Top Ten Things You Might Hear in a Wildlife Documentary that You Shouldn't Say About Your Girlfriend

The Top Ten Things You Might Hear in a Wildlife Documentary that You Shouldn't Say About Your Girlfriend

1 She releases a strong combination of hormones which the males can detect from miles away
2 Evolution has put the male in a dominant position, and she would be foolish to challenge this

Nope, don't, breakup will be inevitable. - Martinglez

3 Unless her eggs are fertilized, she will suffer some very harsh consequences

And you don't want to be around during those harsh consequences either! It may just end up in a wildlife documentary about Shark Week... - Britgirl

4 Frequently, she chooses the most impressive individual between several different males

The most impressive, yes, but not necessarily the right one. - Britgirl

5 She is unaware of the presence of the hidden camera, watching her while she sleeps

Then she wakes up and see her mate sleeping with a woman. Mother Nature knows what she's gonna do to her mate. - StephanTheIdiot

Say, I have a question. Um... Any last words? - Delgia2k

How do you know I'm unaware of any hidden cameras...? - Britgirl

6 She has the strength to carry twenty to thirty males with her

You do realized that men are more heavier then women.

7 The power of her legs could snap a man's rib cage with ease

This mellow-thighed chick just put my spine out of place! - PetSounds

8 Her kind are hunted for her large rump meat, which, for the hunter, can be worth a lot of money

Dear God, I am sorry for laughing at such a heinous list. Please forgive me. - CityGuru

Haha ha ha...oh god...did I just take a wrong meaning of the statement! - Toucan

Hilarious - Martinglez

9 The loud noise she makes as a mating call is very distinctive

Yah. Sort of the sound that lets out when you stub your naked little toe. - Britgirl

10 In today's episode we are looking at the wild Girlfriend or hottus girlus in Latin

The Contenders

11 She rolls in the male's urine

Last night, I watched a documentary about America's "big five animals" and when I got to the moose, this was what it said. Trollollolloll

NEVER SAY THAT TO YOUR GIRLFRIEND! 😠

12 She often forages in another man's trash for food to give to her young

That is very mean to say describe a girlfriend in such a horrible manner.

13 Behold, a particularly large chick
14 She stores large amounts of food to prepare for winter
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