G-4rce Film Reviews: The Secret Life of Pets

Mcgillacuddy
Warning: this review may contain spoilers

McG back on the mic. No need for a long introduction here. I have not much else to say so let's just get into what you came here for...

Reception:
Rotten Tomatoes
Critics: 74% Mostly Positive
Audience: 66% Mixed to Positive
Metacritic
Critics: 61% Mixed to Positive
Audience: 6.0 Mixed to Positive

My Thoughts and Reviews:
Illumination Entertainment; the creators of the hit animated film Despicable Me. It's one of my more favored animated films of the last decade. I mean, the comedy and storyline are both well-done, and I had really high hopes for this animation studio. The Secret Life of Pets became a pretty anticipated movie for me. I mean, the first trailer already got me interested because it was so freaking funny. Now I finally watch the movie and here's what I think...

It sucked, okay? You've probably heard this one: "this is an animal version of Toy Story". To be honest, it really is. So here's the basic lowdown: a terrier named Max gets a new roommate who's a large shaggy dog named Duke. Max gets jealous and gets in a fight with Duke, they both end up getting lost (I know I'm writing like a 5th grader right now, but there's literally no better way to explain this), and then they finally make it back home to their owner. There's gotta be more to this, right? As a matter of fact, yes there is. So once they end up lost, Max and Duke get captured by animal control and, shortly after, are freed by Snowball and his homeboys who are a part of "The Flushed Pets", a cult formed by animals who hate humans because their members were abandoned or mistreated by them. Max and Duke actually lie to them just to be let loose from their cages, telling them that they murdered their owners, which actually made me laugh because the remark just came out of nowhere. Eventually, the cult quickly finds out that they were bitching around with them. Max and Duke make a quick escape after jumping in a large pool of sewer water. Why didn't Snowball and his gang follow them afterwards? They just stood there for a moment, pissed off that they "escaped". I mean, come on, you could've just jumped in there with them. Plot armor. Anyways, throughout the movie, they were out to capture and, yes, kill Max and Duke for punking them. That's not all; Duke's friend/girlfriend Gidget, a [really cute] white Pomeranian, finds out that Max and Duke are missing and she brings along Max's friends and a few other random characters to go find them. I also might want to add that when Duke and some of Snowball's friends are captured by animal control, and Snowball quickly decides to team up with Max to go save them without second thought. Oh no, it wasn't like "Screw you. I'mma shake ya up and leave your short ass here while I go save my homies and leave your bitch to rot in jail, hoe". Nope, he just makes friends with him just like that. It came out of nowhere, especially since he believed that Max killed the initiation member of the cult (yup, lots of murder themes in this film), who was a giant viper. But, I guess Snowball was meant to be an unpredictable character. He is played by the one and only Kevin Hart. This character showed even more promise for the film when I saw the trailer for him. I mean, come on, he's played by KEVIN HART, and the trailer was hilarious! Turns out, that one scene in the trailer was his biggest moment in the entire movie. He did not have an entirely major part in the film, and he felt like a character that was just thrown in there for extra laughs and because it needed some kind of villain, a cheap villain at that. Don't get wrong, he did have his moments here and there, but all the potential this character had was wasted with such little screen time and a few chuckle-worthy gags. The main character, Max, was also a bit of a douchebag. At the beginning of the movie, he acts like Woody from Toy Story, except worse. A new dog named Duke gets adopted, comes into the house and barely does anything and Max is already a prick. The owner even gave Duke an OLD BLANKET to sleep on while Max sleeps in his comfy bed, yet he's still pissed. He quickly gets over this attitude, though, after going on the journey back home and getting high in a sausage factory. No seriously, they get HIGH off of sausages. So you remember that scene from the Sponge Out of Water movie where Plankton goes into SpongeBob's brain, which is probably stoked on PCP 24/7, and he starts seeing all this crazy sh*t? Think of that scene, but make all of the characters sausages and you got what happened in Secret Life of Pets. There is a sad moment in the film, though... NOT. Duke makes a quick trip back to his old home to visit his old owner, but he finds out that his owner passed away, like I didn't see that coming. Seriously, I saw it coming from a mile away. Duke starts getting emotional and ends up getting caught by animal control again (leading to the scene where Snowball's friends get caught) and that's all you ever hear of his owner being dead. This whole incident is not even mentioned again for the rest of the movie. Seriously, guys? We're not gonna, like, reflect on this tragedy? We're not gonna let it marinate? Okay then. F*** you too. What about the other characters? Gidget was probably the most likable. She was a cute little dog, all fluffy and white and cute and eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee- oh, ahem, sorry bout that. Yeah, she was a'ight. Probably one of the more interesting characters of the movie but made very little impact of the main idea of the film. She goes to find Max and eventually does, but does she do anything afterwards? Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh........... no. She has no real significance in the film except to be a secret admirer for Max. That was about it. All of the other characters she brought along with her were pretty much the same exact way. They had no significance to the film's structure. They were just plain extras. Now is there anything positive about this film AT ALL? The comedy. That's it. There were a lot of well-thought-out gags in the film.

