Top Ten Ways to Troll the Internet

imacg4
Trolling is like a sport. You must learn it well to win it. Here are some suggestions.

The Top Ten

1 Claim that Evil Things are Fine

Like saying Justin Beiber is fine?

Go to videos about tragic or taboo things, like animal torture, rape, or incest, and post a comment like, "Why is everybody so worked up, I think it's perfectly fine." Add fake anecdotes about how you have done things like it in the past. This may be hard if you are not a horrible person. - imacg4

2 Call Alternative Music Listeners Stereotypical

Find music videos for alternative types of music, and assume that every single viewer other than you is the stereotypical listener to whatever genre or music it is, and bash them like there's no tomorrow. For example, if you were to go to a Hawthorne Heights video, make a point of calling all fans of the band "emo," and branch out from there. Also, make sure to repeatedly state how horrible the band or artist is. People tend to get their panties in quite a bunch when you do this. - imacg4

3 Side with the Minority

Find videos with topics that many people feel very strongly about, like religion, and choose to side with the minority, whether you truly feel that way or not. Defend your opinion like it's your new born child, using as much completely incorrect information as possible. Make sure you bash the opposing view as much as possible. - imacg4

4 Keep Trolling

Even if you have blatantly been proven wrong, refuse to admit it and keep on trolling. This can be done by providing more obviously incorrect or fake information to support your opinion, or just brushing the defeat off like they were wrong, or it never even happened. Whatever your choice is, it will most likely further enrage the trollee. - imacg4

5 Vulgar is Luck-based Trolling

Including an extreme amount of vulgar language and insults aimed at particular ethnic groups can either just fan the flames and produce even more trolling success, or make people dismiss you as not being worth it. - imacg4

6 Wishing Death Means Success

If various painful or gruesome deaths have been wished upon you, then you know your job as a YouTube troll has been done beautifully. - imacg4

7 Be Creative

Being creative is the most important part of troll.

Example: Troll: I bet you can't guess what my computer is. If you can, I will give you 800 dollars! Victim: Okay. Hm... Maybe Linux? Troll: Good job! I will give you the money! Come visit me! Victim: Okay then. Where do you live? Troll: In (somewhere ridiculously far from the victim's country). Be rich! Victim: What the heck?! - TheGoldenRifle

If nobody responds to your trolling attempts, it is most likely because people have seen your approach several times before. For example, hundreds, possibly thousands of losers have attempted to troll YouTube by going to a My Chemical Romance video and ranting about how all members of the band are homosexual. While there is still the occasional war between My Chemical Romance fans who would defend the band with everything they've got and trolls, anybody that has looked through more than five pages of comments for any one of their videos on YouTube will see that most insults of this sort are ignored, simply because fans have seen comments like them a million times and have accepted that the opinion is widely shared. What I'm saying is, try to be a bit more creative. - imacg4

8 Humor Helps Trolling

If you actually have the belief or opinion that you are centering your trolling around, being funny should not be hard. In my opinion, using larger vocabulary just makes things funnier. I don't know if other people feel that way, and I don't know why I do, but it does. Sometimes a funny idea can be made unfunny because you write it in a way that is obnoxious or makes you sound ignorant. Humor can be a very useful weapon for a troll. - imacg4

9 Use Multiple Accounts
10 Be a Funny Troll Not a Hate Filled Troll

The Contenders

11 Don't Become a Trollee

On rare occasions a troll will become a trollee. If signs of this occour, abandon all hope for that trolling attempt, unless you think you are smart enough to get yourself out of it and emerge on top once more. But you most likely are not. - imacg4

12 Become a Grammar Nazi
13 Be in Control

Get a high position somewhere (A forum, a friends website, your own, etc.), wait for it to be noticed, then start being an ass without getting fired.

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