Top Ten Weirdest Facts About Easter

Bunnies, rabbits, and colored eggs, oh my; but how do they all tie into Easter you might ask, well I'll tell you, even though you probably won't like most of it's painfully pegan answers... The Top Ten Weirdest Facts About Easter, let's get hopping.
The Top Ten
1 Some people think the coloring of eggs is based off human sacrifice

Although other sources I've found beg to differ, (I'm guessing to hopefully soften the blow a bit) it appears that the original origins of coloring eggs shockingly all tie back to an ancient form of pagan human sacrifice. Shocking yes? In which, (mostly children), were killed, and then eggs were dipped in their blood, obviously staining them, bright blood red. Have fun coloring your eggs this year with that knowledge in mind...

Edit: I'm afraid admin is changing my list items again. Ruined this list.

that's a little morbid. Great list, Evan!

Wow, that’s just insanity. It doesn’t look a thing like jesus.

...but does it talk like a gentleman?

2 The largest chocolate bunny ever weighed over 9,000 pounds and was made in Brazil

"Vegeta, what does the scouter say about that bunny's weight level?"
"It's over 9,000!"
"What? 9,000?!"

That a LOT of chocolate

3 It has little to do with Christianity

Other than Good Sunday being mashed together with it, Easter is almost all purely pegan practices cleverly disguised as a third day, Lord and savior resurrection celebration.

And that's really sad

4 The bunnies are theorized to symbolize fertility

Well obviously they don't lay or hatch from cute colored little eggs, so they had to tie into it somehow.

5 The largest Easter egg hunt ever was held in Florida

Where reportedly: Over 9,000 children searched for over 500,000 eggs in only single big Easter egg hunt. That's a lot of eggs. Way too many eggs to be exact.

Don’t believe this.

6 Easter was named after Ishtar or Eostre

Ishtar, the goddess of war, love, and sex. Or Eostre, the West Germanic Goddess of Spring. Take your pick.

I always thought it was named after the Eastern Catholic Church

7 Americans consume more than 16 million jelly beans during Easter

I'd greatly appreciate if someone would do the math for me. How many calories do us fat Americans consume?

8 It is a heavily pagan holiday

About as bad as Christmas and Halloween pegan wise if you want to believe it...

9 People celebrate Easter despite not being religious

Similar to how millions of non-Christians still celebrate and take off on Christmas I'm guessing...

10 More than 1.5 million Cadbury Creme Eggs are produced every day
The Contenders
11 Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer was once the White House Easter Bunny

Yes, you read that right. Former White House Press Secretary Sean Spicer, was once the Easter Bunny 🐇 (Courtesy of Donald Trump)

12 The Ten Commandments is shown at Easter time despite the fact that the movie has nothing to do with Jesus
13 The Easter Bunny legend began in Germany
14 Instead of the The Easter Bunny, Switzerland has an Easter Cuckoo
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