Top Ten Unromantic Things to Say to Her

The Top Ten

1 When God was making you, he got bored halfway and was like "Screw it."

This could be viewed in two ways. If she was really expecting you to say something romantic she would view it as by the time God was half way done creating her, he realized she was already too close to perfection. - Lindo01

Hey, everyone looks different, right? - funnyuser

2 If you were to look yourself at a mirror, you would have seven years of bad luck
3 I googled you and all it showed up was a picture of a Blobfish
4 You look beautiful, on a Opposite Day
5 The fear about you is that you can become a supermodel and still look like a Governess
6 You've got the eye of the tiger but you've also got the body of a hippo
7 I love you but please, if we get a car, you're not driving

Especially my precious truck. It's MY truck, and I like it intact

8 My love for you is like diarrhea, I can't hold it on much longer

Laugh out loud! I love it so much!

This one is genius. Why is it so low down? - PositronWildhawk

9 You are so fit... for the job at the Subway, now make me a sub
10 If you fixed your eyebrows, put some stuff to cover some scars and minus the eye, cheekbone, weight and stuff, you look fine.

The Contenders

11 I am able to play connect the dots by the amount of pimples you have on your face
12 Give me some butt
13 How many bones do you have in your body?
14 I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.
15 Thanks for coming with me to dinner. Also, I only accept cash.
16 That dress looks amazing... if you were a 32-inch waist.
17 How about some ham? It's only 3 days over the expiration date.
18 All right, I'll pay... Just as long as you order off the value menu.
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