Top Ten Worst Comments to Make On Christmas In Front of Your Young Children

Turkeyasylum
December 18 Christmas Countdown! Read, Laugh, Enjoy.

The Top Ten

1 Now that you've opened your presents, I have an announcement from Santa - The presents you opened are all going to the neighbors because their tree wasn't big enough. But as compensation, we have a lump of coal for each of you.
2 Ooh, a Fifty Dollar gift card! I'm gonna get me some hookers! (Quietly to the kids) Don't tell mom!

I wonder if brothels actually have gift certificates. - PetSounds

3 I'm gonna open this present that I bought for myself that's from Santa... I just put "From Santa" on all the presents for the fun of it!
4 The presents? These are just empty boxes that are for decor!
5 Sorry if the present's aren't what you want, I just took the best I could find in a coal mine.
6 Santa accidentally delivered these presents to the wrong house... so I'm gonna take them to their rightful owners at Goodwill.
7 Knowing that you're 6, 5, and 3, I think it's the right time to tell you Santa doesn't exist, and that Daddy and Mommy bought all the presents.
8 You know that song "Santa Claus Is Coming To Town"? Well, that's not entirely true...

You'd better watch out, you best get in line, you better not say what you think is right, Kim Jong-un is coming to town...
This list was a great birthday present, Turkey! - PositronWildhawk

9 For Christmas, I have a great story to read aloud to you: The Miracle Of Child Birth. I will also give you some time to watch the movies Paranormal Activity and The Hills Have Eyes.

This is how to give kids nightmares for weeks... - Turkeyasylum

10 The reason I got you guys underwear is because, no offense, those ponies can be rather annoying and disruptive.

The Contenders

11 Want to Watch Me and Mommy Have Sex?
12 You were an accident
13 Do all your chores or I'll eat your presents!
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Top Remixes

1. Now that you've opened your presents, I have an announcement from Santa - The presents you opened are all going to the neighbors because their tree wasn't big enough. But as compensation, we have a lump of coal for each of you.
2. Ooh, a Fifty Dollar gift card! I'm gonna get me some hookers! (Quietly to the kids) Don't tell mom!
3. I'm gonna open this present that I bought for myself that's from Santa... I just put "From Santa" on all the presents for the fun of it!
Turkeyasylum

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