Top Ten Seinfeld Episodes


The Top Ten

1 The Contest

Actually ANY episode that dealt with sex or had an alternate story line about sex are the best ones. Never ever saying the word and only through innuendo, subtext and images, were able to stroll past the censors and have fun at the same time. Best use of the medium for a still uptight and Puritanical American society. Simply brilliant. - mgenet

There are so many funny moments, such as George's mother screaming that he treats his body like an amusement park, Kramer going out the contest and Jerry asking if you're still master of your domain. There are some other good episodes, such as The Chinese Restaurant, The Soup Nazi, The Marine Biologist etc but this is the best.

Yes this is the best Seinfeld episode. Absolute genius. To take such a taboo subject and handle it in such a tasteful yet hilarious way is absolutely remarkable. The brilliant writing of Larry David coming up with situations like the curtain in the hospital room, the "treating his body like an amusement park", the wager in the diner, Kramer''s "I'm out! ", and so many other parts make this the most original, and absolutely number one episode.

I'm out!
Master of my domain
Queen of the castle
King of the castle

Genius! - Potbellypup2

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2 The Soup Nazi

"This episode is epic! NEXT! "

You cannot go one solid month or year without someone saying, "No soup for you! " This is what makes this episode a classic!

I love this episode it is so funny. It is probably one of the most quotable episodes as well. "No soup for you."

EVERYONE knows the quote "no soup for you" making this the most popular episode ever

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3 The Bubble Boy

"I'm sorry but the correct answer is moops. "

What a funny episode. I thought that it was so funny when George and Susan were playing trival pursuit with the bubble boy and he was being mean to them. I can't believe that at the end of the episode Kramer burned down the cabin.

One of the best episodes of any show ever!

A really funny episode

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4 The Opposite

(Episode 86, Season 5)
"Who are you, George Costanza? "
"I'm the opposite of every guy you've ever met. "
- Victoria and George

"This guy could be a little bonkos. "
- Regis Philbin, introducing Kramer

"One never knows how the gastrointestinal workings of the equine are going to function. "
- Kramer
- Robmofo

Best clip ever when George is in movie theatre!

If I have to choose only one Seinfeld, It would be this episode. George’s performance is exceptional.

5 The Gum

George appears to be losing his mind because of Lloyd Braun and the Woman on the Horse. Hilarious

The most hard laughs of any Seinfeld episode for me

The I-M-P-P-C-W... We prefer the Institute.

6 The Marine Biologist

(Episode 78, Season 5)
"Did you know that the original title for War and Peace was War, What Is It Good For? "
- Jerry

"The sea was angry that day, my friends, like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. "
- George - Robmofo

The sea was angry that day, my friends... Like an old man trying to return soup at a deli

"Is anyone here a marine biologist? "

"... like an old man trying to send soup back in a deli"

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7 The Parking Garage

(Episode 23, Season 3)
"You know, I've been issued a public urination pass by the city because of my condition. Unfortunately, my little brother ran out of the house with it this morning. Him and his friends are probably peeing all over the place. "
- Jerry - Robmofo

It has to be one of the best T.V. moments in history. It is one of those episodes that you'll never forget. Like the Chinese restaurant. You can watch it over and over and it never gets old.

One of the best episodes of Seinfeld. I like how there was bathroom humor in this episode. The episode also has some of the best quotes and memorable scenes that the show has had. definitely one of my top 5 favorite episodes.

lost in a mall parking garage and Jerry has to pee - redseagrass

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8 The Hamptons

"Significant shrinkage! "

"She thinks that it's not all that it could be when it's all that it could be and more! "

Kramer stealing lobsters, everyone seeing George's girlfriend topless but the best is Elaine's line " it shrinks how do you guys walk around with those things"

9 The Apology
10 The Comeback

If you don't vote for this, then the jerk store just called for you. The way in which the "other side of midnight" plot line was weaved into the "comeback" plot line at the end was very nice. The first time I saw it I about busted a gut when the guy said "His wife's in a coma. "

Well I had sex with your wife!
... His wife's in a coma. - MontyPython

The Contenders

11 The Puffy Shirt

Come on people this episode has the awesome scenes with George living with his parents and becoming a hand model, the low talker, and the puffy shirt on the today show.

Quotes include:(Jerry) But I don't want to be a pirate. (George's Mom) GEORGE LIKES THE BANANAS. (Elaine)You're suppose to look like a compassionate person... you look like you're going to swing in on a chandaleir. (Kramer) I just can't be with someone whose life is in complete disarray. (George's Dad) I used to have ahh siiilver dollar collection. (George) Don't worry... I won a contest. (Jerry) People were yelling out 'A vast Ye Matie, ' what the hell does that mean?

This is the most Larry David Seinfeld episode ever, period.

