Top Ten Things You Don't Want to Read On Your Birthday Card

The Top Ten

1 Congrats, today you’ve turned from a boy into Mummy’s little pedophile!

This comment finished me. Happy Birthday PositronWildhawk! - Danielsun182

Happy 18th birthday PositronWildhawk

Brilliant list.
Happy 18th Birthday, Positron. - Kiteretsunu

Haha! Another great & funny list to be proud of. Happy 18th birthday, Wildhawk!

2 Another year closer to your inevitable death…

I wrote this in my friend's card, she wasn't happy. - WheresMyGuitarPick

I always say this whenever it's my friend's birthday. - RoseWeasley


You give me this card, I'll give a knife in your neck!

3 If you can read this, you must think you’re recuperating! Sorry to disappoint. Happy 90th Birthday!

How strange. My birthday was a week ago and I got this very message.

Happy birthday, positron. Us December folks got to stick together. We only get one present a year. - CityGuru

4 You'll find a cheque enclosed with your new bank details. You’re financially responsible for everything you do now!

Please don't constantly tell me this. - PositronWildhawk

Why? , you are officially not dependent and have your own net worth, isn't it great? - yatharthb

The reason I enjoy being a kid. - An_Average_Person

Please do constantly tell me this. - Comments

5 Mozart was dead before this age. Why aren’t you?

This would be perfect to write in a birthday card that you're gonna send to someone you hate.

Because I killed him - TwilightKitsune

6 May God bless you on this day. For all the things you do when you’re drunk.

This happened to my friend once. - Mumbizz01

7 18 Today! You’re legally an adult today, so I hope you’re younger than your crush.

Haha, indeed. So tell us, Pos, are you? - PetSounds

8 Someone else will be born today. Let’s hope it was someone more prodigal.
9 Happy 145th Birthd-, uh-oh.
10 Happy Birthday, old man. Stay away from the light.

The Contenders

11 Now that you are older, it is time to tell you that you're adopted
12 CONGRATULATIONS! You're one year closer to death!

That's would be weird to say. - cosmo

This one is pretty funny. - Lunala

13 I think you're old enough to watch porn!
14 I just ran over your girlfriend

That's fine. She broke my heart, damnit! - PositronWildhawk

15 You're f****** old!
16 When are you gonna die?
17 F*** You
18 Oops, I forgot my wallet
19 All I want for my birthday is a big booty hoe!
20 Allahu Akbar!
21 A dog will take a dump over your head, so look above you!

That's nasty! - Freddy_Fazbear

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