Top Ten Weirdest Patents

I had so much fun looking at some of the stupidest ideas that have ever been patented. For your enjoyment, here are the stupidest and weirdest I could find...

The Top Ten

1 Animal Toy

"Made of wood or wood composites... Yeah. This idiot patented a stick, need I say more?

Now, that may have been reasonable if the above events had taken place in, say, 12,000 B.C. , instead of 1999 when the patent was filed. It doesn't matter now, this guy's got the stick patent and soon every forest in the planet is about to be sued out of existence for infringement. - - Cazaam

2 Kissing Shield

An apparatus used to prevent nasty mouth germs from being transmitted via kissing. Oh please, let's just forget about the dreaded lurgi and other stupid childhood games shall we? Not to mention you look like an absolute douche with it on. - Cazaam

I've heard of people doing this with a condom. Just warped. - PositronWildhawk

3 Adult Advent Calendar

Okay... Instead of chocolate behind each door, you get a different coloured and flavoured condom behind each... Yeah...
There's gonna be plenty of coitus where this came from! - Cazaam

4 Anti-Eating Mouth Cage

The Mouth Cage is designed to allow you to breath and speak but not eat due to the food barrier that's mounted on your face. Just in case you are temped by that perfect pie that's calling out to you, the Mouth Cage is actually locked onto your head, so you can't cheat the system. We don't know about you, be we're thinking it's just a little too creepy to have Mom and our favorite restaurant staff smiling from behind their own little personal mouth jails. Guess it's time for some fava beans and a nice Chianti. - - Cazaam

5 Edible Business Cards

Haha! Can't understand why this thing was ever patented. Who wants a edible business card? Next time it will be edible credit cards. - Kiteretsunu

I don't think I need to say anything here. - Cazaam

6 Holding Hands Gloves

This one is just plain absurd. What it is, is two gloves which are sewn together for one person to wear each glove. It's supposed to be good for couples but you could just wear normal gloves and hold hands. That would be a lot easier to do. - Cazaam

7 Portable Waist Seat

Ever wanted to sit down but Damn! There's no chairs! You can have one with you which is attached to your belt at the back. So when you walk, you'll look like you have a seat attached to your arse. - Cazaam

8 Spider Ladder

Now I've seen everything! A ladder which suction cups to your bath to allow spiders to climb out of the bath if they get in. I have no idea why such a thing could exist. - Cazaam

9 Imaginary Pet Lead

Okay, NOW I've seen everything. You've always wanted to walk a dog but you don't want the mess that comes with that. Why not walk holding this abomination and get laughed at instead? - Cazaam

Um, you can keep that to yourself, I'm good - TwilightKitsune

10 Apparatus For Simulating a "High Five"

This must have been designed by the saddest inventor to ever exist. He just wanted his invention to be completely useless so he could have it high five him... - Cazaam

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