Cartoon Crapisodes Rant: Episode 12 - Dexter vs. Santa's Claws

ModernSpongeBobSucks
Dexter vs. Santa's Claws, we meet again! It's been many years since I last saw this episode on the Boomerang channel back when the trademark boomerang logo was still in use. Wanna know why exactly I hate the episode Dexter vs. Santa's Claws from Dexter's Laboratory? Well, if you remember seeing a scene where Dexter shaves off Santa's beard, then that's part of why I disli- no, not dislike, but rather DESPISE Dexter vs. Santa's Claws. For the 2nd episode of the second season of Cartoon Crapisodes Rant, I will be ranting on said episode as part of my last posts of 2016 for the Christmas season. Oh, and think of this post as a Christmas special. Now let's take a look at what this Crapisode has in store for us...

So Dexter vs. Santa's Claws begins with Dee Dee using Dexter's computer to make her wishlist and then send it to Santa Claus. Dexter is shown to not only be annoyed by Dee Dee being in his laboratory, but he is also shown to be annoyed by the belief that Santa Claus exists. So this prompts him to explain that Santa Claus isn't real by saying that it's just his dad disguised as Santa Claus and that he uses his car for the sleigh and Dexter's mom for the reindeer... all while expressing this in an awful rap song. Trust me, I'm not jumping on the Mr. Enter bandwagon. I actually thought the rap song sucked balls. I would rather choose to listen to "Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer" all day on Christmas Day than even think about hearing any noise from Dexter's bad rapping skills ever again. Plus, I actually kind of like that song unlike Dexter's rap song in this episode.

Anyways, Dexter locks Dee Dee out and proceeds to monitor the roof of his house to prove that Santa isn't real. Jeez, talk about a real Scrooge here. So Santa eventually comes (and we as the audience can CLEARLY see that he's the real deal) to Dexter's house and begins to set down the presents for Dexter and his family under his Christmas tree. Dexter rushes down to his living room to confront Santa, who then flees using Christmas magic to escape back to his sleigh and reindeer.

Dexter does not give up just yet, as he chases Santa back up to the roof, complete with a hair razor in his hand. Santa feels threatened by this (well, who wouldn't be?) and then one of his reindeer steps in to protect Santa from Dexter. Dexter believes that the reindeer is his mom and then does one of the worst things he has ever done in the entire series...

HE PULLS OUT THE POOR REINDEER'S ANTLERS!!!

I'm sorry, but that was just downright animal cruelty. Moving on, Santa then stuffs Dexter down his house's chimney and flies away on his sleigh. Dexter is not deterred by this as it turns out the chimney was a secret fighter jet. Hmm, that reminds me of how T.O.M. and Sara found out that their base of operations was an ancient ship in episode 4 of Intruder III on Toonami. Getting back on topic, Dexter then engages in a dogfight with Santa as he tries to shoot him down from the sky. Dexter fires lasers at Santa as they pass by his house, prompting Dee Dee to wake up and see Santa flying by her house from the window of her bedroom, albeit with Dexter in hot pursuit of him. Of course, Dee Dee is maddened by this and scolds at Dexter for trying to take down Santa. You know, in many episodes of Dexter's Laboratory, Dee Dee is usually supposed to be intentionally annoying, as that's the primary purpose of her character. However, in this episode, I don't find her annoying in the slightest. In fact, I'm even on her side. Wanna know why? Because that little Grinch of a boy genius that we call Dexter has got to be the most annoying character in a Cartoon Network Christmas special next to Princess Morbucks from 'Twas the Fight Before Christmas from The Powerpuff Girls!

Santa then tries to block one of Dexter's lasers by deploying some presents to use as decoys. Dee Dee sees this and once again expresses anger as she is concerned that the presents Santa used to block Dexter's lasers were her presents. Eventually, Santa is shot down by Dexter and crashes into Dexter's house, destroying all of the Christmas decorations and the house itself. With Santa finally subdued, Dexter then proceeds to shave off Santa's beard in an attempt to reveal that it's supposedly his father in disguise. Not shockingly, his father comes downstairs and Dexter hears his voice, making him realize that Santa was real the whole time and that he just shaved off jolly old Saint Nick's beard. To make things worse, Dexter's entire family is now present, with Dexter's father angry at him for causing massive damage to the house and Dexter's mother being left in tears for him destroying all of the Christmas decorations and the Christmas tree. Dexter then tries to apologize saying that he's sorry for ruining Christmas agai-

Wait a second. I'm not a fan of Mr. Enter, but honestly, I agree with what he said in his Animated Atrocities video on this same exact episode. Dexter, you mean to tell me... THAT THIS HAPPENED BEFORE?!?!?! You just admitted that you ruined Christmas before, so that probably means you did the same thing you did to Santa right now in the past before! Unless it was something else he did to ruin Christmas, this is one hell of a gaping plot hole!

