Top 10 Things Metal Bands of Different Subgenres Would Say If They Sold Only 10 Copies

I made this list for fun and I don't hate these subgenres. I just "played" with some stereotypes, facts, tendencies and expressions.

Usually every metal band sells over 10 copies - I just exaggerated it to make the context of my list funnier.

Also, I am not complaining about metal not being mainstream - I know metal isn't mainstream and shouldn't be. In metal, popularity and the number of sold copies may be interpreted differently than in the non-metal genres.

I guess only metal fans would fully understand this list...

The Top Ten Things Metal Bands of Different Subgenres Would Say If They Sold Only 10 Copies

1 Black Metal band: We sold 10 copies?! Oh, no... We went mainstream and we're sellouts now...
2 Death Metal band: 666 of our fans have probably died since our previous album.
3 Power Metal band: Only 10 copies this time? This is because they put our album on the black metal shelf in the music shops. It wasn't a good idea to title our album 'Ode To The Black Dragon Superpowers'.

This one surprised me I had assumed power metal was an equally obscure sub genre.

4 Nu Metal band: Only 10 copies? Haha, they forgot to add 6 digits! Wait... maybe we accidentally made a real metal album this time...

I love this one - wrests

5 Symphonic Metal band: We created a masterpiece. And only 10 copies?! It's time to find a female frontman...err..., frontwoman. Sorry Tommy...

Poor Tommy :( - cjWriter1997

6 Progressive Metal: This is extremely embarrassing because we've made progress since our previous concept album (Starless Oblivion, pt. XIVI) and even the title of our new album is much better (Abstract to the Scenes of My Starless Oblivion, pt. XIIVI-1.1)

"Maybe next time we should try naming it Even More Abstract to the Scenes of My Starless Oblivion, pt. XiiVi-1.2" - cjWriter1997

7 Technical Death Metal band: Yay, 10 copies! Technically, this is an achievement. Let's celebrate!

Technical death metal is one of the least accessible metal subgenres - it's not for everyone, especially its more brutal versions. - Metal_Treasure

8 Folk Metal band: Odin, folks didn't like our extreme outfits and make-up. Help us, Odin!
9 Neo-classical Metal: God bless Beethoven fans!

I know it isn't Beethoven in the image but I mentioned Beethoven because everyone has heard of him (at least of his name). UPDATE: where's the image? There was an image over here... - Metal_Treasure

10 Flamenco Metal band: We went mainstream in Spain! Spanish metalheads rock!

The Contenders

11 Thrash Metal band: We may be thrash metal, but in terms of sales we are trash metal.
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