Top Ten Weirdest Ways to Get Over a Breakup

PositronWildhawk

The Top Ten

1 Kidnap everyone in your ex's family and sacrifice them one by one to the almighty Breakup God in a mystic ritual

I just noticed that "Add Image" button. Somehow, I can't imagine that without it being somewhat unsettling. - PositronWildhawk

I gotta do this one day - bobbythebrony

Lol, quite a bucket list you must have, bobby! - keycha1n

Weird because positron put this - DubstepLover

2 Eat yourself fat and then work yourself back down to normal shape by violently making love to yourself

I imagine one arm would be significantly more muscular then the other.

Nomsaying? - PetSounds

All those girls will be super-hot for your ab. Not your abs, just the one. - PositronWildhawk

V 3 Comments
3 Hoard all of the antidepressants in the world, so your ex has none, and then give everyone but your ex a dose, so s/he's the only sad one

I need to do this (if I only ever had an ex or a girlfriend) - SirSkeletorThe3rd

4 Amputate your ex's limbs while they sleep and stitch them all onto his/her forehead

I would LOVE to do something like this to an ex! - Turkeyasylum

5 Take all of your ex's most treasured items and leave them in the places where the most romantic parts of the relationship took place, with a note to give him/her clues to a "scavenger hunt"/wild goose chase V 1 Comment
6 (If you're a girl) Make sure that you always have a cushion under your shirt to make your ex think he's a father, then jumpscare him with a creepy baby doll on his doorstep

Whoops, I'm a guy! I voted for this by accident! - Therandom

7 Tell someone at random that testicles are like male boobies, and build on a relationship with them entirely based on that discussion V 1 Comment
8 Write a blog about there being an insufficient amount of coffee in the world to make the economy run faster V 1 Comment
9 Eat every sprinkled ring doughnut you see from the centre outwards, and think of fifty doughnut-related innuendos for every sprinkle you consume, eating said sprinkles at a rate of dS/dt=12S.
10 Contemplate about dust mites being the most romantic of parasites

I'd argue that male anglerfish are more parasitically romantic. - keycha1n

V 1 Comment

The Contenders

11 Join Al-Qaeda or ISIS
12 Take a shotgun and shoot his privates
13 Listen to jazz metal
14 Play Sonic 06 and laugh at how bad it is
15 Make a big list of ways in which your boy/girlfriend should be executed
16 Destroy your ex's car, burn it down and sell the pieces to your neighbour
17 Cut up a picture of your ex and use the pieces to write death threats
18 Sneak in your ex's house with someone new and have sex in their bed.
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Top Remixes

1. Kidnap everyone in your ex's family and sacrifice them one by one to the almighty Breakup God in a mystic ritual
2. Eat yourself fat and then work yourself back down to normal shape by violently making love to yourself
3. Hoard all of the antidepressants in the world, so your ex has none, and then give everyone but your ex a dose, so s/he's the only sad one
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