Top Ten Most Underrated Hilarious Quotations

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 "I believe we're having the sort of day that would make Mother Teresa kick babies." - Dirk Gently

I can't remember the last time I laughed so hard. - PositronWildhawk

2 "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did; in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car." - Bob Monkhouse

... And so did I. Love this. Really funny. Rather like Bob Monkhouse himself. Brilliant! - Britgirl

This is so funny! I told a couple of my cousins this one and they both laughed - Ajkloth

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3 "If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it's got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." - Prince Phillip

Love every single one of his quotes. - beatles

4 "Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening' and then proceed to tell you why it isn't." - Anonymous
5 "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams

I adore this quote because it is hilarious and also motivational. - PositronWildhawk

6 "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie

This lady's smart. Pity she died in 1976. Imagine how much smarter she would be now! - Britgirl

7 "Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we." - George W. Bush

I laughed so hard at this when I read it I chocked on my juice. I had to read it twice to make sure I read it correctly. I was considering voting for either this or the evening news one but that is more fact than funny, still funny though - Danielsun182

How much of a gusto would he have had before he realised what he said? - PositronWildhawk

8 (When Asked by His Nephew If He Was the Greatest Englishman Ever) "Yes. Now Bugger Off." - Winston Churchill
9 "I have often wanted to drown my troubles, but I can't get my wife to go swimming." - Jimmy Carter
10 "Misers aren't fun to live with, but they make wonderful ancestors." - David Brenner

As much as I love this one, I can see the flaws. - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 "The tangy bowl of Cheerios was NOT worth the stitches." - Amy Farrah Fowler
12 "It's always a good time" - Adam Young
13 "Touch the book. LICK THE BOOK..." - Tom Green (Clone High)
14 "These cannibals are on to something, I taste delicious" - Stan (Gravity Falls)
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List StatsUpdated 24 Sep 2017

14 listings
3 years, 302 days old

Top Remixes

1. "An archaeologist is the best husband a woman can have; the older she gets, the more interested he is in her." - Agatha Christie
2. (When Asked by His Nephew If He Was the Greatest Englishman Ever) "Yes. Now Bugger Off." - Winston Churchill
3. "When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did; in his sleep. Not yelling and screaming like the passengers in his car." - Bob Monkhouse
Britgirl
1. "I believe we're having the sort of day that would make Mother Teresa kick babies." - Dirk Gently
2. "If it has four legs and it's not a chair, if it's got two wings and it flies but is not an aeroplane, and if it swims and it's not a submarine, the Cantonese will eat it." - Prince Phillip
3. "I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by." - Douglas Adams
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