I had really high hopes for this movie, but turns out that it was a lazily-written film with nothing unique to bring to the table. It may appeal to a younger audience and maybe a few adults here and there, but it's an easily forgettable movie.

Overall Score 5/10 Mediocre:
It's a family-friendly and a somewhat harmless animated film ('somewhat' because of the scene where they get high), but was it anything special? Not really. It was hard to give this movie an overall score because I just had so many mixed feelings with it, contrary to why it took so damn long for me to get this review done. I had to really reflect on everything that was wrong with this movie. It's a 50/50 in my eyes. It's gonna hit with some people depending on what they prefer in an animated film, but with someone who's looking for things that make a movie really unique and special besides just comedic pleasure, this one doesn't hit with me. Like I said, it's a harmless film, filled with many jokes that will get you, but the plot is boring, unoriginal and it bites off of aspects from other animated films. The characters were also bland and uninteresting. IMO, I would say that Illumination is really known for the comedy structure in their films instead of their depth. I love Despicable Me 1 and 2, but their other movies ain't gonna be on my shelves. The Secret Life of Pets gets tossed.

It's almost 12:00, and I'm gonna be 19. As always, I'll check you guys in the next post!

Comments

I wasn't going to see this film to begin with, since I am not a fan of family animated films, and since the trailer didn't catch my interest. Other than that, good review! - SwagFlicks

Thanks - Mcgillacuddy

Yeah, I figured this movie would turn out mediocre. I won't be seeing it in the theater...or maybe ever. - visitor

I Liked This Movie, I Respect Your Opinion - VideoGamefan5

YES SOMEONE ELSE - visitor

Nah it's cool man. It was good for a lot of people but just not with me and I'm okay with that. - Mcgillacuddy

Okay. I would not say that this movie is a pile of garbage. Sing was definitely better than this, and this did have a great idea, but it was executed generically. I'd give it a 6 because it was just inoffensive, but a few would be left unfulfilled. For example, you were unfulfilled. That's why I'd give it that rating. Yes this movie was boring, but I (sorry) thought Suicide Squad was worse. Not a fair comparison but you know what I'm saying. - DCfnaf

Yeah, I get you. I watch cartoons and live action movies quite the same way, and I judge them mostly on how much they entertain me in general, but I also like to point out their flaws. I simply just overrated Suicide Squad. - Mcgillacuddy

I think you did overrate Suicide Squad, as the movie was such a hot mess (its number 6 on the best movies list? ) but there were moments in suicide squad where you could enjoy it. Either a 4 or 3 for me. Not sure though. But it was miles better than the Zack Snyder films. - DCfnaf

It was mean spirited. PS I'm making a list called "worst things about the secret life of pets". - Trollsfan536

It really distracted me how it really rips off toy story it would say 5 it you want to watch an animated movie, watch Kubo and the Two Strings - visitor

I Personally Thought It Was Great
A Solid 8/10 From Me - JPK

Eh, when I first saw it I liked it, but then when I watched it again and saw all of the reviews for it I realized how cringey it was. - Anonymousxcxc

I thought it was a dumb ripoff of toy story - BoyGenius234

I would give it a 3/10. - iliekpiez

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