WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: I Am A God

WonkeyDude98
DISCLAIMER: I can't stand Kanye and don't know anything about him, so there might be a lot of factual errors.

So, Yeezy. Yeezus. Ye. Kanye West. The guy who is a world-renowned rapper and producer who's been in relationships with Beyonce and Kim Kardashian, and is running for president in 2020.

Ye's rap career boomed in 2004 when he released his debut LP College Dropout. It was considered one of the most influential rap albums of the decade. Then he released Graduation which was arguably better than his debut. His production on both albums gave him the reputation of one of the best producers of all time despite being decidedly average in the lyrical department.

Then he started losing relevance in music when he started releasing albums that were....a little underwhelming compared to his previous discography, but were still positively received.

Then Yeezus released in 2013. And what was considered a highlight on the album? I Am A God.

From the title it is already Kanye's style and personality; arrogant and condescending. But let's give it a listen. So you expect awesome production, right? Kanye's strongest and mainly only relevant point? Boom. You get smacked with the weirdest beat rise possible, followed by a low buzz of a synthesizer that sounds like a horror soundtrack. Then after another beat rise, we get faced with an unheard of singer who sounds like Fetty Wap if he lost 30 IQ points. He has no rhythm or melody to his voice, and he just spouts nonsense. Then another beat rise happens and then Kanye starts shouting "I am a god" ad nauseum above tons of beat rises and horrific synth buzzes. Question for Kanye:

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO DESERVE THE TITLE OF A GOD?!?! At least when Eminem called himself a god in the deeply egotistical Rap God, he made sure he proved he was worthy of the title. This is Lil Wayne/Jay-Z level of an inflated ego. Then he goes all out Kanye and demands stuff (Hurry up with my dang massage/Hurry up with my dang menage/Get the Porsche out the dang garage) (removing curses intentionally). Like he deserves all this when all he can do is produce, which he epically fails in doing here.

Then he starts delivering some of the most mediocre rhymes I've ever seen with such a restricted flow (I am a god/Even though I'm a man of God/My whole life in the hands of God/So y'all better quit playing with God/Soon as they like you make 'em unlike you/Cause kissing people as is so unlike you/The only rapper who compared to Michael/So here's a few hating-as peoples who'll fight you/And here's a few snake-as peoples to bite you) (removing constant swears). Rhyming God with God four times and then rhyming "unlike you" with itself, then "Michael" then "fight you" then "bite you". I've seen Soulja Boy drop cleverer rhymes.

The beat stays consistently the same. Then this bar shows up (I just talked to Jesus/He said, "What up, Yeeus?"/I said "Yeah I'm chillin'/Tryna stack these millions"). Mind you, this is considered the best four bars on this song, which is considered a highlight of Yeezus. This is pathetic. What is the best way to brag about money? Bring Jesus into it.

After that, then repeating a couple bars from the first verse (but instead of saying "Hurry up with my dang menage/Get the Porsche out the dang garage" he says "In a French-as restaurant/Hurry up with my dang croissants). THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THE SONG. OR ANYTHING.

You might be wondering, this can't get any worse. Well if you thought that, you were wrong. DEAD wrong. Ye repeats "I am a god" four more times, and at the fourth time the beat drops and his voice becomes much deeper. This is the traumatizing, ear-splitting noise you hear next:

AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!! AAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!! AAHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Kanye screams in the most horrific way possible. He does this twice mind you, so the torture isn't short. Both times he does it there are equally horrific beats and silences, and there are also blackouts for the screams, perhaps a glitch in the messy production. The second set of screams is also packed with exaggerated panting. The screams are possibly the second worst noise ever recorded, behind the entirety of FACK by Eminem and virtually any noise Nicki Minaj makes.

Then there is a little voice at the end of the fest saying "Ain't no way I'm giving up, I'm a god". What is there to give up on? Kanye's already given up on his image and talent, really there's nothing more to give up on. It's your Eminem-bashing cancerous fans who will defend any of his work, even if it is awful. (Keep in mind I'm not mad for them hating on Eminem: he's not flawless)

It's bad enough this song is an atrocity, but there are two things that ultimately make this at the same level of deserved respect as 2 Chainz for me: 1) It's Kanye doing it. If it were someone with talent then it wouldn't be as bad, mind you it would still be a migraine to listen to. 2) It's the first legitimate bad song I ever listened to. I found it on Genius when I looked at the annotation for Kendrick Lamar's shout at the end of this epic remix of Radioactive by Imagine Dragons.

There is absolutely no redeeming this dribble, it's a -2/5 no question. Kanye...stop making music.

Comments

Whoah whoah whoah whoah
Imma gonna let you finish but this is the BEST COMMENT OF ALL TIME - Martinglez

At first I thought you were talking about No Love by Eminem which has the line "Imma let you finish in a minute but I'm about to spit the greatest verse of all time" right AFTER he says "Where is Kanye when you need him? " Lol.


Anyway yeah, best comment of all time. *tips hat* - WonkeyDude98

Nice analysis, I haven't seen a review as good as this in a long time. Can you review Runaway by Kanye West, the full version? It's my pick for the best rap song of all time, and that's saying something. I'll make a post for it soon. - yaygiants16

Thanks! I'll admit this isn't my best review, honestly. I don't stand by a lot of things I said (such as Kanye being talentless) and the other half wasn't factually correct.

And I'll try, I'm busy. - WonkeyDude98

Yeezus is probably more overrated than Hello.

Well at least I'm not the only one who thinks Kanye going downhill

Speaking of Eminem why do people think Shady is going downhill?

Besides I've never caught Kanye play Mario Kart so I don't know what's he doing - AlphaQ

Your first mistake was hating Kanye West. - WonkeyDude98

Did you figure out the whole idea behind the song? This song is super egotistical, but believe it or not, EVERYONE is a god. God made humans in HIS image. Man, I forgot the Bible scripture to this...

I'm no minister or nothing, but yeah, that's basically what Kanye was referring to. He clearly knows he's not literally God Himself - Mcgillacuddy

Could also refer to his very high status in pop culture. - SwagFlicks

Okay first off, why are you commenting on this god-awful post?

Second, I don't care, it sounds TERRIBLE. - WonkeyDude98

Haha, "god" awful. - ProPanda

kys - WonkeyDude98

Well, it's just the fact that it seems like almost EVERYONE takes Kanye's worst the wrong way. - Mcgillacuddy

*words - Mcgillacuddy

This song and review is “god” awful lol. - AlphaQ

"virtually any noise Nicki Minaj makes"



made my day - ProPanda

Don't read this review - WonkeyDude98

It was funny, not in a bad way... - ProPanda

Lol this song is so distorted. -1/5 from me. - AlphaQ

P