"but I don't wanna be a pirate! "

(Episode 66, Season 5)
"You could be the first pirate comedian. "
- Bryant Gumbel, to Jerry - Robmofo

12 The Rye

(Episode 121, Season 7)
"Let me understand. You've got the hen, the chicken and the rooster. The rooster goes with the chicken. So, who's having sex with the hen? "
- Frank - Robmofo

Kramer yelling at the horse" Rusty, Rusty Rusty"

13 The Dealership

The best Jerry...the best

14 The Junior Mint

Funniest episode ever. Iconic. Classic. - MaxPap

"How can you turn down a junior mint? It's chocolate, it's pepperment, it's delicious! It's very refreshing! " - crazyeyes56

(Episode 60, Season 4)
"Who's gonna turn down a Junior Mint? It's chocolate, it's peppermint -- it's delicious! "
- Kramer - Robmofo

15 Serenity Now

Serenity now insanity later - Aquateenhungerforce

Kramer goes in and he's like - "Don't worry Jerry, there is always next spring now if you'll excuse me... SERENITY NOww! - qwerts

Oh, my, I'll never forget Kramer flipping out, screaming, "SERENITY NOW! "
Love this episode. LOVE KRAMER.
The best ----> KRAMER

16 The Pen

This episode only is set in two buildings: a Floridian condominium, and an entertainment center.

All I said was I like the pen!

A hugely underrated episode. Jerry's parents are painfully funny as well as Jack Clompus and the rest of Phase 2 residents. STELLA!

17 The Drake

I think the episode is called "The Handicapped Spot" - tatef87

Not an episode.

18 The Little Kicks

Frank and Elaine's fight, that's all I have to say!!

(Episode 138, Season 8)
"It's more like a full-body dry heave set to music. "
- George, about Elaine's dancing in The Little Kicks - Robmofo

19 The Sniffing Accountant

" ask ME to get a pair of underwear, I'm BACK IN 2 SECONDS! "

"Here's To Feeling Good All The Time". - bigbubba2001

"... you've got the A, the B, the C, the D--- That's the BIGGEST! "
"I've Based my WHOLE LIFE on knowing that the D's the BIGGEST! "

20 The Bris

Great episode! One of the top 10.

the pigman and a crazy moyl - redseagrass

Couldn't stop laughing at the end
"Never go against the family Jerry"


21 The Boyfriend

Absolutely the best episode as it was a 1 hour jammed packed full of clever writing and antics... And included Newman and others in it as well.

And you want to be my latex salesman?

"... And you want to be my latex salesman"
- Jerry

22 The Summer of George
23 The Pez

(Episode 31, Season 3)
"Anyone who would laugh at a recital is probably some sort of lunatic anyway. I mean, only a sick, twisted mind could be that rude and ignorant. "
"Well, maybe some mental defective put something stupid on her leg. "
"Even if this so-called mental defective did put something on her leg, she's still the one who laughed. "
- Jerry and Elaine

"I don't have a good apartment for an intervention. The furniture, it's very non-confrontational. "
- Jerry - Robmofo

24 The Butter Shave
25 The Outing
26 The Slicer
27 The Merv Griffin Show

This is THE BEST. - s0ramble

Kreamer's best episode hands down.

28 The Limo
29 The Bizarro Jerry
30 The Chicken Roaster

I don't know that this is my favorite episodes (I like Soup Nazi, The Little Jerry, and a few more too), but I remember laughing out loud at the end when Kramer shouted, "Kenny's! "

Love this one. A completely underrated gem.

31 The Doorman

The Bro? Or Mansseire?

32 The Cigar Store Indian

"It's usually so crowded I hope we can a table.
It's okay I made reserva-"

"A coffee table book, about coffee tables...that's fantastic! "...followed by..."What do you do around here all day"... Elaine's boss to Elaine as he is paying Kramer for the Indian.

33 The Frogger
34 The Hot Tub
35 The Pick
36 The Dinner Party
37 The Chinese Restaurant

Sooo funny! - MaxPap

38 The Strike
39 The Fusilli Jerry

The assman's back in town!

Kramer: Assman? these plates don't belong to me, I'm not the assman, I think there's been a mistake.
Counter girl: What's your name again?
Kramer: Cosmo Kramer.
Counter girl: Cosmo Kramer! You are the assman!
Kramer: No I'm not the assman.
Counter girl: Well, as far as the state of New York is concerned, you are!

40 The Jimmy

Jimmy refers to himself as the jimmy and Kramer is mentally challenged after visiting the dentist.

One of the best! Elaine in the gym, Kramer in the taxi and at the awards.

41 The Mom & Pop Store
42 The Finale (2)

In my opinion, it was actually the worst episode of the series. Nothing made sense. - MaxPap

This episode sums up about all of the other episodes. - thebigdiesel

Jackie Chiles is hilarious.

43 The Yada Yada

"My ex-boyfriend came over last night and yada yada I am very tired today"

This is the best episode ever

44 The English Patient


Elaine: I HATE IT!
Crowd: Shhh
Elaine: GO TO HELL!

45 The Susie

"Believe it or not, George isn't home, where could I be? "
One of my favorite episodes

46 The Burning

You stole my Jesus fish!

47 The Chinese Woman
48 The Statue
49 The Blood

Jerry gets filled with Kramer and Newman and George has sex with pastrami. BEST EPISODE EVER

50 The Dog
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List Stats

1,000 votes
64 listings
11 years, 350 days old

Top Remixes (6)

1. The Gum
2. The Apology
3. The Comeback
1. The Merv Griffin Show
2. The Slicer
3. The Rye
1. The Soup Nazi
2. The Sniffing Accountant
3. The Butter Shave

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