Depression

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I'm 17, I've been diagnosed with depression and anxiety since I was 14. Now I know I'm young and many people will think that this age is the prime of your life's with nothing to worry about, no jobs no money concerns everythings fine but my depression has destroyed me. It has reared apart my life and made everything harder to cope with, I'm slowly dying on the inside but no one can tell because my physical appearance is still mutual. I feel as if day by day a part of me stays behind and dies and that one day I'll take my life without even thinking of my loved ones, the hardest part is people not understanding, thinking I'm just normal like everyone else but they don't get the pain and the struggle of going to sleep at night and hoping that you don't wake up in the morning, walking downstairs and staring at a mirror until you think you look happy or sane enough to state your own mother in the eyes and say "good morning, how are you" without spitting out the fact that you feel as if you ...more

I'm 14 Years old lets just say I haven't had the best of life... Depression is a curse and it hurts when you can't tell anyone that you have it... You have to be strong because you're the strongest and your friends are falling apart and your there to catch them but who is there to catch you? I have depression... According to my therapist and Physiologist They say I have the worst they have ever seen.. It's gotten so bad recently That my dad and mom have to convince me to get out of bed in the morning.. And when I do get up I have to put on this mask... a mask that has to fool everyone... I have scars on my body... scars of the stories that I will never tell... I'm the popular girl in school and yet nobody notices how broken I really am inside... With depression + the other things I have it is the worst thing to have... It kills you inside and my wish is how I wish that everybody wouldn't have to feel this but instead of a dream come true... My worst nightmares come alive - Emily677

There are two parts of you when you have depression the part that is telling you to die and the part that is yourself. People get those confused and often don't get the true meaning of depression. Depression is not just something you feel it is a whole different part of you saying for you to go and die. It doesn't matter how happy you are in life if you have depression it breaks you and the unlucky ones with the worst of it and have a harder time don't make it. For me this is the worst disease because it killed my father. He had bad depression and couldn't take it any more so on the day before father's day he took his own life. I believe no other diseases are as sad as this lost because most of the time they aren't sudden you are prepared, this however I was walking on a thin rope that I didn't know when or if it would break. But that rope got stomped on and broke and that's how I lost my father at twelve years old, to soon. - morgs

Depression is especially hard on me because I am shy. I am a coward. I am afraid to do anything that will possibly have an affect on me, and I am constantly pissed off at everyone for no reason. I've been going through this for years, and it is one of the worst feelings ever. I'm too afraid to get treatment because the last time I saw a counselor/therapist, someone called the cops on me. Depression is one of the worst pains ever, and it has turned me into a complete nervous wreck. I've gone through everything. Suicidal thoughts, sexual thoughts, uncontrollable anger, anxiety attacks, sadness, loneliness, everything. I just hope everyone can eventually pull through this ordeal. - benhos

Depression is bull. Is a curse to this world. For me my depression came in stages and now it's at is absolute worst. First I get angry, then I get sad, like REALLY sad. But now I feel nothing. I put on this goofy mask, I smile, joke around and help others. But I feel nothing now. Intense sadness isn't the worst. Apathy is. I don't care about my life now because nothing really matters. Each day is a drag. I'm not really living. I consider myself dead. The only reason why I'm still alive is cause my family and friends. The emotion I have left is still there. But some days I wonder if it's really worth it. Life is a gift for some. But it's a curse for me. It's a debate every day. The worst part is that no one seems to notice. Sometimes I wonder if it is actually worth it. Life is meaningless.

I have suffered from depression for multiple years. It got especially bad last year. I couldn't go to class, I was failing my classes, I couldn't function and I just wouldn't get out of bed. I self-harmed, and all I thought was how dying would be so much better. Imagine feeling this sad, empty, loneliness deep within you, that lasts for weeks, months, and you have no idea why. You can't get rid of it. It hits you unexpectedly and you don't know which day will be a good day and which day will be a bad day. Uncontrollable crying, anger, anxiety, hopelessness, feeling like a failure. And the worse part is that no one really takes depression seriously because the word is used so lightly these days.

You never know what depression has for you, you feel as the love surrounding you is a lie, you feel guilty OF EVERYTHING; guilty because you don't serve love, you don't deserve a house, you don't deserve food because you're a horrible human being. You feel blue, empty, sad and every little thing makes you loose control. I had an immense fatigue, I couldn't even get out of bed, not even to move in the bed, I remember being there with some sad music on just planing my suicide. I slept for 14 to 15 hours and I started failing at school and profesionals thought I had SAD (seasonal affective disorder). I had psychosis episodes which was a living nightmare...some said it was a self steem issue and no...I had been hospitalized for suicide attempts, I had hypnosis sessions, a lot of meditation and mindfulness, I had interferential current seccions for treating my brain, and A LOT of medications for schizophrenia and depression. It has been 2 years since my first depression break down, I'm not ...more

I have depression. And it's a complete hell. I cry every night. I can't sleep. I have constant thoughts of killing nyself. The tears and voices never stop. I feel like I'm nothing and that I should just kill myself. Nobody knows, because I am a coward. I know I have it, even though I wasn't diagnosed. I am miserable. I am dead. I feel so lonely. And unloved. And empty. Depression has destroyed me. I can't cope. My life is in pieces. My heart is broken. I have no one. I've gone insane. I have voices in my head. They laugh at me when my friends ditch me. They say stuff like, 'You're worthless', 'You're not good enough', 'No wonder they don't like you..' I have lost my mind. My life is hell.

