Things that Will Happen Before a New Tool Album is Released

It's been 10 years since the last Tool album, they barely perform live anymore. Although we know they are working on a new album, we also know that Tool loves to mess with the fans, constantly feeding misinformation to protect their own privacy. It seems like a new Tool album will never come, here's what will happen by the time it comes out.

NOTE: THIS LIST USES SARCASM. I am very hopeful for a new Tool album, but rather than being nosy, might as well joke about it.

The Top Ten

1 Hillary Clinton will be given presidency

To all the #NotMyPresident and #Recount2016 people. It's true. Donald Trump won, it will stay that way, not even a new Tool album can change that. - ryanrimmel

2 Squirrels will go extinct
3 A New Perfect Circle Album

This did happen - HenryMan73

Maynard recently said that Tool's writing process is slow and tedious, but is also currently working on new music with A Perfect Circle. Given Tool's track record, we should expect to see A Perfect Circle first. - ryanrimmel

4 Ryanrimmel will meet Jesus Christ himself
5 Flying cars will exist

I know they technically do, but I mean they will be driven by most people - ryanrimmel

6 People will start listening to Nickelback again

Well, this didn't happen - HenryMan73

Haha. I might've gone too far with this. - ryanrimmel

7 Varg Vikernes will be arrested for murder again
8 Hell will freeze over
9 SJWs will move to Canada

It's been a month now, I thought y'all were moving to Canada? Oh that's right... Most people who said that can't even leave class without getting a detention. - ryanrimmel

10 People will start using Internet Explorer

The Contenders

11 Half Life 3 Will Be Released
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