Top 10 Things You Should Never Question About Certain Video Games

xandermartin98

The Top Ten

1 What even is this game? - LSD Dream Emulator
2 Why does destroying basically everything in existence make Kirby so happy? - Kirby Series
3 Why do the Amalgamates look and act SO much like serial r*pists? - Undertale
4 Why is one of the characters an anthropomorphic blue condom? And why is literally EVERYTHING made out of oily naked muscle men and the like? - Cho Aniki

Hentai for girls? I've never heard of this game before but now that I've seen this I'm never playing it. - BlueTopazIceVanilla

5 How many live test subjects did the Space Pirates actually use for their horrifically failed Morph Ball experiments? - Metroid Prime
6 Why are TWO absolutely insane schizophrenics (one of which is literally using the flight stick as a guitar) being allowed to fly an airplane together in Stage 4? - Um Jammer Lammy
7 Does Fawful actually seriously have a vore/inflation fetish? Like, for real and stuff? - Mario & Luigi: Bowser's Inside Story
8 Why was Alphys obsessively stalking a young anime-haired child (and Dora lookalike) through video camera for the first half of the game? - Undertale
9 Why does Sunny have such an unbearable fetish for Parappa's poop? Is it because she wants to be fertilized? - Parappa The Rapper
10 Why is Luigi so flipping good at crossdressing himself as a princess? And why does he enjoy it so much? - Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga

The Contenders

11 What Types of Kinky Things Does Bowser Actually Do with Peach? - Super Mario Bros.

I think he just ropes her up just so that Mario can save her. From every single Mario game I've played, he doesn't pose a big threat to Peach at all. I mean in Super Mario Galaxy 2, he captured her, and he claimed his motive was so that Peach can bake him some cake. - TwilightKitsune

12 How Exactly Does a Dog Have Sex with a Flower? - Parappa the Rapper
13 Besides Ameoboid Feces, What Else are the Sewer Crystals Made Out Of? - Ratchet & Clank: Up Your Arsenal
14 Why Does the Pre-Stage-3 Cutscene Exist? - Um Jammer Lammy
15 Why is the Warden So Excited About Crawling Back Into His Own Horrifically Mutated Mother's Womb? - House of the Dead: Overkill
16 Why Do These Games Revolve So Heavily Around Magic Mushrooms? - Mario Series
17 How Did No One Notice When Lammy Crashed an Airplane Right Into the Middle of a Fully-Loaded Drive-In Theatre Parking Lot? - Um Jammer Lammy
18 How Did No One Notice When Lammy Slipped on a Banana Peel and Died Right in the Middle of the Street? - Um Jammer Lammy

And how exactly do you slip on a banana peel and die? - BlueTopazIceVanilla

19 How Did Simply Turning Back Her Alarm Clock and Getting Her Underwear Caught on a Doorknob Cause Lammy to Travel Back Through Time? - Um Jammer Lammy
20 Why does the Giantess Carmelita boss fight exist? - Sly 3: Honor Among Thieves
21 Why are there entire planets made out of mucus and intestines? - Earthworm Jim
22 How was Jim able to launch a cow all the way across the galaxy simply by dropping a refridgerator onto a seesaw? - Earthworm Jim
23 How is Jim's head literally stronger than bullets if he's an earthworm? - Earthworm Jim
24 How exactly does Jim actually control his suit? - Earthworm Jim
25 What was Cathy Pillar's pink bubblegum vomit actually supposed to be? - Um Jammer Lammy
26 Why is an anthropomorphic onion teaching me karate? - Parappa The Rapper
27 What kind of hallucinogenic drugs is Lammy on? - Um Jammer Lammy
28 Seriously, what the hell happened to Burgerpants' face? - Undertale
29 Why does Captain Qwark enjoy crossdressing so much? - Ratchet & Clank
30 Why do these games have such AWFUL taste in note timing and freestyling? - Parappa The Rapper and Um Jammer Lammy
31 Why does Mario buy Bowser's brand of bread? - Hotel Mario
32 Why is Zelda such a sadistic b*tch in this game? - Wand Of Gamelon
33 How and why did Ganon just die in literally one hit from a book of all things? - Faces Of Evil
34 How are the adult and baby versions of Mario and Luigi both coexisting in the same time period with such immense ease? - Mario & Luigi: Partners in Time
35 Did the Weighted Companion Cube actually have mangled human body parts stuffed into it? - Portal
36 Is Crazy Hand actually supposed to be the toymaster's masturbation hand? - Super Smash Bros
37 What did Captain Fussenpepper actually mean with that "right hand" line? - Um Jammer Lammy
38 When Paul Chuck threatened to violently mutilate Lammy with a chainsaw, was it more of a reference to r*pe or murder? - Um Jammer Lammy
39 How is Lammy able to use literally ANYTHING as a guitar? - Um Jammer Lammy
40 How do you use a chainsaw as a guitar without accidentally cutting at least one of your hands off in the process? - Um Jammer Lammy
41 Why is the fanbase sexually attracted to literally EVERYTHING in this game? - Undertale
42 Why is the fanbase sexually attracted to dead children trapped inside deranged animatronic monsters? - Five Nights at Freddy's
43 Why is Lammy so ridiculously hot and sexy? - Um Jammer Lammy
44 Why is there so much brain-fetish fanfiction for these games? - Undertale and Um Jammer Lammy
45 How often does Qwark use his Pocket Crotchetizer? - Ratchet & Clank
46 How did people seriously manage to mistake Shadow for Sonic? - Sonic Adventure 2
47 Is Toriel a pedophile? - Undertale
48 How is N. Gin able to live with half of an entire undetonated nuclear missile lodged into his brain? - Crash Bandicoot
49 Why did Cortex think that crossdressing himself as Coco was a good idea? - Crash Twinsanity
50 How exactly does the whole "portals to the Puzzle Realm" thing work when you're already IN THE PUZZLE REALM? - Henry Hatsworth
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