Worst Lines of Dialogue from SpongeBob SquarePants

I am also including parts of lines and songs. At some parts, I have edited some of the lines if they were too long or excessive.

The Top Ten

1 "Gary! You put Puffy Fluffy down right now!" - Spongebob, A Pal for Gary

Worst. Episode. Ever.

In the scene, Puffy Fluffy, SpongeBob's new pet, has turned into a hulking beast and is strangling Gary. When SpongeBob sees this, he acts so stupid the audience wants Puffy Fluffy to strangle him too. Even SpongeBob did this before in the episode, it could be seen as a careless mistake. However, when it gets to this part, it get infuriating.

So infuriating. Why was SpongeBob this retarded anyway?

This episode is so horrible. - Lasvegasxavier

2 "Looks like you guys forgot your boat smarts!" - Spongebob, Boat Smarts

It sounds so flipping arrogant. - IcetailofWishClan

This is bad because it comes right after literally nothing but five and a half minutes of Squidward getting tortured for doing the right thing. These forms of torture include getting macerated by a spiked roller, crashing into a wall (because of SpongeBob's carelessness), and crashing his car in a huge traffic accident (also caused by SpongeBob). That last scene with the city-wide traffic crash is where SpongeBob delivers this line, which the accident was caused by him but refuses to accept that.

Oh my god I wanted to break my T.V. after this line.

Never mind...

3 "You can't always expect my usual stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes" - Patrick, The Card

Yeah, I do agree that the fourth wall is broken here. - IcetailofWishClan

While the Enterbots on here get triggered by this line and take it way too seriously, I see this line for what it is: Meta humor. Patrick's not a sociopath. He's just an idiot and this line is meant to be a humorous remark to Patrick's stupidity from himself. There was even a line in pre movie SpongeBob where Patrick acknowledges his stupidity.

Sandy: Don't you have somewhere else to be stupid?
Patrick: Not until 4.

See people thought that particular line was comedy gold cause it's from pre movie SpongeBob. If it was from a post movie episode, people would be triggered by that in a heartbeat. This just goes to show the bias that Enterbots have towards post movie SpongeBob. They're not all that bad. People like Casey Alexander, Zeus Cervas and Richard Pursel aren't evil sociopaths who deserve to be blacklisted. The Enterbots are just saying that cause they didn't like those episodes.

This means that all of Patrick's stupidity is intentional. Enough has been said.

I think this is breaking the fourth wall because Patrick is somewhat dumb in some episodes and in others he is the dumbest ever.

4 "Haven't you learned anything about sharing?" - Patrick, Your's, Mine, and Mine

Not ONE line is worse than this! At least the one from The Card where Patrick pretty much admits he feigns his stupidity is a pretty smart fourth wall break. And "You put Puffy Fluffy down" is funny in a "so bad it's good" sort of way. THIS line however pretty much outs Patrick as a selfish immature child.

This is the last line of an episode where Patrick does anything but share.

Worst line ever

5 "Go away, cheese head! Can't you see I'm trying to get run over!" - Plankton, One Coarse Meal

The WORST Spongebob quote by far. Though the "I guess crying does solve your problems after all" quote is both cheesy and has lousy messages, this is a downright suicide joke, which is the worst kind. - Emberflight_of_StormClan

Plankton clearly wants to die. How can it get any clearer than that?

The worst... THE WORST... quote from SpongeBob. - Minecraftcrazy530

Do I even have to say it... - Garythesnail

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6 "I guess crying does solve your problems after all." - Spongebob, Stuck in the wringer.

Yeah, crying does solve your problem (sarcasm) - Delgia2k

This is not a good message for the kids.

They can't do morals right. - DapperPickle

7 "I've been doing some calculating and it turns out that I'll save a whole nickel if I cut your salary completely." - Mr. Krabs, Spongebob, You're Fired.

That's just lazy writing. Maybe the Krusty Krab could've went on fire but nope, A NICKEL. - Puga

Definitely Mr. Krabs' cheapness at his worst, laying off his best worker over a nickel.

8 boom-boom-itis" -Purple Doctorfish, Squid Baby, and "Severe-oral-report-itis"-Sandy, Oral Report - Tie between "Head - go

Both have the same problem, they put "itis" at the end of a word to sound smart, when it does the opposite thing, especially for the first one.

-itis DOES NOT MEAN DISEASE! It means inflammation stupid

9 "Being unemployed is the best gig!" - Patrick, Spongebob, you're FIred

Again, not a great message for the kids.

This was shown on the news before. I'm dead serious. They really did.

10 "I'm sorry, Plankton, but that flies in the face of my good nature". - Spongebob, One Coarse Meal

A very hypocritical thing to say

SpongeBob has done things contradictory to his good nature, such as sabotaging Squidward to win "Employee of the Month," and trying to get Patrick arrested for speeding, out of jealousy in "Driven to Tears" and ETC.

