Top Ten Ways to Annoy a Conservative

The Right Wing Republicans of Texas do not approve.

The Top Ten

1 Play the Rainbow Road Level In Mario Kart

It's a level in a video game. Sure it's rainbow themed but the level has nothing to do with homosexuality! And yes, I'm a conservative. - RiverClanRocks

I don't mind playing on this course, but I keep falling off the road whenever I make a turn. Conservatives, however, would be more offended though. - ethanmeinster

Ahh! Too many colors! Back in my day, everything was black and white, and since I'm conservative, it should stay that way!

Offended is a synonym for liberal. You all are NOT conservative

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2 Teach Them 7th Grade Biology

Biology can explain if the chicken or egg came first.

If the theory of evolution is true, then chickens evolved from another species way back when because the first organisms were unicellular prokaryotes which evolved into more complex life forms.

The definition of separate species is two species that are unable to mate.

If the species of chicken is unable to mate with any other species, that means the first chicken evolved as a result of reproductive isolation and at one point was unable to mate with the parent species.

This means that genetic mutations or recombination caused the change in variety that made the chicken unable to mate with other species.

Therefore the egg came first and from it hatched the very first chicken.


They'll just cross out the evolution section and replace it with "intelligent design". - ethanmeinster

Says the person who belongs to a group of people who think there are 76 genders. - RockFashionista

3 Ask If They Think the Earth Is Flat
4 Tell Them That They Lost the Civil War

It WAS lost by democrats, but back then, democrats were conservative and republicans were liberal.

Make the Republican Party liberal again!

150 years later, people like me are still talking about it. - ethanmeinster

5 Say That Ronald Reagan Was Liberal

Reagan did not "legalize" abortions as governor of California. He signed legislation he believed would allow for abortion under very few circumstances.
He fell for the "health of the mother" canard, which quickly morphed into abortion-on-demand, under the rubric of "medical need."
Reagan admitted he was duped, and deeply regretted signing the legislation.
Reagan as governor and president NEVER supported gun control, even after being SHOT.
After leaving office, and with Alzheimer's disease affecting his judgement, he advised Bush 41, after Bush had blocked importation of certain Chinese firearms, that Bush had "done the right thing."
One should not assert things categorically when one has little idea what one is talking about.

6 Diss Fox News
7 Play "Highway to Hell" Really Loud On a Radio

While you're at it, play anything by Slayer, Gwar, Marilyn Manson, Slipknot, and ANY death metal band.

Play some Rammstein songs while you're at it.

That won't annoy me much. Even Rammstein won't annoy me though I'm a conservative. But please, don't play Marilyn Manson!

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8 Read the First Amendment to Them

It clearly states that there's freedom of religion and freedom of speech in the government. I wonder how those Islamophobic, theocratic conservatives would react... - ethanmeinster

9 Tell Them That They'd Look Good In a Hijab

And that they'd be a good fit for the Taliban- wait. That's a TAD too far... - Turkeyasylum

No they look better in a bikini. - AlphaQ

10 Start a Religious Flame War

I'm just gonna stay out of it and eat some popcorn. - ethanmeinster

Mm mm! I love me some religious wars! - Icantbelieveitsnotbutter

The Contenders

11 Kiss Someone of the Same Sex in Front of Them
12 Read Them the God Delusion

They also like reading "On the Origin of Species" by Charles Darwin. (Sarcasm intended) - ethanmeinster

Fifty million years on, chimpanzees are still chimpanzees.
How can this be?
The GOD delusion?

13 Give Money to the Poor

I'm pretty sure anyone regardless of whether they're liberal or conservative has given money to the poor at some point in their life. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

What?! Bahaha! Republicans give more money to the poor than democrats do. It's been proven! My parents donate more to private charity than Obozo does each year.

I'm a steadfast conservative in CA, and I donate to the poor.

14 Wear an Antichrist Superstar T-Shirt
15 Force Them to Watch Gory Horror Movies
16 Tell Them That God Listens to Rock and Roll

I know a billboard that says "God listens to Slayer."

Is this blasphemy or it just means God allows it?

17 Become an Atheist

Hey, this is America, where you can be as clueless as you choose.
Go for it.

18 Give Away Free South Park Stickers
19 Wear a Slayer Hat
20 Tell Dirty Jokes
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