Best Wheatley Quotes

Everyone's favorite little moron from the Portal series (or least favorite, depending on your sense of humor). His lines were semi-improvised by his voice actor, British comedian Stephen Merchant, whose performance in Portal 2 is probably one of the best in any video game, ever.

The Top Ten

1 "Your prejudice worksite should have accommodated a nanobot of my size! Thanks for the hate crime, Jer, see you in court, mate."
2 "I’m guessing this wasn’t one of the scientist’s children. You know, I don’t wanna be snobby but it’s got manual labor written all over it. I’m not saying they’re not as good as the professionals. They’re just a lot dumber."
3 "Okay, listen, we should get our stories straight, all right? If anyone asks - and no one's gonna ask, don't worry - but if anyone asks, tell them as far as you know, the last time you checked, everyone looked pretty much alive, all right? Not dead."
4 "Let there be light! ....That’s God. I was quoting God."
5 "The hardest part of any hack is the figuring out how to start things...alright, what have we got? A computer! Not a surprise. To be expected, to be honest. Check that off the list. Computer identified."
6 "The floor...what’s the floor doing? What’s the floor up to? Do you know what? It’s holding everything up! Holding everything up. The floor is important. Holding everything up."
7 "I’m gonna need to break out the expert-level hacking maneuvers now. Boy, you asked for it mate. CAW! CAW! Look at that! What’s that over there? Lovely bird!...Be a shame to miss it, just for the 'ole neurotoxin."
8 "I think this is a docking station. Get ready... [smashes into wall] Good news: that is NOT a docking station. So there's one mystery solved."
9 "I'm a bloody genius now! *Estás usando este software de traducción de forma incorrecta. Por favor consulta el manual.* I don't even know what I just said!"
10 "…Ended up giving me the worst possible job; tending to all the smelly humans...the...the um...Sorry about that. That just slipped out."
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