Top Ten Utterly Preposterous Political/Social Issues Lists That May Be Created On TheTopTens

PositronWildhawk
We have so many of these from so many users, and they have got to be some of the most dumbfounded things here. We've had ridiculous rants about deforestation with mathematical contradictions, propositions to rid the world of right-wing politics and possibly turn every free country into a communist dictatorship, and to reverse the gender bias in society instead of ending it. What's more, there's no way for you to criticise them without being demonised by the creator. These lists are dumb but utterly comical, so what will we get next? Here are some wacko ideas that might just happen. Don't you just love these morons?

The Top Ten

1 Top Ten Reasons Why Abortions Should Be Illegal On A Martian Colony

Abortions don't work in zero gravity, and it results in copious health problems, like uterine burn and bronchitis! And not to mention that you're killing off Martians! Killing Earth-born fetuses is fine, but to make Martians die in solitary confinement like they did in the Holocaust, is not only an act of genocide, but also going to worsen diplomacy between Earth and Mars! Curse you, Obama! If you want to control your body, ladies, do it on Earth! - PositronWildhawk

If only Aliens have better knowledge to our faith in believing the flying spaghetti monster- god - CerealGuy

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2 Top Ten Reasons Why Pepsi Is A Threat To Freedom

Pepsi makes billions from you all getting them for reduced prices at KFC! Do you know what they'll do with those billions? That's right! They'll buy Africa and force the citizens of Zimbabwe and Kenya to extract oils from their testicles to make them go white! Not only will this make South African civil rights worse, but all that oil will make everyone in America black, making their politics worse still! Remember what happened when America first got a black president?! We went bankrupt! America and Africa are gonna be just as economically damaged as they are racist! To stop this? Drink Coke instead! - PositronWildhawk

I actually just posted a social issue list yesterday. Nice to see somebody's able to make this topic kinda fun! Oh and "Pepsi Is A Threat To Freedom"? I think I might just actually make that a real list! Maybe it can be done... - ThatStrangeKid42

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3 Top Ten Reasons Why Your Shop-Bought Dog Will Die Young

Do you have any idea how pet stores train their dogs? The guy who owns the pet store is an evil homophobe bent on credit fraud! Those dogs are forced to massacre people if they speak funny and say nice things about other men, which will just get them put down! Not to mention that those dogs lose their hearts, and you see this happen in violent video games which also come from the mainstream media, and they'll only lose more hearts when they step on landmines and chase kittens over train tracks, and a heartless dog is a dangerous dog! - PositronWildhawk

4 Top Ten Reasons Why The Asians Are Hindering Evolution

Before you buy the latest Toshiba laptop or Nintendo 3DS, think about what effect this has on your immune system! Humankind is progressing the most as the Chinese build more powerful transistors and nukes, which is taking all our energy away from natural selection, which we need to win the war against AIDS and Space Monsters! Face it, people, we are not a cult of robots! Slash your arm with a cleaver and see for yourself! The more time you spend detailing your lives on Instagram, the more we're becoming biologically inferior, and one day, the tables will be turned! The Asians need to stop looking at us through a slit, and we all need to open our eyes! - PositronWildhawk

They're hindering our evolution! And we should take them and put them to my van and we should vote CG for Presidunz of the United Idio- I mean United States - CerealGuy

5 Top Ten Ways We Know That Protein Was Faked By The Government

Meat is murder, but nobody cares. Why? People have been told that they can't take up a balanced set of nutrients from a salad, so they tell them that they have to kill animals. The REAL reason why the government is doing this is so they can make cold, dirty money from human-chicken Frankenstein monsters, or whatever animal the human ate for most of his/her life! Protein was made up so they could trick us all into forming an undead army! Why do you think Lord Lucan and Glenn Miller vanished without a trace? They consumed so much foreign DNA that it destroyed them both. Government labs were meant to resurrect the animals deep inside, as a sick misuse of science! - PositronWildhawk

If you meant to ridicule the reasons to be a vegetarian list, then sorry it's a poor attempt and I didn't laugh. The list was pretty reasonable and was made with a good intent, only that some of the arguments were unsatisfactory, but then TTP is young, so you can excuse her for that. The only really worst list she made was "the killing of conservativists" one. The rest were okay. - Kiteretsunu

6 Top Ten Reasons Why Nukes Will Help Humans And Animals To Coexist

Nuclear weapons have harmed all life equally in their wake, but with enough uranium in our atmosphere, we will all mutate the same way and practically have the same DNA. This is just the start of a society where we have no reason to prejudice rats and mosquitoes, but we need more nukes to make this happen faster! Of course, the kind of mutation we're considering could have a ridiculous number of outcomes, and not just this specific one, but just as there's a universally small but finite probability of a broken egg repairing itself, this can happen. Let's head towards a radioactive utopia! But first, ban Conservatism. This political system will never stop changing. - PositronWildhawk

7 Top Ten Reasons Why Everyone Should Move Away From The Arctic

Save our polar bears! Stop making humans live near them and building estates through the ice caps, and let them flourish while we move global warming elsewhere! It's not like that's built around the greenhouse effect! We're under bigger threats, nonetheless! To stop space monsters from invading us, the Earth needs a tin foil hat, and we can only place that above the Arctic because it's stable under Earth's magnetic field, and polar bear habitats will only melt faster under sunlight. In short, harm them differently! - PositronWildhawk

8 Top Ten Ways In Which The Bible Causes Health Problems

The world is fraught with disease, and people expect God to cure all of them. If there is a God, there's no way to predict what He will do, and for all we know, society will turn chaotic! Also, have you noticed how old the Bible is? Why would anyone go near that thing without six layers of neoprene protection?! With all this paranoia about God, people are slowly but surely becoming insane, and nobody's mental wellbeing will ever be the same again! - PositronWildhawk

Unfortunately, there are some people who believe this one would be a good and valid list.

9 Top Ten Reasons Why We Should Exchange Cow Milk For Human Milk

Cow milk contains cow DNA, and eating things from other animals is wrong, I tell you! Human milk enables human babies to function, and it is that that will make us stronger! This also means that the rate of human reproduction can ethically increase to good use, and these better bred humans shall lead to a more powerful society! Not to mention, attempted milking can no longer be called sex offense. - PositronWildhawk

10 Top Ten Reasons Why Obesity Enhancement Should Be Taught In Girls' Schools

The world's men need to realise that girls are not naturally thin. As long as all the girls in the world eat exactly the same amount in a given time, they'll be no more or less used or objectified, and All About that Bass would never've been written. - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 Top Ten Reasons Why Jar Jar Binks Should Be President In 2016 V 1 Comment
12 Top Ten Ways That Humans Can Revive the Amazon With Lasers
13 Top Ten Reasons Why Llamas Will Help Us Never Have A War Again
14 Top Ten Ways We Can Save the Maldives from Being Submerged by the Sea With Our Bare Hands
15 Top Ten Ways to Solve Apple Inc.'s Obsession of Money With Llamas
16 Top Ten Ways That Gold Could Save People's Lives
17 Top Ten Reasons Why Prostitution in Utah and Carpeted Floors in People's Houses are Why Corruption in Belarus is on the Rise
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Top Remixes

1. Top Ten Reasons Why Abortions Should Be Illegal On A Martian Colony
2. Top Ten Reasons Why Pepsi Is A Threat To Freedom
3. Top Ten Reasons Why Your Shop-Bought Dog Will Die Young
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