"Depression isn't just sadness. It is emptiness, it is misery. It is pain and nothingness at once. When you are truly depressed you lack the ability or will to cheer yourself up. No one just 'has depression. ' You suffer from it. "-Quote from a deviantart article by pixijane

I have depression and it's terrible. My mom won't believe me because she thinks I'm over dramatic. My dad don't give a hell about us and I told my friends and now every time I try to give them an advice they'd be like "don't tell us what to do! You're mentally unstable and you can barely handle yourself". I self harm and I tried commit suiciding but it never work and I'm honestly just sick of this world. I have nothing no friends anymore I'm just a robot and it's driving me crazy I can't be normal and that suck. I don't have depression only, I'm disgouned with bipolar disorder and social anexity. I have no life, nothing to hold on. I've been this way for two years now and having these mental disorders without getting the real treat is awful believe me. I hope I can have a real life one day.

I found out that I have depression 6months ago. Along with the depression I have Insomnia and Anxiety disorders. It's definitely a rollercoaster that never stops. One minute you'll feel fine and then a wave of sadness just crashes over you. There's always that thought in your head "I'm not good enough", "I deserve this pain". Suicide feels like the only option. Self harm makes you feel relieved. Pushing people away makes you feel better about yourself - but only for a few minutes and then you start to hate youself again. It's so difficult to hide the pain you're feeling inside.

My depression is deep within me. It likes to hide around my friends, family, and even the one I love most. Everyone in my graduated class wrote in my yearbook saying that I always seemed happy, having a smile on my face or even having a bright,upbeat personality. I tell you that my depression makes me feel like that my purpose in life was to die at a very young age. It makes me believe that if I left this world I would finally be happier. everything is bottled up inside, and once something triggers it I become the very person I never wanted to be... suicidal.

My friend had depression and hide it for years and killed himself a few years ago since then I had my battles with Depression and drugs waking up form nightmares enough to make me scream it feel's worst then being in prison some people say it's fake but it's one of the scariest thing in my life I was in only 6 grade when it started I'm in 11th now I quit drugs but I still have the nightmares - donovanthorn

I'm 13, and I've been diagnosed with four different types of depression. I would cry all night into my pillow, then barely get up in the morning. I put on the same face everyday, the smiling girl who liked puns, I was surprised no one could see through it. After two long years and four times of trying to kill myself I finally got help. Depression is the worst thing that has ever happened to me. You feel nothing but pain and misery. All of your happiness in gone. You feel worthless. I have scars; not only phisical, but mental too.

I went through an episode of depression from when I was about 12 until I was 15 (when I started getting treatment). I wanted to die and absolutely loathed myself. It was impossible to see any good in myself. It was by far the worst time of my life.

A way to describe depression is you are drowning in silence without the water nobody knows how bad you are getting how suicidal you are you hide you identity and emotion behind that fake smile you put on every day but eventually it becomes to much the thoughts become to overwhelming and you feel the only way to be happy is to commit suicide.

Oh my god I have this!
So much trauma has happened to me. Some people don't even care if I die. I'm always tired and I want to die because I have no purpose in life. I cut sometimes. It hurts so bad. I feel like nobody cares about me and it's me against the entire world. Nobody knows hoe horrible and traumatic this is. - AnnieCallie

Depression is not "special".

Anxiety is not "cute".

Self harm scars are not "beautiful".

Suicide is not "poetic".

Eating disorders are not "glamorous".

Schizophrenia is not "trendy".

MENTAL ILLNESSES ARE NOT "COOL". DON'T TREAT THEM LIKE THEY ARE. - ItsPisces

I think I have Depression. I consider myself as useless and garbage. I can't trust people, so I am a little bit of Anti-Social. I don't like talking with people and I have Social Anxiety... too... I envy those people who have friends and sometimes thinking about suicide... - GirlyAnimeLover

Its like a rollercoaster for me. You don't know when its going to happen, but when it does it feels like nothing matters, like I don't matter anymore. It feels like no one even understands you, so whats the point of living anyway, is what you you tell yourself.

Depression is basically having your happiness sucked away and having it replaced with pure misery and emptiness. I've had this since I was 11 and it isn't nice at all. - ItsDaWorldOfSNuGGLEZ

Depression alongside with anxiety makes me feel nothing, no motivation to continue, and makes me hugely suicidal, it's like this black canvas of nothing this dull humming sound that plays in the background of everything

Depression kills. People suffer from these every single day and some commit suicide. I am worried for my friend who claims to have one. He said he might commit suicide and pretty much I don't want that

Depression is horrible. It's awful to try to escape it, and even harder to actually do. The fact that it can drive you to cut your own skin to relieve the pain should put it on the top ten list.

When it gets really bad you just don't care about life anymore. You just sit there waiting to die for real, cause you're already dead inside.

P