WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Booty

Jennifer Lopez has always been the most pointless artist in the industry for me. She ranges from generic to generic in quality. The industry would not be better or worse without her. While she has never been actively awful, she's also never been good.

Then, this happened. (All rights go to Swellow)

There are two versions of this: one with Pitbull and one with Iggy Azalea. Unfortunately for me, that's like trying to pick a fart over poop. I'm reviewing the far more popular one with Iggy Iggs.

I'm not going to go knee-deep into this, for two reasons. One because the title alone should explain the song. Two because the last time I did that with Blood on the Dance Floor's It's On Like Donkey Kong, I killed myself twice over.

The beat is absolute trash. It's this high synth that quickly gets higher. And it never stops. It's annoying. It's minimalistic and yet it's too presentative.

I don't even hate JLo's part of the song that much: it's just generic. But the hook is one of the worst ever created. It's literally what sounds like a mesh between Jen and Iggy saying "Big big booty but(t) you got a big booty" UNTIL THE END OF TIME. PRETEND LIKE YOU HAVE ARTISTIC INTEGRITY!!!! This is trash! I'm not expecting a masterpiece, just the bare minimum. Apparently both of your skulls are too thick to understand that.

Iggy's verse is the second worst part of the song: "They beggin' me to drop down on it but right now Iggy on the top/The last time the world seen a booty this good, it was on Jenny from the block/I got 'em going crazy lately/But baby knowin' that only make me/Wanna tell all of my ladies to get up on the floor and just shake it, shake/Ya'll know what I've been on, ya'll know that I've been on/I'm queen big booty Iggy, now find me a throne to sit on/Girls with the cheeks, put 'em hands in the air/Then pop that, pop, let 'em know that you in here/See everybody wanna get a taste/You know that we've got enough to share/But fact we girls with the big bad beat too fancy to ever play fair". Hey, thanks Iggy, I didn't know Lopez was on the song, you halfwit. It's pathetic that Iggy's flow is actually better than normal. Also, did you have to advertise your song right as the verse ended (oh well, at least it's not like Big Sean in 2012 who kept mentioning that he made Dance (A$$) a year before, it's like the songwriter was playing tricks on him, as if they hate him as much as I do). Did you seriously admit to having enough, ahem, "booty" to share but decided to be a jerk and not share it?

I never considered Iggy Azalea to be good, but this is her worst appearance yet. As for JLo, it's by far her worst, as a heavily mediocre artist with nothing to offer, no personality, no charisma, and no distinctiveness from much better singers like Christina Aguilera. This is an obvious -2/5, and I don't plan on putting Lopez under the scope again.


The most generic butt song to date, more generic than anaconda (not worse) - Martinglez

Well there's this one song that repeats, "bubble butt, bubble bubble bubble butt" to oblivion, so...no. - WonkeyDude98

Bubble butt also has a classic line that says "Stephen Speil-nigga" - SirSkeletorThe3rd

Come on, the worst is clearly "she's gotta big booty so I call her "big booty"". - Swellow

I'm pretty sure Birthday Song is not really a butt song. - WonkeyDude98

Well, I count it as one. - Swellow

Did Iggy just say something about the only decent J.lo song? - Swellow

it's on the floor - ProPanda

You're going to absolutely love this...

You thought that J-Lo and Iggy were the only ones without artistic integrity? Well, ELEVEN individuals wrote this song. ELEVEN DAMN PEOPLE sat at a table and the BEST they could come up with was "Big big booty, but you got a big booty (work)."

Here I was thinking that nine writers for "Pretty Girls" was ridiculous. This is even MORE galling. - DCfnaf