Top Ten Ways to Avoid Being Sexually Assaulted In Prison If You Accidentally Drop the Soap

The Top Ten

1 Have a back-up soap


2 Maybe use body wash instead
3 Squat down instead of bending over
4 Have your rear facing away from everyone
5 Wear your boxers while showering
6 Be last in line
7 Get a cell with a shower installed in it
8 Have a guard monitor everyone
9 Have a shank or shiv on you
10 Pretend to have a deadly disease

Those creepy convicts will probably want to go with you! - PositronWildhawk

The Contenders

11 Do not wipe your ass
12 Kill the other prisoners
13 Wear a butt plug
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