Top Ten Things You Might Hear Whilst Reviewing Antique Furniture

Take this list how you like. Innuendo, double entendres or just plain straight. If you have anything else to add, please do feel free

The Top Ten Things You Might Hear Whilst Reviewing Antique Furniture

1 The knob's falling off from too much handling
2 This has rising damp in the drawers
3 The chest is in tip-top condition but the legs have dry rot
4 This pretty little piece is outwardly in very good condition but has a screw loose
5 Ancient artifacts found in drawers but once removed, you can clearly see the ravages of time
6 The pouf is in good condition but is older than it looks
7 The knobs on the chest are sagging

From the Whoopi Goldberg Collection.

8 The piece is aging well, impressive chest but the knockers aren't genuine
9 If you look closely, you will notice the wear and tear of the bottom. I believe it was once used by a lot of soldiers

The "Baby-Back Bivouac BarcaLounger." Timeless classic.

10 The bottom has a crack in it
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