Top Ten Things That Get Harder and Harder As You Drive North Through Great Britain

This list is not to insult those "oop nawth". Even if I am a Londoner myself.

The Top Ten

1 Understanding what other people are saying

I've been a southern wanker for nearly four years now. But before that I was a thick northerner. Still have most of the accent.

Don't bump into me then, I live in the North West.

2 Staying sober

3 Finding UKIP voters

Something which I do like about the north is their attitude towards Mr. Farage.

4 Thinking of terms of phrase which do not begin with "t" letter t"

There's a joke we have in West London about a Yorkshire couple making love. One says "Naw worries, darlin', ah've got no young 'uns wi' t'urex."

5 Refusing gravy

6 Not getting into fights, if not moans

7 Avoiding driving into cows

They end up everywhere, even where my grandparents live, near Gloucester.

8 Keeping a straight face when seeing people on bikes

Except it does make you think of a bizarre custom that exists south of London...

9 Blocking out the smell of cheese and goat milk in every shop

10 Differentiating the road from the pavement

Too much gravel on both to notice.

The Contenders

11 Seeing some of the worst towns.

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