Top Ten Things to Do If You See a Clown

Around September 2016, reports of clowns lurking around the streets and houses scaring people had begun. Some states in the US, (such as North and South Carolina), have clowns attempting to lure kids into a bush, to do god knows what. Luckily, I haven't faced a clown yet, but what do you do when you see a clown? Take a look at this list for your safety.

Also, this list is out of order, so please don't judge me for the way the items are put.

The Top Ten

1 Run Away

And jump into a haystack, when they walk by it looking for you kill them and drag their corpse into the hay. - Skullkid755

Oh yeah, this is amazing really, why is this happening? - Martinglez

Run?! I would beat the heck out of them instead!

Usain Bolt mode activated! - Catacorn

2 Grab Your Gun, Taser, etc

My dad has a riffle in his closet. And In my neighborhood the clowns have already killed 6 people. So whenever a creepy clown knocks at my door, or I see him. I can grab my dad's riffle and shoot him until the bullets run out.

If you are an adult, you might want to keep a taser or a gun with you. But if you are a child, I suggest skipping this part. - Catacorn

I'll run and gun him into the ocean. - Skullkid755

Yeah! As a weapon for protection.

3 Call 911

Lots of officers are going around trying to get the creepy clowns behind bars. So if you spot a clown, don't hesitate to call 911. - Catacorn

They'll get arrested for "Clowning Around". - Skullkid755

Lol. That's hilarious! - Neonco31

I live in the Carolina's and every 5 seconds there is a kid being lured into a bush. I have called 911 and I got a clown arrested. Thanks for the list Catacorn, its very helpful.

4 Fight It

If you're brave enough, knock that dude out! - Catacorn

If it tries to get near me or fight me, I’m not holding back

And then enjoy heaven. - GrapeJuiceK

Kick it until it dies.

5 Act Friendly Towards It

Most clowns attack the people who insult it. If you wave at it or say hi, it might do the same thing back at you, and it won't bother you. - Catacorn

Maybe you should hug it, after all, he has a sign saying free hugs.

And then command it to destroy other clowns. - Skullkid755

6 Kick It In The Nuts

If it's a guy clown, kick him in the nuts a few times so he'll be in too much pain to chase you. - Catacorn

Yeah! Awesome! Dude, I would do this if a clown ever comes near me!

And crack them, that's what clowns deserve. - Skullkid755

What if it's a girl? - ProPanda

1 Comment
7 Stay Indoors

The easiest way to avoid a clown attack is to just stay away! - Catacorn

The safest option on the list.

Keep traps around too. - Skullkid755

8 Lock All Windows, Doors, and Vents

Wait but what if he smashes a window - Yoshidude

That way he won't break into your house. - Catacorn

Again, traps. - Skullkid755

9 Knock Him Out

With a bat. - Skullkid755

10 Set Up a Trap

Bear trap should do the trick. - RogerMcBaloney

In your front or backyard, set up a trap and a security camera and watch to see if any clowns attempt to get on your property. - Catacorn

I was hoping to see this. - Skullkid755

The Contenders

11 Sick Your Dog On Them

Rumor has it that the colorful parts of the clown taste like birthday cake, so any German shepherd, pit bull, or just a very vicious chihuahua would enjoy chomping down on his arms, legs, etc.

Spelling correction: the action of having your dog attack is spelled "sic", just as the original post had it. Somebody changed it to "sick" which is incorrect.

Unless it's a circus dog. - Skullkid755

12 Say "I Like Trains" Right Next To Him
13 Slice him up

The best thing since sliced clown - GrapeJuiceK

Like a ninja on steroids. - Skullkid755

Do your best Toshiro Mifune imitation, and eviscerate the clown.

14 Roundhouse Kick Him

Baby mama

Like Chuck Norris!

In the brain. - Skullkid755

15 Tickle him
16 Tickle His Belly Button

The best course of action of course. - RogerMcBaloney

17 Take a video
18 Give Him CryptoLocker
19 Put Him in a Headlock
20 Make Him Watch Boku no Pico
21 Act Casual
22 Flirt With Him
23 Challenge Him to a One-on-One Wrestling Match
24 Get in His Van for the Free Candy

That's what you do, right? - Sop

25 Flip Him Off
26 Ask If He is Pennywise
27 Spank Him
28 Swear at Him
29 Pepper Spray Her
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