Top Ten Ways of Explaining Certain Holidays

The Top Ten

1 Summer Holidays - Six weeks of no school but get bored during the middle, then complain about school at the end.

Also the time of year where people celebrate painfully humid weather and get more drunk. See my sarcastic overview of summer blog for details.

I get bored during the ENTIRE summer

2 April Fools Day - Trust no one, not even your friends, family, the news, the teacher, the internet, Youtube, Twitter, TV or yourself

I call it the day when simple prank ideas don't work. Because everyone knows what day it is.

3 New Year - The year after that were people tell a promise that's not going to be kept and one step closer to their deserved death

4 Valentine's Day - The day to remind that you're single and our dearest user Keyson declares once more his relationship with Britgirl

My birthday is on valentines day so its worse for me...

5 Bonfire Night - The day of a faulty plan that somehow gets turned into a supposed fun holiday with a risk of burning, death and an insult to the Guy Fawke's crew

6 Independence Day - The day where crimes are at zero ***** given

And the day in which the United Kingdom restrains itself from saying, "America, if you want freedom with fewer terms and conditions, you should've stayed with us."

7 Black Friday - A day which needs to be retold as a horror movie

This should be called 'the day where people go crazy over stuff that goes on sale"

Well, it certainly is paranormal to me.

8 Easter - Charles Darwin's theory of evolution has taken one step further for the Easter Bunny

9 Christmas - A holiday which features a possible pedophile, bunch of slaves and animal hospitality

10 Halloween - The only time of year where entering someone's house is acceptable

The Contenders

11 Chinese New Year - Asians Are forbidden to get haircuts or clean the house, yet partying all day long is encouraged. Also, kids get free money!!!

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