Top Ten Weirdest Criticisms to Give to Movies

Please hire me Rotten Potatoes. Wait, you're tomatoes?
The Top Ten
1 Halloween was just a blind janitor all along, just admit it. The dude is more elaborate than Lex Luthor but yet he can't kill this one person who has a balance of an ostrich who got done breaking their own foot.
2 Twilight is pretty much porn for six year olds. Also, every single vampire in the movie looks like Michael Jackson but with stupid haircuts.

Well, who would you rather looked after your kids?

Very much an oxymoron in the first sentence.

3 I haven't watched the movie but just by the title, I'm just offended. White Men Can't Jump? I'm white but I can jump, why is it generalizing that all white men can't leap up? I'm disgusted! - Politically Correct Paul
4 I hate that Paddington bear ever since he gave me that God awful Marmite sandwich crap. I hope for a sequel were he gets shot down by hunters with rifles and get spit roasted on a mantlepeice.
5 The only thing that's scary about Paranormal Activity is why on earth would you want to record every part of you house? It's not like you're getting robbed, this house is haunted. It's already robbed, you should burn the whole house down!
6 Nightmare On Elm Street made me sick that I didn't have insomnia. Also, why the fedora? Is the movie sponsored by MLG and Doritos products? This movie is for sellouts!
7 The only part that would have made Ratatouille better is if they had more waffles in the movie. I know it's set in France but you can't be telling me there's no reason to have waffles in France? FAIL!
8 So what I'm getting at is that Luke Skywalker is screaming his head off after finding out Darth Vader was his father because he just got done doing his sister at the bar counter. Also, my German cousin figured that plot twist out on his first viewing.
9 I just got done watching selections of sex scenes in Fifty Shades of Grey. No offense but I find videos of childbirth more engaging and erotic than that movie. Also the book was based off a Twilight fan fiction so I'm just going to burn it to Breaking Daw
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