Top Ten Things To Do If You Find Yourself Stranded All By Yourself On Mars
They had sent you on a mission to Mars, with three other people. Miracle - you reach Mars safely. You and your three comrades celebrate and congratulate each other... All of a sudden, a metallic portion of the rocket, due to a sudden Mars wind, fell off and blew towards the place where you all where. The metal, driven by the Martian wind, pierce your three friends and they all die instantly. You're stranded on the planet. You're all alone. The rocket's wrecked. You're the only human in millions of miles... Can't leave. Trapped.You're all alone. You're all alone.
The Top Ten
1 Count your blessings. Go out to explore Mars. You're the first to do so! You've enough food. Smile. Laugh. Live! Pray. You gonna die, so what?! God's with you. God's in his Heaven, and all's right with the world... You gonna die... but who gives a damn...
2 Fall on your knees and pray to God.
That's what I'll do!
3 Ask God humbly to do whatever He intends to do.
4 Pray, and then wait gloomily for the miracle to happen.
You can damn well be sure it won't.
5 Pray that you may die peacefully.
6 Try to fix the rocket.
First thing I would do. Unless it meant scrapping the Opportunity Probe for material and tools. But NASA, I think, would take it lightly.
I'll do this of course. I don't believe in praying.
7 Take a few supplies from the rocket and wander till you die.
"He died in zero-gravity..."
8 Rage against your Fate, do the Why-me stunt, and think of all the negative points of the situation.
What weaker guys like me might tend to do...
9 Think pessimistically of all kinds of horrible things that might appear and kill you.
Martians! Big teeth! Pink slime! Slow death! Ah, this is life!
Not exactly what Norman Peale would recommend.
10 Think melodramatically of how life sucks.
I don't remember the Bullock girl doing this.
The Contenders
11 Try to find signs of life
12 Masturbate
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