Top 10 Worst Metal Lyrics

Just because I have created "Worst Metal Music Videos" and "Worst Metal Lyrics" after each other does not mean I am doing some campaign against metal on this site. These two lists are obviously for metalheads themselves, since they are the ones who can actually name their ten least favorite metal music videos/lyrics.

Some rules for the list:

1. You can add anything that you think is metal, but don't criticize already added items for not being metal according to your rules. Most users with at least half a year of experience on this site have already learned that nu-metal, metalcore, deathcore and the rest was created by the devil (isn't he a good guy in metal though?), and don't need an explanation every time there is an item from these genres on a list

2. Don't add generic hateful or satanic lyrics unless there is some extra horribility to them, because they can be found in insane quantities, and flooding them will make the list monotonous and boring.

3. Use the format that you see here: lyrics without quotation marks, space bar, hyphen, space bar, song title, band in brackets

The Top Ten

1 She's got legs... like an airship, She's got an arse.... like coal tip, She's got t***... just like hot air balloons - Nodding Donkey Blues (Iron Maiden)

Yep, #2 is Iron Maiden. Since this song is a B-side, and Iron Maiden hasn't done a serious non-cover B-side song since the Total Eclipse in 1982 and they seem to make B-sides for the sole purpose of trolling their fans (much like Anthrax), I assume this song is some sort of parody as well, but even that's no excuse for these lyrics, which sound like they belong in a cornier AC/DC song, except way worse.

I like that you point out that you are not making this list and the previous one because of disliking metal. Plus the fact that you have at number 2 lyrics from a band that I think you like overall. As for the item yeah that is terrible.

What were Iron Maiden thinking? A band who wrote amazing lyrics about war and history made this?

It was presumably written as a joke, but that still does not save it

Not all of their war and history lyrics are amazing though, the ones to Alexander the Great sound like a 5th/9th grade essay

2 She grabbed my c***, So I grabbed my glock - Type a Secretor (Waking the Cadaver)

I didn't know if I should have expected more from a genre called "slamming brutal deathcore" lyrically, but I always take a moment to think when I see these lyrics if "brutal" music really needs these types of lyrics to fit in. Sure, I'm not expecting love songs, but these type of lyrics have got old since the early 1990s, and now there is no way you can be more brutal or more outrageous than everybody before, because - as seen above - everything in this lyrical theme has been already used by thousands of death metal bands. Why do bands in the 2010s still bandwagon on recycling the same words in metal lyrics over and over again (e.g. "pain", "flowing through my veins", "nowhere to hide", "bloodthirst" etc.)? And why are fans interested to hear the exact same lyrics after 20 years in their preferred genre?

The above contemplation is not closely related to this particular "lyrical" line, just a general question I can't answer myself.

3 Anthrax and Motörhead! Exodus, Slayer, bang your head! - Army of One (Annihilator)

I admit it's extremely difficult to make a meta(l) song about metal that isn't cheesy, maybe even impossible, but these lyrics together with the chorus "We stand united for something we believe in, We are the army of one" makes metal look like some secret community of children that could come from a late 19th century novel.

The song itself is a 0/10 as well, the singer sounds monotonous and weak, the chorus sounds like children's music.

4 My nipples explode! You're just a war toy. Let's all go drink and kill and fart. Yeah sure it's fun, but is it art? The All-Eye sees the butt disease. Humanity is on their knees - War Toy (Gwar)

Yeah sure it's fun, but is it art? Extra prompts for describing the process of writing your own lyrics

5 Trample down all pregnant women - Trample Down All Pregnant Women (Apator)

Apator is quite possibly the worst musician ever, his songs are just black metal-like shrieking except worse, without any instrumentals, and his lyrics are the song title repeated multiple times. And what song titles! Just take a look at the tracklist of one of his albums and you'll see this is one of the least Apatorish (I.e. both offensive and laughable) of them.

6 The stripes on a tiger don't wash away, Manowar's made of steel not clay! - Fighting the World (Manowar)

As a former regular reader of countryball comics this lyric is even funnier than it already would have been. I think we can all agree that bands shouldn't have their own name in the lyrics, or maybe just hidden trickily like you can hear "Dave Mustaine" instead of "deeper state" in Megadeth's Lucretia (is it just me?)

7 I hate the s***** economy, It might as well be sodomy! - Consfearacy (Slayer)
8 Just when I thought they knew the answers... I changed the questions! - Fatal Fury (Thrash or Die)

You can already know this song from my worst metal music videos list. Welcome back!

9 Manslayer! Die, die, die, die, die, die, die - Manslayer (Thrash Queen)

So I guess die is in metal lyrics what the n-word is in rap lyrics. The song is supposed to be some female superiority anthem with lines like "She'll munch you like a toad" and "Vengeance will never stop her, you nimrods".

10 What did I do? Lying in my bed! With a swollen head! - The Morning After (Tankard)

Ah yes, Tankard, the band who created their own genre of 'beer thrash', or 'alcoholic metal', although people on this site would argue it's not a genre since it's based on lyrical content. The whole song lyrics are about a guy waking up with a hangover, I assume some people find it entertaining but seriously, let's think about the moment they actually made these lyrics up in their mind and wrote them down.

The Contenders

11 I'm madly in anger with you - St. Anger (Metallica)
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