Worst Insults Ever

These are some stupid things to say in a fight. Consider yourself stupid if you use them. Some of these are okay, but it really depends on whose saying it.

The Top Ten

1 I know you are but what am I?

It is just asking for your inside view of them

This is so dumb. You can't just keep saying it even if it doesn't make sense! - Pikachulover1

I have never heard anyone say this, other than in Pee Wee's big adventure. - Stalin

I have a little cousin who annoys me. Whenever I burn him with an insult, he says this. About ten insults later, I say this because it's the only insult he knows and he replies with "that doesn't make any sense! What a retard.

2 You're dumb!

It's like you stole a crayon from a 2 year old with anger issues and they're like YOUR DUMB! - OneWayStreet

This is pretty bad and I have heard about everything there is to say

Yeah no need to say that if everyone else knows! (Duh! )

I know I am dumb

3 I don't like your pencil.

Why would I care whether or not someone likes my pencil?

Who frigging cares? - Pikachulover1

That is the stupidest thing I ever heard as a insult.

Who cares? No one! Everyone has the same pencil! - Datguyisweird666

4 (Has the same shirt as you) Your shirt's stupid!

Okay, its either their just playing around or they have some serious mental problems. - Pikachulover1


It is just dumb! My sister said that to me once when I was wearing one of her shirts and she didn't even realise what she had done!

Then the person is insulting themselves

5 You don't like school. Ha Ha!

Why is that a bad thing? Most of the population in school doesn't like it. I'm yet to discover someone who does. - BonJovi17

That's just dumb
It's not even a proper insult. It's something a three-year-old would say.

I can hate school if a want to

It's the type of things that nerds say to feel good about themselves. - Pikachulover1

6 You're a nerd.

Who cares?
I'm a nerd, and actually prefer being one over being a jock! - BurritoSeal

I'm a nerd and I believe calling someone a nerd is the same as calling them smart. - Solacress

I am a nerd and its not offensive - idontknow

Calling someone a nerd is actually complimenting them, because the guy calling him a nerd is calling himself stupid and the other guy smart.

7 I'm better than you! I can find the spacebar!

Wow... And I can find the keyboard!

Everyone can. - Datguyisweird666

I was gonna say that

I can even find a bar in space not a space bar that is very hard to find (not)

8 A hobo calls you poor.

All this one needs is a little improvement and it will be a good insult.

I laughed so hard I pissed myself

This is OFFENSIVE if they change it a BIT

This is so easy to make a comeback. - Pikachulover1

9 Your dad told me you should have been a wank
10 After they saw your face, they signed Quasimodo as a model

The Contenders

11 You're such a pain in the gluteus maximus

The only people who say gluteus maximus are people who want to sound smart. It doesn't work. - BonJovi17

This is just something you say to make you look smart. Who says gluteus maximus anyway?

Who says gluteus maximus? - Skullkid755

Funny definition:Gluteus Maximus is the strongest (or was it biggest? ) muscle in you body,on your buttock. - mathguy37

12 Yo momma!

I hate these jokes because I love my Mam! We should all appreciate our mothers and what they do for us! We would not exist if it weren't for them! In conclusion, mothers are awesome and should not be used like this.

This is from a 12 year old by the way.

Childhood cringey memories - Kyoy

That is the most annoying comeback ever. Whoever says this is a retard and it makes no sense. When my brother says that to me he is just making fun of OUR mom which is mean and I just tell him to shut up or shut your face

This one is horrible, as I feel it is extremely annoying. I feel like punching their teeth out when I hear this one. How would your mom be incorporated into this? And "yo momma" is only useful in yo mama jokes, eh?

13 Buttface

Only little kids(Kids under the age of 10) say this. - DarkBoi-X

This is what my little sister says

14 Loser

This essentially is admitting defeat when said. - BonJovi17

The worst insult, you should put this on #1, when people say that as a comeback, Beck should be disappointed of him - LegitRising

15 You play like a girl

My sister is actually very athletic. In my household, it's probably a compliment. - BonJovi17

Idiots would use this

This ain't an insult. If you play a little better I'm sure you'll run like a girl too.

Weird because girls can be very athletic... If sports are what the insult is for at least...

16 Remembering you is like throwing up

Then I hope you don't remember me. You must inflict a lot of extra labor on your family by remembering me. - BonJovi17

17 Did the short bus drop you off?
18 Well at least I'm better than you.

At what? definitely not at comebacks

no I is - AlphaQ

19 Your a self-obsessed weasel!



It's just plain stupid.

That's stupid even a little boy is better than you

1 Comment
20 You're Gay

Then why am I attracted to the opposite sex?! - BonJovi17

Its annoying how people use a sexual orientation and a word which means happy as a stupid insult to mean lame.

Well this used to mean happy, then it meant lame and now it means homosexual. - Stalin

The most overused insult that idiots fling at people without even knowing that "gay" is a sexual orientation, not an insult.

21 You're a tenth of 1% as gross as Justin Bieber

That is really bad math. 1/10 of 1% means I'm 0.10 times as bad as Bieber. - BonJovi17

"Worked hard? " He doesn't even write his own songs. Did you even read the guy above's comment?

Not funny! - AlphaQ

Tenth of 1% goes a long way. JB is a far right nutjob, an abusive boyfriend, a terrible singer, an all around douche. There are hundreds of douchey things he has done.

1 Comment
22 I'd Rather Listen to Nicki Minaj Than Look at You

But you just looked at me!

That's Fine... - AlphaQ


23 You're so ugly you have to wear makeup

It's so stupid, it made me laugh. How is it not in the top ten? It's the best worst joke ever.

