Top Ten Ways to Annoy a Zombie

The Top Ten

1 Offer them the most brainless person you can find and suggest that they try a lighter diet from now on

It can't be good for you, eating all that raw meat and fattening up. If you were to eat brains more responsibly, I'd recommend using something much less saturated, maybe with a dash of coriander. I think Delia Smith has a good book on it.

Here you go Zombie, have Kim K

2 Lecture them about how ghosts and vampires are much cooler undead creatures than zombies, and how it must really suck to have been reborn as a zombie

Vampires only get a bad rep because of Twilight. The Count from Sesame Street is so much more lifelike.

Hah! Even ghosts are spirits of dead people.

3 Rip out one of their organs and say, "Thanks bro, I needed one of these!"

Just perfect for when you can't afford a donated kidney.

4 Ask if they look for brains because they were brainless morons when they were alive

5 Rip off their heads and run away with them

This is the only one that can actually save you from one... unless you do it in front of his friends

And put it on the wall as a decoration!

6 Ask them when the last time they felt so alive was

7 Try to get them to do the foxtrot with you

Hey, I tried this the last time I saw a zombie. Turns out he was a better sloppy dancer than I am!

8 Offer to brush their teeth for them

9 Pretend to be one

If you ever want to escape from a zombie, just pretend to be one. They don't have any brains so they can't tell the difference between a zombie and a human.

This list is not about escaping zombies, is about how to annoying it

10 Bite them and turn them back into a human

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