Top 10 Weird Comments to Make as a "Wine Expert"

You're a wine expert and you decided to say these to people that wants to find the best wine out there and...
The Top Ten
1 This wine taste like something that came from a grape and this has a liquid feel

Of course wine are made from grapes and is liquid! You "wine expert"

2 This wine taste very good and watery plus it's madely sophisticated by God and distributed to humans equally unlike the other capitalist wines that capitalist folks taste, you should try it out
3 The label of this wine is quite artsy & abstract so this must taste good and it gives you the Picasso feel
4 This wine taste great but I'm going to call it bland since it's cheap and cheap thing sucks because I'm a truly rich man living in a box outside the pub and my clothes is just something I found on the dumpster, yeah
5 What is wine?! Is it a type of pee?! Or is it a country?!
6 Mam you're totally going to love it! I heard that person who made this had poured blood and stuffing semen stained tissues inside the bottle when watching to anime so that's neglible anyway
7 This wine is evil! No grapes should be harmed for our wine! That is grape abuse! Whoever made this should be in jail right now!

Yet the proclaimed grape right activist still drink wine to this day

8 I love this wine but the person who made this is not French or Italian, the person who made this has not reached my expectation
9 But first I need a man/woman from a 3rd world countries to volunteer to taste this out, they won't mind it's not clean water

Instead of clean water, 3rd world folks should definitely try out wine!

10 This wine gives me autism, cancer, ebola, HIV, malaria, suicide thoughts and Vietnam flashbacks

The wine expert must have experience tough times in the jungles of Vietnam

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