Top Ten Stupidest Ways to Attack Someone

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 Get the largest feather you can find and smash it in their face

Can you do it without leaving a mark? - Britgirl

Ouch! That would just HURT! - Immortui-Fortissimus

I don't think I will make it... - Nateawesomeness

OW! MY FACE! (Sarcasm.) - Powerfulgirl10

V 7 Comments
2 Jump from a chopper 50,000 feet above them and try to land on them

You could miss them and get hurt pretty badly. This may even cause death. So don't even THINK about doing this. - EpicJake

Imagine Lee Harvey Oswald doing this on Kennedy... - StephanTheIdiot

*Misses by a centimeter* - MontyPython

Wow... That's pretty stupid... - EvanTheNerd

V 2 Comments
3 Club them hard on the head with a panini V 4 Comments
4 Try to raise a dinosaur from the dead in order to get your victim

Isn't that a little bit too complicated? Can't you raise something closer to now from the dead? How about a Dodo Bird? - Martinglez

I guess I need to learn Edo Tensei (some kind of jutsu in Naruto that can bring the dead to life) - BlueFrostOfThunderClan

Rex, we summon your soul from the Underworld to defeat this ponce. - PositronWildhawk

V 1 Comment
5 Dip your fingers in battery acid and then poke them

Wouldn't that burn? - Powerfulgirl10

6 Smack them with your genitals

Why would you do this it would hurt you more than them and probably really gross them out

I'm going to guess you added this item just so you could say that - Songsta41

Now I have an awful image in my head... - Powerfulgirl10

That's the thing bout this list.

I don't even. - mattstat716

V 1 Comment
7 Kick them extremely slowly

This brings to mind memories of my incredibly awkward childhood. I'd rather not elaborate. - TehBoss

Maybe you should've been born as a sloth instead. - Powerfulgirl10

V 2 Comments
8 Throw a soft ball at them in the hope that it will explode in a matter of seconds

I'd prefer a red one. Their explosions are bigger than their blue counterparts. - Turkeyasylum

Hold on a minute, could you just hold onto that? *takes cover* - PositronWildhawk

9 Yell 'I'm going to attack you', and then lightly tap them on the nose

I've said loads of stuff like that. Lol. - IronSabbathPriest

V 1 Comment
10 Trying to go Super Saiyan and then trying to do a Kamehameha

Everyone who loved Dragon Ball Z probably always wanted to do this. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

V 1 Comment

The Contenders

11 Try to sit on them while they are standing up

If you happen to have a group of people around you in a tight circle, this could quickly turn into a bunch of people sitting on each other whilst being sat on by someone else. - Merilille

V 2 Comments
12 Play Justin Bieber in their ears

Baby would go great with this! - Powerfulgirl10

Haha.

13 Try to coax them into a car compactor

Hey, buddy, I seem to have left my hat in there. Would you be so kind as to get it for me? Oh, this button doesn't really do anything. - PositronWildhawk

Are you trying to reference Goldfinger? With the hat and all. - IronSabbathPriest

14 Slo-mo slap them to death V 1 Comment
15 Attempt to pick them up by a single hair V 3 Comments
16 Throw a Death Note at them

Random Guy: I'll take a Death Note and throw it at that noob over there!
Me: Um, excuse me, that's not how you use a Death Note.
Random Guy: So you're calling me a noob? How about I throw this at you?! (throws the Death Note at me).
Me: So you thought throwing a Death Note at me would kill me, huh? Unfortunately for you, NOOB, I actually KNOW HOW TO USE THIS. I guess I'm the new Kira now! You are as insignificant as the potato chip I just took and ate! - ModernSpongeBobSucks

V 1 Comment
17 Hit them in the face with either a book

Can be deadly. Hitting someone with a hardcover book in the throat can be fatal. In fact not that stupid.

With either a book or...? - Dawscr

Either a book or what...? - Powerfulgirl10

or... - Songsta41

18 Try to shoot a bullet through yourself to hit him V 1 Comment
19 Poke Them To Death V 1 Comment
20 Hit them with a wiffle bat V 1 Comment
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List StatsUpdated 20 Sep 2017

28 listings
1 year, 167 days old

Top Remixes (5)

1. Dip your fingers in battery acid and then poke them
2. Get the largest feather you can find and smash it in their face
3. Play Justin Bieber in their ears
Skullkid755
1. Get the largest feather you can find and smash it in their face
2. Smack them with your genitals
3. Trying to go Super Saiyan and then trying to do a Kamehameha
Martinglez
1. Trying to go Super Saiyan and then trying to do a Kamehameha
2. Yell 'I'm going to attack you', and then lightly tap them on the nose
3. Smack them with your genitals
ModernSpongeBobSucks

WRemix
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