Top Ten Things a Commander Wants to Say to His Soldiers in a Stealth Game
A commander for an evil corporation doesn't exactly have an easy life. At least, not if the people he commands drop unconscious or dead every five seconds. These are the things he'd most want to shout over the radio to the mooks patrolling the evil base.The Top Ten
1 Shoot any cardboard boxes you see. Shoot twice if red starts leaking out.
2 Immediately report any mysterious disappearances in your group to me.
3 Actually guard what we're hiding for once. If you hear a noise, ignore it.
4 Don't lean over balconies. No exceptions.
5 Look behind you once in awhile. And by once in awhile, I mean every five seconds.
6 Actually make an effort to search for intruders when we announce evidence of one.
7 Never patrol alone. Always have a group with you.
8 It is never the wind, your colleague is dead. He wasn't pushed by a breeze.
9 Don't tell anyone you have a family you want to go home to. Like, ever.
10 ... You know what? Screw it. You're all terrible.
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