Top 10 Ways That Dugongs Are Better Than People

Wake up, world! We need to show everyone that these dugongs are better than actual people!

Note: This list is a parody of those "Ways That Men/Women Are Better Than Women/Men" lists. If you don't know what a dugong is, Google it, I'm too busy racially profiling filthy human scum to explain them.

The Top Ten

1 Dugongs are grey, people aren't

Obviously the colour of your skin defines you as a being and determines your worth as a good creature, and if you aren't of grey colour, piss off, you're a horrible person who deserves to be suffocated by coral, AMIRITE? - ArchAces

My skin is pink, am I a horrible sentient being? - FladevousEniker

2 The word "dugong" sounds cooler

Roughly translated into the ancient language of Latin, "hu" means "dumb", and "ma" means "someone who should be killed". These are the root words for "human", which sounds so horrible!
But the root words for "dugong" are du (majesty) and gon (aw yea humans suck compared to you), and it rolls off the tongue quicker!
I should know this, because this info came from the first Google result. - ArchAces

3 Dugongs live underwater

Yeah! Take that, humans who are a different type of mammal and lack the advantages other creatures have! Obviously, dugongs are at 3 points, while the stupid humans are at -3.14159265359 points. - ArchAces

Plus They're Pretty Much Like Sea Cows When We Are Land Idiots - Seventies-Music-Fan

4 Dugongs don't have Nicki Minaj

Nah, we don't have that crap. I know that dugongs would not even be able to speak, let alone sing and rap, but I don't care because I'm using arguments that I agree with and anyone who retorts gets added to my Worst Users list in my description. - ArchAces

5 Dugongs are vulnerable to extinction

Therefore, that makes them beyond criticism, like people with autism! - ArchAces

6 Dugongs don't take selfies

No, they just have someone else take the photo with the subject duckfacing. Much better, eh? - ArchAces

7 Humans have rap, dugongs don't

Rap is bad, because I listened to half of a Nicki Minaj single, so therefore all rap is bad. Dugongs don't have that problem of annoying TR-808 beats over lyrics I didn't listen to because I was busy devising a plan to wipe out the human race with a nuke. - ArchAces

8 You can pat a dugong on the head

I've never tried patting one, because my interactions with them got as close as using a dugong body pillow, but I heard they don't go to the police and whine about it. - ArchAces

9 Dugongs can't go online and make idiotic lists like this

I mean, they have no opposable thumbs, for crying out loud! - ArchAces

10 Dugongs don't get targeted by the nuke I made

Self explanatory. Also, you might have noticed a bright white flash by now. Don't worry about it...you don't need to. It'll all be over soon, human race, and a new generation consisting only of dugongs will build a great utopia out of the scraps of your puny world.

Wait, what's this about fallout shelters? And dugongs DON'T have them? - ArchAces

"Quick, we must put a dome around America, SO NOTHING CAN COME IN OR OUT! "

- Tonald Drump, 2016 - WonkeyDude98

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