Top Ten Weirdest and Funniest Out of Context Quotes from Song of Songs/Song of Solomon in the Holy Bible

King Solomon was truly one of the greatest poets of his time...
The Top Ten
1 I wish you were like a brother to me. I wish my mother's breasts had nursed you. Then if I found you outside, I could kiss you. No one would look down on me.

Sweet home Alabama! Where the skies are so blue!

Sweet home Alabama! Lord I'm comin' home to you!

2 The woman says to the King, "Under the apple tree I woke you up. That's where your mother became pregnant with you. She went into labor, and you were born there."

So romantic and dreamy am I right?

3 Your navel is a rounded goblet; it lacks no blended beverage. Your waist is a heap of wheat, set about with lilies.

Heap waist and goblet navel, the king is getting all the single ladies with compliments such as these.

4 King Solomon, I love you. So tell me where you take care of your flock. Tell me where you rest your sheep at noon. Why should I have to act like a prostitute near the flocks of your friends?

That's a mighty good question. Why should she have to act like a prostitute near the flocks of his friends?

5 The woman's brothers say, "We have a little sister. Her breasts are still small. What should we do for our sister when she gets engaged?"

These brothers should really be investigated...

6 While the king is at his table, my spikenard sends forth its fragrance. A bundle of myrrh is my beloved to me. That lies all night between my breasts.
7 Your voice is so sweet. Your face is so lovely. Catch the foxes for us. Catch the little foxes. They destroy our vineyards.

Well that certainty escalated quickly...

8 Your nose is like the towering mountains of Lebanon that face the city of Damascus.

My girl's giving Pinocchio a run for his money.

9 You are graceful as a palm tree. Your breasts are sweet as the freshest fruit. I said, "I will climb the palm tree. I'll take hold of its fruit."

Palm trees were certainly graceful those days.

10 Turn your eyes away from me. They overpower me. Your hair flows like a flock of black goats coming down from Mount Gilead.

Pretty sure if I called a girl's hair like a goat, she'd headbutt me all the way back to the shadow realm.

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