Top Ten Stupidest Ways to Attack Someone

Hawkie, why are you so obsessed with geese and moose?

I see you're contemplating options concerning a certian lab report.

Can you do it without leaving a mark?

I don't think I will make it...

I would try this only if I had a parachute. I'd probably try to gently kick my target in the head or just land on them and try to balance as the parachute floats down and slowly suffocates my opponent as I scuttle away into safety as they drop to the floor and die.

Nope, nothing extreme there. 😙

You could miss them and get hurt pretty badly. This may even cause death. So don't even THINK about doing this.

Imagine Lee Harvey Oswald doing this on Kennedy...

Oh my god that would kill them.

Isn't that a little bit too complicated? Can't you raise something closer to now from the dead? How about a Dodo Bird?

I guess I'll have to travel back in time, and bring out a T-Rex to kill someone.

Rex, we summon your soul from the Underworld to defeat this ponce.

That would hurt you more.

Wouldn't that burn?

I'd prefer a red one. Their explosions are bigger than their blue counterparts.

Hold on a minute, could you just hold onto that? *takes cover*

Focaccia is also acceptable.

They are gonna eat it.

I can't stop laughing.

Lol. That's so funny.

This brings to mind memories of my incredibly awkward childhood. I'd rather not elaborate.

Maybe you should've been born as a sloth instead.

My leg is currently a couple of centimetres above the ground...three centimetres...

Wow effective..

Everyone who loved Dragon Ball Z probably always wanted to do this.

I wish this was real

Why would you do this it would hurt you more than them and probably really gross them out

I'm going to guess you added this item just so you could say that

Now I have an awful image in my head...

That's the thing bout this list.

That would hurt

Baby would go great with this!

If you happen to have a group of people around you in a tight circle, this could quickly turn into a bunch of people sitting on each other whilst being sat on by someone else.

Lol. It might be hard to try.

Hey, buddy, I seem to have left my hat in there. Would you be so kind as to get it for me? Oh, this button doesn't really do anything.

Are you trying to reference Goldfinger? With the hat and all.

That one actually hurts

This actually does hurt.

I want to see this.

Random Guy: I'll take a Death Note and throw it at that noob over there!
Me: Um, excuse me, that's not how you use a Death Note.
Random Guy: So you're calling me a noob? How about I throw this at you?! (throws the Death Note at me).
Me: So you thought throwing a Death Note at me would kill me, huh? Unfortunately for you, NOOB, I actually KNOW HOW TO USE THIS. I guess I'm the new Kira now! You are as insignificant as the potato chip I just took and ate!

Man: I'll go throw thus Death Note at that jerk over there.
Me: That's not how you use a death note...
Man: Whatever. At least I'll try. *throws death note*
Jerk: What is this? A Death Note? Some idiot tried to kill me with this! Ha! It didn't work, punk. I actually know how to use this and I'll kill you with it!
Man: NNNOO!

Well at least there's a 2nd person to see your shinigami

Effective if in your head.

Can be deadly. Hitting someone with a hardcover book in the throat can be fatal. In fact not that stupid.

With either a book or...?

Either a book or what...?

Will never work

What a great idea! I’ll try it sometime.

Once a girl sitting next to me sneezed on me, my friend was laughing, God it was gross!

Could work if you have an infectious disease.

It's annoying when that happens.

Snot death. Gross!

Me: *poke* Boop *person dies*

*eats the corn dog* Thanks!