Makeup makes you uglier. - Oliveleaf

This is a good one used it many times

So stupid.. I just no.. No

24 You suck

When people say this, you can tell They didn't take the time to think up a good insult.

It's like they don't even bother to come up with something good. - TwilightKitsune

The response to this will be you suck at insulting people

Or than you swallow

25 Poop thinks you stink

He is the one that smells

This is just great.

A guy who speaks pigeon will say ( dis guy they mell)... Thi is great

I need a better 1 to crush u because I'm being bullied in skul and it's so bad please help me

26 You smell like a zoo

Only 5 year olds say this

That's offensive to zoos

Better version: I would say you smell like a zoo, but that would be offensive to zoos.

You smell like a poo

1 Comment
27 Roses are red violets are blue, faces like yours belong in a zoo

I already heard that one


28 I have a gameboy and you have a Wii U ha ha!

Wii you and game boy are both good.

Haha, very funny. At least I can keep with the times unlike you.

Who even put this on here! Wii you is awesome and same with Gameboy but this is stupid - Berger

Gameboy's better than a Wii U anyways.

29 You and your family should die in a fire

In revenge, I'll roast him so hard that he'll be the one burning.

That's not an insult that's just plain rude

If anyone says that then theirs should die of embarrassment

I burn him back, but my sink has water.

30 You look like you were born in a car accident.

How? Logic please. - MChkflaguard_Yt

You were probably born with robo parts.

31 You are poop!

5 year old saying

I can tell these were your first three words

Not 5 year old-a 3 year old.

Ugh this is so dumb!

1 Comment
32 You're so slow my crappy internet is faster than you

This is actually a pretty good insult... - JakePlaid

Made me laugh for some moment

I feel ya buddy!

Laugh out loud dis 1 is so damn funny... M gonna try that on sum peeps

33 If I put your brain in a bird it would fly backwards

That's kinda stupid and kinda funny

34 You're so fat, I wouldn't mistake you for a elephant

I know what's better, "You're so fat, I wouldn't mistake you for Eric Cartman! "

This is so funny I'm going to use this on my cousin j

Respond: you are so stupid you said "a eliphant"

Good one

1 Comment
35 You eat poo

Son, that's disgusting.

This sounds like someone with an IQ of about 40 would say.

Here's a comeback:
Shut up, your face is more disgusting than the dumpster at the back of Goodwill.

Yoo eet po hahaggs yoo dumb dins isok ふfnny haha I oose thi aooll thu tume#sz

i'm actually not this stupid. I'm just pretending. And YOUR FAMILY TREE IS A CACTUS, EVERYONE ON IT IS A PRICK!

36 Not as much as your face!

Haha I hear this being said too much!

Me: You are really stupid!
Derpyperson: Not as much as your face!

What that makes no sense

Where have I heard this before? Oh yeah, BAILEY RICKER! - Pikachulover1

37 Experimental Baboon

Experimenting how badly a baboon can beat someone up!

38 You're a diseased plague to the human race.

Yeah just like the other ones, only five year olds say this

39 Dumb*ss

Why is this high on best insults? - TeamRocket747

40 you're an idiot

That's probably THE worst thing you can ever say. Its not even a insult!

41 Pee pee pants

Only 4 year olds say this - MChkflaguard_Yt

That's used when you were a little kid

For 5 Year Olds - blst0033

That's what I hear from the 5 years old that are insulting me, I laugh so hard because of his ridiculous insults that are saying to me like: gay, faggot, homo detected. This is just, stupid..

42 Your momma's so fat... it affects her self esteem

This is better: Yo mama so fat, when she rode an elephant, she crushed it.

Here's a much better one:
"Yo momma so fat she wears two different wrist watches cause she in two different time zones! "
"Yo momma so fat, when she sat down in Walmart, she lowered the prices."
"Yo momma so stupid, she put two quarters in her eyes and thought she was listening to Fify Cent! "
"You mommy so fat, she uses a mattress as a tampon! "
Just some ideas.

43 What is that smell? Oh it is you

That's what 5 year olds say

Yeah I smell nice inih

44 You're so ugly that your mother mistook you as an octopus

Not even an insult. This is plain rude. - MChkflaguard_Yt

You're so ugly you mom mistake you for Justin beiber

45 Your so chubby the back of your head looks like a pack of hot dogs

Wasn't this on "The Amazing World of Gumball"?

Good to use on fat people

(yawn) ih your still a loser

46 You're a failed abortion.

Wow and bad to people who don't really understand abortion, foetus.

You are so stupid that if you you were 100% smarter a chair will be smarter dan you

This is a bad insult, and it's also sort of mean - TwilightKitsune

Ooooh, now that iS... WoW, yoh

47 Yo mama so poor it took her 3 years just to give a penny
48 You're cancer

That is offensive to those who have cancer it is a serious disease autistic would be worse than this insult. Idiots think autistic equals retarded

Worst insult ever if someone ever said this to me I would punch them in the face so hard they will be the one who’s cancer

49 Suppurating fundament

Just a name-call but it baffles people and when they look-up the words in the dictionary they get annoyed - GA

50 Swag pennies have more value than you

Ooh you got dissed

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List StatsCreated 9 Jan 2013

800 votes
107 listings
6 years, 339 days old

Top Remixes (8)

1. Your dad told me you should have been a wank
2. You're such a pain in the gluteus maximus
3. Loser
1. After they saw your face, they signed Quasimodo as a model
2. Buttface
3. Did the short bus drop you off?
1. I know you are but what am I?
2. You don't like school. Ha Ha!
3. (Has the same shirt as you) Your shirt's stupid!

View All 8

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