Top Ten Things to Do In a Quiet Library

Liven up the library with these bizarre things to do. Add some of your own if you fancy.

The Top Ten

1 Gather all the nerds up from study area to do the Conga

Sorry PositronWildhawk, I just couldn't leave! Having a few days off to recharge my batteries has made me realise that TheTopTens has become a big part of my life. Hope you enjoy this list. - Britgirl

Indeed I do, my friend. And glad to have you back.
At my school, these students once planned a Harlem Shake in the school library. The "slightly crazy" librarian knew nothing about it and they were caught in the act when she came back from her coffee break. Her face was truly unforgettable! - PositronWildhawk

This is so hilarous, still! - HezarioSeth

Hey buddies let's do a conga... Yay! <WRECKING HAVOC IN THE LIBRARY>---- - Kiteretsunu

2 Ask the librarian loudly for a book on how not to shout in a library

Roaring with laughter on the library floor! - HezarioSeth

I love this. Funny. Laugh out loud


I saw this on The Two Ronnies sketch once. Made me laugh. Oh yes, haha! - Britgirl

V 1 Comment
3 Sing Silent Night really loudly

Great to have you back, Britgirl. I can really visualize this. Even better in German: Stille Nacht. - beatles

How Ironic that would be! And beatles I love the German version too: Stille Nacht, Heilige Nacht, Alles Schlaeft, Einsam Wacht, Nur Das Treute I'm... - Epekov

4 Pretend to learn to read and loudly read a noddy book in the study area

I would so love to do this. My naughty side may make me one day... - Britgirl

Haha, I really believe that you'll do it, Britgirl! - HezarioSeth

I'm oddly tempted to do this... - Entranced98

5 Hand the librarian your laundry bag and ask for a service wash
6 Have a picnic
7 Shout loudly above non-existent music, "I love this song, don't you?"

Wasn't the same without you, Britgirl. Welcome back! If anyone had the nerve to do this it would be so hilarious! - Barry2013


8 Tap dance on the carpet and moan that, "this is a crap place to do this!"
9 Have dry sex

I just stood staring at the screen when I saw this, and do not ask why, because I don't know.

The librarians face when she walks down the aisle and finds this... - Icantbelieveitsnotbutter

10 Stare at someone across the table for as long as they can stand, then laugh and say, "booya! I won!"

I'd do that if I knew them - Curti2594

The Contenders

11 Loudly ask the librarian, "why are there so many naked pictures of you on the Internet?"
12 Ask the librarian for a book on... (don't finish the sentence, roll your eyes into their sockets and leave)

Ten bucks says this is a PWhawk or a Britgirl... Real funny! - HezarioSeth

13 Puke on the books
14 Scream loudly while the librarian is out of sight, and pretend to read when they return

Me having 7 siblings would be very loud.

15 Eat a Banana Really Loudly
16 Start dancing like Gangnam Style

Laugh out loud Laughed my ass out this is the funniest thing I have ever read

17 Shout "be quiet!"

Oh, the irony! - Entranced98

18 Hit on the librarian

I'd say you were a brave one, if you consider ACTUALLY doing this.
"Hey, babe, as a librarian, you probably know who borrowed the book of love. Giving it back to you." And BLAM! - PositronWildhawk

19 Pee and then walk off

This would have to be done in a corner where no one could see you, otherwise you would be kicked out right away. I say don't tell anybody and let the librarian stumble on the random stain that smells like pee in the corner of the library. - Icantbelieveitsnotbutter

20 Breath very, very, loudly

This would either be very annoying or very erotic. But I guess that would depend on what mood you were in at the time. Hmm... - Britgirl

21 Take a dump on the twighlight books

And it them back on the shelves. The next fan girl will have a nice surprise waiting for her! - Icantbelieveitsnotbutter

22 Pretend to sneeze really loudly
23 Play Pink Floyd songs

Any music, really. Why Pink Floyd the most? You can do worse, for instance, heavy metal in a library would be pretty bad. - PositronWildhawk

24 Play a loud game of cards
25 Eat Spam Meat
26 Moonwalk
27 Sing loudly in a foreign language
28 Cuss and knock shelves over
29 Release some rats inside
30 Scream "cyanide" and run away
31 Start rapping
32 Play a game with the sound all the way up, cuss when you lose
33 Dress up as a fairy and run around throwing glitter on everything
34 Laugh very loudly at things that aren't even funny
35 Sing in a chipmunk voice
36 Say things that don't make sense, with a straight face. Then walk out calmly.

Hello to the person who added this. I can imagine it and it's making me laugh. Thank you! I demand you tell me who (or what) you are! Haha! - Britgirl

I am rabid pirate squirrel looking for nuts. Actually that would sound worse in some kind of bar. - Icantbelieveitsnotbutter

37 Yawn Loudly In Someone's Ear
38 Have a very loud argument on the phone... except you don't have a phone. You are using your hand as your phone.
39 Pull out an air horn and blast it out!
40 Reenact the Eggboy scene from "It"

Step 1: find a red balloon and a music box that plays lullabies. Also have someone find and dress up in boys’ clothes from the 1900s. Make that person headless and tell him or her to bring Easter eggs.
Step 2: play the lullaby quietly while floating the balloon, luring your victim
Step 3: once your victim is in position, have the person in costume approach him or her
slowly then chase your victim around the library.
Step 4: profit!

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