Movie Review/Rant - Hotel Transylvania 3

MegaSoulhero Mega Fan: Hey, MegaSoulHero!
MegaSoulHero: What do you want?
Mega Fan: There’s a movie that recently came out thatI think would be great for you to review!
MegaSoulHero: What is it?
Mega Fan: Hotel Transylvania 3! Are you gonna review it?
MegaSoulHero: Nah. Don’t you remember the last time I reviewed a Sony Pictures Animation film? I went so insane that I had to be taken to therapy and I had to attend anger management classes that I eventually got kicked out of because I was too much for those teachers. They still have restraining orders on me.
Mega Fan: Come on! I think you might have a good time with this one.
MegaSoulHero: Fine. I’ll check it out. Considering Genndy Tartakovsky came out with the amazing fifth season of Samurai Jack last year, he couldn’t possibly follow it up with a major step backwards, right?

One viewing later...

OMG!!! THAT WAS HORRIBLE!!! HOW CAN ANYONE GET ANY KIND OF ENJOYMENT OUT OF THIS!?!? THIS IS SOMETHING I WOULDN’T EVEN LET THE MOST HATED PEOPLE ON EARTH WATCH!!! I CANNOT BELIEVE THIS MADE IT INTO THEATERS!!! Well, I’m turning my cap around, even though I don’t wear hats, because I’m tearing this thing apart!

Dracula’s daughter Mavis takes him and the rest of the gang on a cruise. While on that cruise, Drac zings with the captain of the boat who is revealed to be the great granddaughter of Van Helsing. A guy who devoted his life to getting rid of monsters. So throughout the film, she constantly tries to kill Drac without him knowing and while he still has a crush on her. As you can see, the plot is very cliché! It’s something we’ve seen numerous times and there is really no way to make it feel different. Even Hercules did it. And I might even go as far as saying that Hercules did it better. I can’t believe I just complimented Hercules. That’s how bad this movie is. One of my biggest problems would have to be the animation. A lot of people say how good the animation is, but I very much disagree. The style that they’re going for in these movies with making the characters move in a cartoonish way is a pretty neat idea. They use it very well in the first two films. It’s not distracting and it makes for some pretty funny visual gags. In this one, however, they took the cartoonish style and went overboard with it! Every scene, every movement, every character is moving in such an overly exaggerated and unnatural way and it’s like that throughout the entire film! This is what I feared would happen in the first two films. It’s like jingling keys in front of a child’s face to keep their attention.

I can’t think of a single character I liked in this film. My least favorite character is Johnny. He was insufferable here! He doesn’t even really do much until the end and is mostly just there for comic relief. That’s my issue with most of these characters. They introduced us to so many characters in the previous films and even introduced us to more characters in this one. However, it’s clear that they didn’t know what to do with all of them. Some of them just get sidelined. In fact, there are literally two characters that get tranquilized and locked in a room and we don’t see them for the rest of the film until the end! None of the jokes in this movie worked for me. Not a single chuckle, not a single smile. Just about every cliché that people hate seeing in kids movies are done in this movie! There are a bunch of scenes that don’t really add anything to the story. At the beginning, we see two random monsters that are getting married. I get that it was supposed to set up Drac feeling lonely and wanting to find a date, but the scene is longer than it needs to be. The set up could’ve been done in a much better way. Most of the stuff that happens on the cruise is just filler. This only the third movie and they’ve already run out of ideas.

The movie is predictable from start to finish. Anyone who has seen ANY movie ever would know that Ericka ends up truly having feelings for Drac! I’d be surprised if anyone told me that they were surprised by that reveal! Then there’s one of the dumbest climaxes ever! Van Helsing plays a piece of music that can control the kraken so it could destroy the monsters. So Drac and Johnny have to play a song that will get it to calm down. And what song do they choose? THE MACARENA!!! Yep! They chose THAT of all songs! I doubt kids of this generation would even know about that song. I guess it’s better than using a modern pop song, but still, why THAT song? That just seemed like a random choice. One of my biggest pet peeves in animated kids films is ending the movie with a dance party. While this doesn’t happen at the very end, it’s still really dumb.

We found it! We found the worst animated movie of 2018! It’s an atrocious mess with terrible animation, terrible humor, terrible characters, and it’s extremely cliché! There is no way that there will be an animated film this year that will be worse than this! I knew it would be bad, but WOW, this is bad! It’s a lot better than the Emoji Movie, but I still say you should definitely skip this one. It is easily the worst Hotel Transylvania movie in the trilogy.

Score: 1/10

Comments

Was this one that bad really? I enjoyed this movie a lot and thought it was better than the second one and would honestly give it a 8 out of 10, IRYO though - visitor (7/19/2018)

My god there's a lot of movies I need 2 c - Nonpointed (7/27/2018)

This movie has no real reason to exist. I was going to go see this one just because my mom and brother wanted to watch whatever, but we saw Jurassic world instead, which I guess was the right decision... - Phillip873 (8/17/2018)

I agree with you. This movie is a waste of time and proof that movie directors are running out of ideas. - visitor (10/9/2018)

This movie looks decent in my opinion. - B1ueNew (10/20/2018)

Agreed, I hate franchise as a whole. - visitor (4/22/2019)