Things You Should Never Do When You Meet a Bona Fide Londoner

Use this list as your Guide on What Not to do When You Meet a Londoner. I'm only thinking of you....

The Top Ten

1 Talk Cockney Rhyming Slang to Them

I'm a Londoner, and I can tell you, if you go up to them and say as much as "Cor, blimey, love", then I would say it was nice knowing you. I know hardly anyone with a voice like that. - PositronWildhawk

They'll only ask you if you've lost your carer. - Britgirl

P.W: your cousins, eh? I might know them! Haha! - Britgirl

B.G. I'm from Ealing. And Brighton, I love Brighton. My cousins live there. - PositronWildhawk

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2 Offer to Buy a Used Car Off Them
3 Say You Hate Jellied Eels

Even if you do, don't say it. - Britgirl

4 Ask Where the Nearest Pie and Mash Shop Is
5 Ask Where Big Ben Is
6 Say 'I've Got a Friend Who Lives In London. Do You Know Her, Her Mame's Mary.'

This is one of those things I have to put up with when I tell people I'm from London. London homes over eight million people, so yes, of course I'm going to know your friend Mary, aren't I? We bump into each other all the time. Tsk! - Barry2013

7 Pass Up the Offer of a Cold Beer
8 Start Singing, "Knees Up Muvva Brown"
9 Parade Your I Love NYC T-shirt In Their Face

I am in New York now and I wholeheartedly say that London is better. - Epekov

I like London and NYC. As do many Londoners. But forcing it onto us can be annoying.

They're very proud Londoners, you know. - Britgirl

I'm a Londoner, and we actually get this a lot. We're used to it. Whereas speaking in a fake Cockney voice will, most of the time, result in the need of an ambulance. Like the time my brother nearly got punched in Wales for posing like the red dragon and calling everyone "boyo". - PositronWildhawk

10 Ask to See the Queen

This is just a dumb thing to do. Seriously!

"Umm...I was wondering with you being a Londoner and all...Could you arrange for me to see the Queen? "

Only a wally would do that... Or an American! - Britgirl

The Contenders

11 Start the Eastenders Drum-roll

No! Don't do this. I have to hear this four times a week and I don't want to hear it outside - BBC

Just don't do it... - Britgirl

12 Go Up an Escalator On London Underground and Stop at the Top
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