Top 10 Things Metal Bands of Different Subgenres Would Say If They Sold Only 10 Copies

Metal_Treasure
I made this list for fun and I don't hate these subgenres. I just "played" with some stereotypes, facts, tendencies and expressions.

Usually every metal band sells over 10 copies - I just exaggerated it to make the context of my list funnier.

Also, I am not complaining about metal not being mainstream - I know metal isn't mainstream and shouldn't be. In metal, popularity and the number of sold copies may be interpreted differently than in the non-metal genres.

I guess only metal fans would fully understand this list...

The Top Ten

1 Black Metal band: We sold 10 copies?! Oh, no... We went mainstream and we're sellouts now...

This actually reminds me of what Euronymous said was why Dead commited suicide and then he wanted to be mainstream... - Lucretia

2 Death Metal band: 666 of our fans have probably died since our previous album. Death Metal band: 666 of our fans have probably died since our previous album.
3 Power Metal band: Only 10 copies this time? This is because they put our album on the black metal shelf in the music shops. It wasn't a good idea to title our album 'Ode To The Black Dragon Superpowers'. Power Metal band: Only 10 copies this time? This is because they put our album on the black metal shelf in the music shops. It wasn't a good idea to title our album 'Ode To The Black Dragon Superpowers'.
4 Nu Metal band: Only 10 copies? Haha, they forgot to add 6 digits! Wait... maybe we accidentally made a real metal album this time... Nu Metal band: Only 10 copies? Haha, they forgot to add 6 digits! Wait... maybe we accidentally made a real metal album this time...

I love this one - wrests

5 Symphonic Metal band: We created a masterpiece. And only 10 copies?! It's time to find a female frontman...err..., frontwoman. Sorry Tommy...

Poor Tommy :( - cjWriter1997

6 Progressive Metal: This is extremely embarrassing because we've made progress since our previous concept album (Starless Oblivion, pt. XIVI) and even the title of our new album is much better (Abstract to the Scenes of My Starless Oblivion, pt. XIIVI-1.1) Progressive Metal: This is extremely embarrassing because we've made progress since our previous concept album (Starless Oblivion, pt. XIVI) and even the title of our new album is much better (Abstract to the Scenes of My Starless Oblivion, pt. XIIVI-1.1)

"Maybe next time we should try naming it Even More Abstract to the Scenes of My Starless Oblivion, pt. XiiVi-1.2" - cjWriter1997

7 Technical Death Metal band: Yay, 10 copies! Technically, this is an achievement. Let's celebrate!

Technical death metal is one of the least accessible metal subgenres - it's not for everyone, especially its more brutal versions. - Metal_Treasure

8 Folk Metal band: Odin, folks didn't like our extreme outfits and make-up. Help us, Odin! Folk metal is a fusion genre of heavy metal music and traditional folk music that developed in Europe during the 1990s.
9 Neo-classical Metal: God bless Beethoven fans! Neoclassical metal is a subgenre of heavy metal that is heavily influenced by classical music and usually features very technical playing, consisting of elements borrowed from both classical and speed metal music.

I know it isn't Beethoven on the image but I mentioned Beethoven because everyone has heard of him (at least of his name). - Metal_Treasure

10 Flamenco Metal band: We went mainstream in Spain! Spanish metalheads rock!
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10 listings
15 days old

Top Remixes

1. Black Metal band: We sold 10 copies?! Oh, no... We went mainstream and we're sellouts now...
2. Death Metal band: 666 of our fans have probably died since our previous album.
3. Power Metal band: Only 10 copies this time? This is because they put our album on the black metal shelf in the music shops. It wasn't a good idea to title our album 'Ode To The Black Dragon Superpowers'.
Metal_Treasure

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