WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: FACK

WonkeyDude98
You know, the definition of the "worst song ever" is pretty slim and not a term that should be thrown around lightly. It's a real shame I have to toss that title to my favorite rapper of all time, Eminem.

There was no possible way to make a song so malformedly insensitive to the ear that it's worse than the combined horror of every song I've rated below a 2 out of 5 combined. No way. Never. Sadly, Eminem pulled it off with FACK, which is the introductory track on his greatest hits album Curtain Call. I will just say here that by those circumstances intentional career sabotage combined with the unbelievable overdose he had during the last decade formed this.

Let's start with the beat. The beat is terrible. There's this really thick bass drum and this slow, dreary melody that keeps the song from being light and painfully enjoyable like Rain Man or Just Lose It.

That's nothing to say with Eminem's voice. He tries to imitate Eric Cartman. He sounds like an absolute moron!! It doesn't help that he had a song that actually used the voice productively (The Kids).

The rhymes and flows on this thing are completely botched. Rhyming "ow" with "c*m*, then "fack" with "c*m", and that's when he even TRIES TO KEEP THE FLOW STEADY. Even in Lil Wayne's worst work he doesn't completely abandon a line to fly out in space, or at least he doesn't on multiple occasions on one song. Literally, flow-wise, the first four bars of the first verse are the best part. Let it sink in. He rhymes "contortionist" with "of course it is", but then...."ab*rtion is".

The lyrics are easily the worst part. Listening to an instrumental is no different from listening to the clean version. The lyrics show really gross and perverted activity with a woman. The only song I can remember being this specific about it was Rihanna's Birthday Cake, and then again Chris Brown was on it so it's not much of a surprise. This? Well, this is one of the bars on the second verse "I'm so f***ing hot and you're so f***ing hot/I wanna fack/No not f***/I said fack/F-A-C-K F-A-C-K/fack fack fack fack fackin' FREAK ME!!!!/See baby they call me Mr. Freaky/Let's call your sister 3-way/Have me a threesome/Me so ho**y". No lyric has ever been as bad as this. And that's an average lyric relative to the rest of the song.

The song immediately hits a new low as the third verse starts. After really perverted statements, he says that he wants this woman to keep her finger in his butt, and then tries to emphasize the fact that he's not gay. Then he asks her to take a gerbil and shove it in his butt through a tube. If that doesn't just make you involuntarily take a blade and stab yourself, you are stronger than I.

He finishes the song by repeating "Shove a gerbil in your a** through a tube" four times followed by "EW EW EW EW".

This song gets a -infinity/5. It's the worst song I've ever heard by the distance of thirty lightyears of a margin. This is coming from an Eminem fan 4 life. I hope you don't have to go through the same fate I did. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out and being extra nice to gerbils.

Comments

Wow. So that's why they say Eminem got overboard here. - visitor

Surprised you didn't know before. - WonkeyDude98

I never really listened to Eminem... - visitor

Shame, he's great. - WonkeyDude98

This song is hilarious but so bad - bobbythebrony

Agreed - WonkeyDude98

I knew the song would be vulgar considering the name was "FACK". - Skullkid755

I can only imagine Eminem in the booth recording this song and everyone in the studio is laughing their butts off and then Dr. Drew walks in and sees what happening and then turns around and leaves while saying "Why the hell did I sign this guy" - bobbythebrony

Dre, just remember that this is the same guy that made Kim, Kill You, The Way I Am, Stan, The Real Slim Shady, and Without Me. - WonkeyDude98

I know it's Dre. Stupid auto correct - bobbythebrony

No, at that moment I was talking TO Dre. - WonkeyDude98

What was Dre probably thinking when he listened to this song? - AlphaQ

I never heard the song. I just read the lyrics...

I don't want to hear the Song. - PhenomentalOne

Don't do it because I did it and I want to die painfully now. - DCfnaf

Eminem fan for life eh?


Also, this song rules. - ProPanda

There are verses? It's all just sex to me - visitor

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