The Rant - Re/Zero: Starting Life In Another World

TwilightKitsune
Hello ladies and gentlemen, and welcome to my first post with the word ‘rant’ in the title. I hope it was clickbait enough for you to click on it. So, what will we be roasting today? Ah, you wait and see.

Today we will be burning *drum roll*

RE/ZERO: STARTING LIFE IN ANOTHER WORLD!

No, it’s not a video game. It’s an anime. A terrible and awful anime.

Re/Zero was released in 2016 based on the manga of the same name. It centers around Subaru Natsuki, an ordinary guy like you or me, who suddenly gets pulled into another world for no apparent reason. This new world is magical, rife with witches, magic, spells, animal people and retards.

After an unfortunate encounter with some thugs, Subaru meets a silver haired elf, who introduces herself as Satella. Satella tells him that her pendant was stolen. Satella and Subaru go out to find it. They approach an old warehouse place, and Satella goes in, leaving Subaru waiting outside.

When she doesn’t come out, Subaru goes in to find her, only to find her corpse surrounded by blood. He gasps as he realizes she is dead, and when he turns around, a blade swipes up, killing him.

Subaru wakes up. He gasps. He finds himself in a new world. This new world is magical, rife with witches, magic, spells, animal people and retards.

Wasn’t he here before? What happened?

Then he realizes something.

He has a power called return after death. If he dies, he will automatically be set back in time to a point before his death.

He finds the silver haired elf girl again, and calls her Satella.

Suddenly everyone gasps.

Satella was an evil witch, feared by the land. The girl, hurt and horrified, stares at Subaru, and suddenly, the same thief runs and snatches her pendant.

The girl’s name is Emilia.

Emilia is mad at Subaru. She storms off, hurt, but Subaru is confused and chases her. He asks her to let him help her in finding the pendant. After he saves her from her apparent death (having to use his return after death powers multiple times), she takes him to her mansion where Subaru asks to be employed as a servant.

Oh boy, guess what! The pendant was important because the king died and now they’re looking for a new heir, and since Emilia has one she can run for king #MakeThisCrappyKingdomGreatAgain. Will Emilia win this presidential race? Will Rem give up on Subaru? Will Felis stop crossdressing as a woman? All this and more in Re/Zero: Starting Life In Another World!

Throughout the series, he lives in the mansion, makes new friends and meets new people, and uses his powers as well. However, there is a price.

If Subaru tries to tell anyone he has powers, his heart is gently caressed by an unknown force. He almost dies, for real. So he can’t tell anyone about it. And a terror looms across this all. A terror connected to Subaru’s powers and the elf Satella…..

There you go people. That’s your beginning of your anime.

Here are my take on the characters (Ranking from Worst To Best)

#1: Emilia:

* Deep Breath *

Where do I begin.

Emilia is literally one of the WORST fictional characters to ever exist. She’s useless, does absolutely nothing at all, and yet 90739273937907% of the show’s screentime is wasted on her. I mean, all she does in the first half of the show is die. And Subaru chases her relentlessly and makes it his goal to have her. Why are we even supposed to give a damn about a character who’s basically a mary-sue. And I don’t get why the hell they made her the deutragonist of the show. Even Sakura Haruno and Ginny Weasly are better than her, and you know why? Because they have POTENTIAL. But Emilia, nah, she’s nothing.

#2: Subaru Natsuki:

Dear god I hate this character. He’s so dumb and annoying, and does something stupid every two minutes he’s on the screen. He constantly chases Emilia even though she makes it clear she doesn’t return his affections. And there is one girl who loves him and gave EVERYTHING up for him, Rem, and he’s still all like ‘Eh? Rem who?’. I wish his death was permanent. He’s basically that ‘awkward dumbass kid’ trope, just 100000000000x more awkward dumbass.

#3: Betelgeuse Renee Conti

I’m not sure if I spelt his name right, but- oh, like I give a *fudge*. Let’s dig in. This guy is a special needs child in a grown man’s body. He is obsessed with Satella and earning her love and will do anything to get it. He owns a bunch of witch cultists as his minions. He has killed Subaru and/or his friends many times. He also has an obsession with biting his nails until they bleed (probably because he never went to a special needs class in his life). To hell with this guy.

#4: Priscilla

Priscilla ‘Lying Hillary Clinton’ (no last name) is one of Emilia’s 4 rivals for the throne. She acts like a spoilt bitch and treats everyone around her like crap at every damn opportunity. Think it like this. If you took Izumo Kamiki, Eliza Leagan, Diamond Tiara, Mandi Weatherly and every other spoilt brat character to ever exist and shoved them into a blender and tried to get a failed abortion about of it then well done folks, you’ve made Priscilla. Hope she gets killed by Betelgeuse.

