The Wonders Of The Sleep Deprived Human Mind

PositronWildhawk
As I write this entry into my journal of philosophical entities that comprise my dire life, I am aware that I am plagued by the wild fluctuations of gravitational oscillations, converging to the singularity, currently inconveniently placed within my head. Being shaken, not stirred, into a state of unstable enlightenment, I, as one of mankind's greatest known deep thinkers, aim to use this rare phenomenon in the spacetime continuum to unlock the secrets of our complex universe.

My, oh my, our species is obscene. Approximately a quadrillion percent of living organisms fail to unify quantum with gravity, PB with J, and mongoose with Terminator. We are driven by the notion of living petty, depressing lives involving the observation of balls going in nets, and manboys releasing popular combinations of hypnotic noises. Is this an accomplishment for humankind? These observations are not a contribution to science!

Or are they? Can we be sure these balls have entered the net? Let's assume a model in which the ball is a point mass, holding a total internal energy eigenvalue equal to that of a typical, umm... ball. Before we consider its physical trajectory, presumed to be quasiperiodic as it is confined to a certain phase space and follows a general cycle, let us model how its stress-energy tensor is influenced by the permeability gradient across five dimensions, and perhaps a normalised gamma function describing the ball's set of states will reduce to an axis in orthogonal Hilbert Space.

Space! That's a clue to many of my queries. After all, space is big. You may think it's a long way down the street to the chemist...
Chemists! They're just sloppy physicists! How do they get a department at this bloody institute for just the tiny part of science we might as well call electron physics?!
Electron! Nero! Innocence, you'll never be mine...oh, oh, oh, BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH BAH, BAH BAH ZZYH ZZYH ZZYH BAH BAH!

From the following charts, one can see the probability of mankind redeeming itself as a function of coffee.
Maybe I should lay off the coffee? No! I am not a heartless jerk! The coffee needs this job! It has a wife and children!
We talk about family a lot. My sister came around the other day, and I can tell, because I can hear her from the basement.
I jumped with Huge Joy when I met a sexy girl. Huge Joy herself was nice, but I don't date fat girls.
The coffee's wife is a girl. My sister is a girl. Huge Joy is a girl. Hillary Clinton is a girl. Hey girl...

You see that pale blue dot? Well, I can see it, 'cos I've got the spacetime continuum in my brain and you don't. Ha ha, you unenlightened FOOLS!
Interesting that you should mention my brain. A powerhouse of information, ready to reign upon all by Friday! Mark my words, because your brain is so insignificant, it won't do so automatically!
That pale blue dot is very interesting to us nerds: Carl Sagan, James Cameron, etc. And so is the one about a hand width to its right. And the paler blue circles around it, oh lord, they contain so much more knowledge.
I really gotta stop procrastinating over the blue chicks in Avatar.

According to Article 61 of the Charter of the Virgo Supercluster, we are owed more milk and chocolate croissants by the Warriors of Zuzu Centaurai. This is a miscarriage of justice! Curse you, Zuzan Intergalactic Empire; I am going to HAUNT YOUR DREAMS until they're DRY!
*falsetto tone* What a profound and poignant idea you just had, Harry, old boy.
Why thank you, Balthazar the Flamingo and Ezekiel the Sandwich, you flatter me, in spite of me doubting whether you're actually real.
*falsetto* Let's go out for black mojito ice cream!
OK, your existence must be quintessentially infallible! Just, not the place with all the hippies.

To sleep, or not to sleep, that is the question...
I'm bloody sick of this! I'm ill met by moonlight, proud Titania!
Dawn is coming, albeit slowly. Enough Shakespeare Sunnets.

With the evidence above, I'm nearing a conclusion that could change the course of mankind's instinct!
Merely follow the all-knowing shepherd, my flock of sheep, and learn the wisdom of my ways!

Oh, you've all sodded off, in total ignorance of my game-changing ramblings...

My, oh my, our species is obscene...

Comments

Someone spike your crumpet? - Puga

With caffeine? Quite possibly. - PositronWildhawk

Only I drink coffee. Geddit James? - Therandom

Whoever it was, I should've come up with it first. - Puga

What a quirky ramble into the depths of... a tired mind. - SwagFlicks

Nice job. - Therandom

*sods off* - TwilightKitsune

You have officially went crazy - 2storm

Yeah lol, but he still did a nice job. - Therandom

Nope. I'm still here! I want to know more but you may have fallen into deep slumber... - Britgirl

I don't honestly think that'll happen soon. - PositronWildhawk

I have the most random thoughts at night, including calling portable iPhone chargers "Apple Juice" - CityGuru

Pozzzitron WIldhawk, nice job - ProPanda

Nice, basically my tired mind at 2 am. - Catacorn

Nice post! - bobbythebrony

This is deep - Martinglez

Nice job! - visitor

Books are expensive these days. That's why I'm reading this ha ha amazing post bro! (P.S. Yeah, I know I'm really late) - UltimateHybridX

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