Ways to Harm Skyward Sword Zelda

The girl has already been kidnapped, tortured, and had her soul sucked out but that's not enough. She needs more harm. I loved to see Ghirahim and Demise hurting her. I hate her for crying tears of joy in front of non relatives instead of suppressing those tears because crying in front of non relatives is embarrassing, I know how that feels. And she needs to get harmed for teasing my favorite character, Link by unapologetically pushing him off a statue and jumping onto his loftbird rambunctiously.

The Top Ten

1 Tell Her that Link is Better

For all Link's flaws, he doesn't go around messing with his friends unless the player wants him to. The only established flaws he has is he can make a few sarcastic comeback lines if the player wants him to and is lazy. Oh, and he was a bit unnecessarily rude to this mogma who was only trying to help him get his things back from the Bokoblins but that's not as bad as impulsively jumping into someone's loftbird like a rambunctious idiot or pushing them off high places, two things that Zelda has done. Zelda needs to learn a thing or two from Link and not do those kinds of things. - Pinkarray

2 Take Link Away from Her

I would take my favorite character away from Zelda. First off, I never wanted them together, not any game I played, not ever. And when they are together, Zelda would just tease Link like she did in BOTW. They are not a good ship. Link needs to be with someone better like Malon or Mipha or something. - Pinkarray

3 Have Yandere-Chan Come and Hurt Her

She can slash and beat up that biotch Zelda with all her easter eggs and weapons. - Pinkarray

4 Make Goanimate Videos About Her

I can make Goanimate videos where people abuse her. - Pinkarray

5 Pull Her Hair

...and tie it up with someone else's. - Pinkarray

6 Shave Her Hair

This girly kid may start to look like a boy. People would probably mistake her for a boy! I hate her hair. - Pinkarray

7 Throw Gum at Her Hair
8 Spit on Her

Maybe on her face. - Pinkarray

9 Give Her a Black Eye
10 Punch Her

The Contenders

11 Spank Her

Why does this exist?

12 Have the gargoyle from conker's bad fur day throw her off a cliff

He can "Discuss things of another nature" with her. Zelda would be approaching him and then BAM! He'll squish her and throw her off! - Pinkarray

13 Dismember Her
14 Force Her to Eat a Peeping Bug

She can get sick and puff out purple smoke like Calcifer from Howl's Moving Castle did - Pinkarray

15 Put Her in Cuphead Bosses
16 Pull on Her Ear
17 Send Her to Camp Crystal Lake
18 Sew Her Lips to Ganondorf's Mouth
19 Perform a Falcon Punch on Her
20 Glue Her Tongue Against a Sub-Zero Pole
21 Freeze Her
22 Kick Her
23 Launch Her Into Space
24 Hurt her hands

Maybe stab them or crush them for holding Link's hand! Link is mine and if her hands were hurt, she probably wouldn't hold my Link's hands again! - Pinkarray

I hated how they walked out holding hands after Amy triangle lip got out of the crystal! That's why I want to beat her up and hurt her hands! - Pinkarray

25 Have a wrecking ball come and smash her

"I came out like a Wrecking Ball! " The Wrecking ball will smash her off a ledge. - Pinkarray

26 Have Link Kidnap Her

Link would trap Zelda into thinking that they're dating,then have her hands tied,then Link places her in front of a Moblin,kills the Moblin,then it falls on her,and Zelda will be breathless.MWAHAHAA! β˜ΊπŸ˜†πŸ˜ˆπŸ˜ˆπŸŽƒπŸŽƒπŸ"₯

27 Squish Her

By sitting on her stomach.

Stomp her feet and flatten her - Pinkarray

28 Overstuff Her Until She's About to Blow Up

Maybe we can get Ralph to feed her pancakes until she's as fat as the bunny - Pinkarray

29 Throw Her in a Cage

Then she will not go to see Link and maybe there can be some wild animals in that cage.

30 Throw a Beehive at Her

And have a thousand bees sting her.

31 Choke Her
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