#5: Rem

Damn, I have to admit, the way Subaru treated her was harsh. He threw her out like she was a used piece of Kleenex. It was like that scene from Puella Magi Madoka Magica where Kyosuke throws out Sayaka (also, Sayaka and Rem both have short blue hair, and they’re friends with a pink-haired person…. Wut?). But while Sayaka had zeal, passion, and fought for what she believed was right, Rem on the other hand is this watery character who still chases Subaru after what he did to her. Surprisingly she has a lot of fans, and is claimed to be the ‘Best Girl’ of 2016 (If it was up to me, though, Best Girl would probably go to Shinoa Hiragi, Mikasa Ackerman, Homura Akemi or My Neighbour Totoro’s Satsuki).

#6: Roswaal

This guy is very creepy next character

#7: Felis

I love this guy ^(O>w<O)^

#8: Van Astrea

Losing his wife was pretty tragic, but he got over it and killed the White Whale. Badass old man.

#9: Ram

Rem’s pink haired sister. She’s awesome. She’s a buttkicker in Strawberry Shortcake’s outfit. If I could be friends with any character from this show in real life it would be her.

#10: Felt

Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the greatest thing to come out of this show’s ass: Felt. Felt was found as a baby by Old Man Rom and she has been raised by him ever since. She makes a living being a thief for special clients. When she gets tangled up with Subaru and Emilia after she stole Emilia’s pendant, she apologizes and is forgiven. And it turns out she’s also worthy of being a candidate for the 2016 Presidential Election of the USA Kingdom’s ruler. She also calls Priscilla a bitch to her face. This is the best girl of 2016.

Rest of the characters: I really don’t care about most of them

Now that the ranking is done, I’m going to rant on why it sucks.

Let’s begin with the story.

Subaru Natsuki, an ordinary 18-year-old, is at a superstore one day. As he walks out, he is suddenly transported to another world. Yeah. Just like that. No explanation or anything, he just poofs into nowhere. Am I seriously supposed to believe that? Give me some enlightment, clarification, elucidation, justification, rationalization, description, vindication and not ‘Oh he just poofed like that’.

Then there’s Emilia. She adds nothing useful to the plot. Okay, she gives Subaru some motivation, and she has wicked cool glyph powers. But it all means nothing because the only thing she cares about is the kingdom heir race. You know, like, ‘Screw all my friends and everyone who cares about me, I gotta win this election so I can make a wall against Witch Cultists and make em pay for it’. Bland and boring character, like the rest of the characters. And one thing I don’t get. Is she Satella or Emilia? I looked this thing up on Google, MyAnimeList, YouTube and every other place possible and still found zilch.

Then there are his unexplained powers. Most of the episodes are wasted on this idiot dying again and again. It eventually becomes boring and you feel like watching this anime is a chore. When I was around episode 8 or something I wanted to drop this series so bad, but I thought, ‘Dude, Puella Magi Madoka Magica started out drab but had a killer ending so what if it’s the same for this anime?’ and in general I don’t like leaving things unfinished (it’s something like OCD). Oh, and guess what. I WAS WRONG! It doesn’t have any special ending, just the main cast killing a whale.

Everything in the show gets samey and loses charm. It’s basically a corpse, but only Felt, Ram and some other characters keeping it alive.

Also, why does this show have so much fans? Seriously, that’s why I began watching Re/Zero. IMdB, MyAnimeList, Tumblr and every other damn site in the world love this show. Watch Re/Zero, they said. It would be fun, they said.
Re/Zero sucks, I say. Don’t watch it, I say.

Now that I have finally ranted why this aneurysm is awful, I can finally rest now. Stay awesome, guys (and gals). Also, don’t forget to vote for Felt for the POTUS. Okay, byeeeee!!!

Comments

Lets say this anime is bad - visitor

Yeah - TwilightKitsune

I'm not the biggest fan of Re:Zero myself. I didn't think the characters were that great and I couldn't stand the direction the series was taking. - RoseRedFlower

Me too. It was torture watching it - TwilightKitsune

Subaru? Damn his parents named him after a car? - BlueTopazIceVanilla

Yes, yes they did - MLPFan

Lol, I didn't know Subaru was a car company! Actually, it's Japanese so it must have some meaning to it - TwilightKitsune

I'm gonna make a Re:Zero hate post too soon, but not on reviewing it but more on roasting Subaru and Emilia - MLPFan

Aww, a hate review post would have been fun, but it's your choice.. - TwilightKitsune

Emilia is better in the original LN and arc 4 though.

And I agree with you,there are girls better than Rem.(Best girl should be Maka and Black Rock Shooter.) - MilkTae

This anime made me constipated - Discord1

Sorry I meant cartoon - Discord1

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