That is why this quote is the most infamous of all that was ever said in the SpongeBob world.

I don't mind this line.

This makes SpongeBob sound like a hypocrite because literally in the same episode, he sabotages the same person he said that line to.

What about that time you ripped off Squidward's toenail in House Fancy. Stalking Squidward in Boating Buddies. Ruined his day in Choir Boys. Letting your pet snail get tortured for absolutely no reason. From Mr. Enter, "SpongeBob, you have no good nature! Satan asks you for pointers."

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The Contenders

11 Now I have a captive audience! - Choir Boys

Living prove that SpongeBob is torturing Squidward on purpose.

12 "Is mayonnaise an instrument?" Patrick, Band Geeks

I don't understand why people think this line is funny. Its' a giraffe! is funny.

I would enjoy Band Geeks a lot more if this overrated line didn’t exist. - ForestFeline

I don't think it's overrated, but I do agree that what Plankton says before it is better. "Do instruments of torture count? " - IcetailofWishClan

This line is a classic!

This line is one of the many reasons for why band geeks is the worst episode ever.

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13 "Why are you still alive!" - Mrs.Puff, Demolition Doofus

I can't believe this is in a kids show! Whoever wrote this episode should be fired. This is even worse than A Pal for Gary and Choir Boys!

You know, for kids!

14 "CHOCOLATE!" Tom - Chocolate with Nuts

Whoever chose this should die in Peter Rabbit's universe (nick)

I hate you this is the funniest spongebob line ever

15 "Really, he's a mess!" - Mr. Krabs, One Coarse Meal

Krabs, you do know that driving someone to suicide is murder right? So that means you would go to jail, you soulless Crustecean Cheapskate!

Why does this have to exist. Mr.Krabs is an absolute sadist

16 Tummy want more - Patrick, Smooth Jazz at Bikini Bottom

Seriously Patrick?

When I first heard Patrick say this I wanted to shove poop into his mouth. Does your tummy want that?!

I wanted to punch Patrick when he said that.

17 "it's not your body that's the problem. It's your heart." - Villager, Stuck in the Wringer

Why would people even do this? SpongeBob finally calls Patrick put, and what does everyone do? Say SpongeBob was the bad guy and that he deserved what he got. People are idiots...

That villager was Sandals, the surfer fish who said "TOAST" in the Pranks-a-Lot episode (not the laughing one, that's Scooter). I really liked Sandals but now he's one of my least favourite townspeople...what a bummer. - Cesium

I wanted to nuke that theme park after hearing that! This should be higher than #11.

18 "And it's sweet, sweet, sweet victory, yeah!" SpongeBob - Band Geeks

Whoever made this list must really hate SpongeBob!

This is a troll!

What? This is the best quote in SpongeBob history.


19 "I don't care, this is so worth it!" - Little Yellow Book

I love this line

20 Cook me up a Krabby Patty...with good old Fifi! - Patrick
21 "Now that's what I call a Viking-sized adventure!" - Spongebob, Dear Vikings
22 "Zzbbb.....more cards..." Mermaid Man, The Card

The line that shows Patrick as an idiot from Seasons 6-7

23 Now you're stuck FOREVER! - Patrick "Stuck in the Wringer
24 "There appears to be a little bit of swelling. This garbage compress should help that go down." - Patrick, "The Splinter"
25 "Would you get out of here?" "I doubt it." - Squidward and Patrick, Tentacle-Vision

Why does this one make me laugh for some reason? - IcetailofWishClan

26 How pathetic. - Patrick, Dumped
27 HELP? I've think you've helped quite enough today. - Mr Krabs to Spongebob & Spongebob to Patrick, Stuck in the Wringer

First of all, Mr Krabs is misblaming Spongebob for causing the mess when it was actually Patrick's fault for permantly gluing Spongebob to the wringer. Also, Spongebob should've told Patrick that earlier in the episode and not 1-2 minutes before the end.

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Related Lists

Top Ten Best Lines of Dialogue from the Star Wars Prequels Top Ten Best Lines of Dialogue In the Fairly Oddparents Best Lines Said On SpongeBob SquarePants Top Ten Best Lines In SpongeBob SquarePants Season 2 & 3 Episodes Top 10 Songs Featuring Dialogue

List Stats

100 votes
27 listings
4 years, 88 days old

Top Remixes

1. "Looks like you guys forgot your boat smarts!" - Spongebob, Boat Smarts
2. "You can't always expect my usual stupidity. I like to mix it up. Keep you on your toes" - Patrick, The Card
3. "Gary! You put Puffy Fluffy down right now!" - Spongebob, A Pal for Gary


Error Reporting

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