Top 10 Things Not to Say During Military Deployment

The Top Ten

1 The Time is Going by Really Fast.

Uh... I don't think that's rude.

No. It's not. Until your spouse is absent 24/7 for months at a time, do not, under any circumstances, assume that it's going by just as fast for them as it is for you. You aren't changing dirty diapers, cooking, cleaning, helping with homework, being mom taxi, etc. all by yourself, so of course it's going by fast for you. - snowbird87

2 I Was Going to Call You, but I Know You're Busy.

Really? Do you text, or engage in social media? Of course I'm busy, my spouse is deployed. Please don't try to cover up your lack of concern with a lame excuse, because this isn't our first rodeo with finding out who our real friends are. Silence is acceptable, however, keep in mind that you must accept our silence when the spouse returns. Don't reappear when they return, because you have been moved to bottom of our list of priorities. - snowbird87

3 Do You Need Anything?

This is a silly question. Of course I need something. My spouse is deployed. The better question to ask would be, "WHAT do you need? " Keep in mind, we can smell fake support a mile away. If your concerns aren't genuine, refer to #2 and remember that silence is acceptable. - snowbird87

4 At Least He's in a Safe Place.

If your deployed soldier is sent to a classified location, carries a weapon, or can't tell you what time zone they're in, it's not a safe location. In our world, no deployment is "safe". - snowbird87

5 Maybe We Can Come Visit While He's Away, to Help Out.

Not a good idea. The spouse at home doesn't need anything extra thrown on their plate, especially entertaining out of town visitors. Helping out would mean doing laundry, cooking, bathing and changing kids, grocery shopping, house cleaning etc... So if you're not invited, don't invite yourself. - snowbird87

6 Don't You Wish You Could Leave for 9 Months?

No, jackass. I absolutely do not wish I could leave my family for 9 months. My children are the reason I breathe and there is no where I would rather spend ANY day, let alone 300, away from them. Good grief. - snowbird87

7 You Should Take a Vacation by Yourself When He Returns.

Refer to #2 and #6, and when in doubt, always remember SILENCE IS ACCEPTABLE. - snowbird87

8 I Talked to Your In-Laws and They Have Been Worried Sick About Him. is He O.K.?

Well, I talk to him twice a week and I can assure you he's fine. Since the rationed phone time is normally used for the spouse and children, it is not common for mom and dad to not be totally in the loop. Should they want details, or if they are "worried sick", they can always call and I would be happy to fill them in. - snowbird87

9 I Don't Know How You Do It.

Well, I don't really have the choice to not do it. My kids still need to be bathed, fed, taken to school, entertained.. Etc. Trust me, if it was an option, I would choose to not have my husband absent for months at a time. - snowbird87

10 Well, It's Only 9 Months, It Could Be a Whole Year.

A deployment is a deployment. To most people, 9 months IS a year. When you're missing first steps, first words, first days of school, birthdays, anniversaries, holidays, births and graduations, time is time. - snowbird87

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