Anyways, Dexter tries to mimic A Charlie Brown Christmas as he tries to say that Christmas is about family and being together until Dee Dee yells at him and tells him that that is not what Christmas is about. Dexter is confused by this when Santa then tells him that it's about the presents, leaving him with an even more confused face as the episode ends.

Well... someone is definitely going on the naughty list and getting a huge lump of coal for Christmas. While Dexter vs. Santa's Claws is the third part of the 37th episode of season 2 in Dexter's Laboratory, even if it's not really an official Christmas special, as an episode by itself, it's still pretty bad.

Fun fact: This didn't even originally air near the Christmas season. In fact, Dexter vs. Santa's Claws originally aired on April 29, 1998. Not even close to July. Although, I did first see this episode air on Boomerang during one Christmas season.

Now I can't really name any pros for this episode, because I pretty much hated everything about this episode aside from the action scenes between Dexter and Santa, though I didn't enjoy them as much due to how mean-spirited they were! First off, Dexter's rapping skills are horrible in this episode! The lyrics for the rap song he sung in this episode are just as bad as any Future rap song. Second, the part where he pulled off one of the reindeer's antlers. Oh, yes. That part. That part was just vile. Third, how on EARTH does Dexter even think that a theory that his parents are posing as Santa Claus and his reindeer is plausible?! Dexter, you may be a boy genius, but that theory is moronic even by cartoon standards! Even Jimmy Neutron's theory that Santa Claus was just a corporate business facade made to get money by having parents buy presents supposedly made by Santa for their children from Holly Jolly Jimmy is more logical than that theory! Fourth, the way Dexter treated Santa in this episode was just downright despicable! I get that he's trying to prove Santa isn't real, but going as far as to intentionally attack him? YOU'RE DEFINITELY GOING ON THAT NAUGHTY LIST, DEXTER! And the scene where he shaves off Santa's beard was just unbearable for me to watch! And last but not least, the ending. Not only did Santa say to Dexter that Christmas was about the presents, but he also said it right in front of the audience! I might as well call this the Christmas equivalent of Stuck in the Wringer from SpongeBob SquarePants!

In closing, though it isn't really an official Christmas episode of Dexter's Laboratory, I would still consider it to be a Christmas episode. A Christmas episode that is flat out abominable. It's quite a shame that for Cartoon Network's first Cartoon Cartoon, Dexter's Laboratory doesn't have a single good Christmas episode or special. Lots of Cartoon Network shows have had awesome Christmas episodes or specials. Especially those that aired prior to the 2010's. But as for Dexter's Laboratory, I highly recommend giving Dexter vs. Santa's Claws a skip. If you want a Christmas special revolving around a boy genius, look no further than Holly Jolly Jimmy from The Adventures of Jimmy Neutron: Boy Genius, which is less mean-spirited and more well-executed. Overall, this may seem biased, but I have no choice but to give Dexter vs. Santa's Claws a very low score:

2.0 out of 10.0 stars

Next episode: Cartoon Crapisodes Rant: Episode 13: Yours, Mine, and Mine

I know that Christmas is pretty much already over by the time I finish making this, but I would like to say happy holidays and a happy New Year to everyone! Until then, peace!

Oh, and Dexter, Santa Claus has something to tell you...

Santa:...You have gone and worked my last nerve! I have no other choice. You are so rotten, so despicable, so naughty... I'm putting you on the... Permanent Naughty Plaque! Bum-bum-bummm!

Comments

I know this is probably late for a Christmas special, but I just wanted to get this off my chest since I hate this episode so much. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

That rap part though, I actually decided to look it up. Dexter's rapping skills are horrendous, he is a decent character, but he cannot rap at all. I rather listen to I Farted On Santa's Lap(And yes, it is a real Christmas song.) - AnimeDrawer

Pretty good post. I remember hating this special when I was little, and I never watched it again. - Elric-san

Thanks. - ModernSpongeBobSucks

Why would Dexter do that to a poor reindeer... - TwilightKitsune

Can't wait for Yours, Mine, and Mine! Kick that pink star's ass. - DCfnaf

I'm making a series called The Dark Top tens its not really a si eries but some eps have parts like 1 and and more. The series is about many horror stories and it shows who could survive the horror eps want to join by the way it may be really scary - HollowArrow

Good rant - Skullkid755

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