Movie Review/Rant - Escape From Tomorrow

MegaSoulhero Warning: This review is the angriest you will ever see me. Also, there will be spoilers. Even though there’s not really much to spoil.

Well, it’s the first day of October. Which means it’s my birthday! Which also means it’s Disney World’s birthday! Which also means Halloween is getting closer! So I chose to review a movie that fits all of those categories. Escape From Tomorrow! Because it has a spooky kind of feel to it which makes it feel like a Halloween movie, it takes place at Disney World, and as for my birthday, well I’m a Disney fan. So there’s that. You’ve probably never heard of this movie. If not, that’s a good thing. Because IT SUCKS!!!!

I’m not gonna try to be soft on this movie! Everything about it is terrible! To sum up the plot, a family goes on a trip to Disneyland, the father gets fired from his job, the family spends time in the parks and things don’t go right! And most of the movie is that! And it is so AWFUL!!! Oh yeah, and the father follows these two French girls around. And I just want to point out that they are both TEENAGERS!!! Yeah! That’s creepy! The girls are hot, but the father is married! And has kids! The entire movie is shot in black and white and they try very hard to make it as creepy as possible! I’ll admit though. They captured how I view It’s a Small World. They succeed with the creepy atmosphere. In an absolutely awful way! Disney World is a real place! They’re basically turning the Happiest Place on Earth into the Unhappiest Place on Earth! Or is Disneyland the Happiest Place on Earth? There can’t be two I also get confused by that.

Speaking of which, despite the movie taking place at Disney World in Florida, you can tell that some scenes were shot at Disneyland in California! And it just doesn’t work because there are a lot of differences between the two theme parks and it becomes obvious which scenes were filmed in California! And I’m gonna list the inaccuracies right now! First of all, when they get off of It’s a Small World, it shows the large exterior of the ride even though WDW’s version is smaller than DL’s version and is tented! There’s a scene in which the father and the son are in line for Buzz Lightyear and you can see Star Tours in the background! Even though at WDW, Buzz Lightyear is in Magic Kingdom and Star Tours is in Disney’s Hollywood Studios! They ride Winnie the Pooh and you can tell it’s the one at DL because of the ride vehicle! The ride vehicle at DL is a bee hive and the vehicle at WDW is a honey pot! And finally, when they ride Soarin’, it’s obviously the one at DCA because there’s a sign that says “Soarin’ Over California” even though the one in Epcot is literally just called “Soarin’!

Those are the inaccuracies of the similarities between the parks, but there also inaccuracies with the parks in general! I would point out the music changes in some of the attractions, but it’s understandable why they did that. That doesn’t mean I like it though! One thing that really got on my nerves was the scene when the father was watching his daughter playing in Toontown! It shows us her goofing around and cuts to the father watching her while sitting on a bench. And right behind is the Finding Nemo ride! WHAT THE HECK!?!? That makes absolutely no sense and it made me furious! Oh! And another thing I want to point out is FINDING NEMO SUBMARINE VOYAGE DOESN’T EXIST IN WDW!!! Also, while the father and the son are waiting in line for Buzz Lightyear, the mother and the daughter ride at least three rides before the father and son get on the ride. That’s not even remotely possible! The Buzz Lightyear ride vehicles constantly move and they only stop to board handicap! I hate this movie so much!

There’s barely anything interesting that happens in the movie! None of the characters are interesting! Most of the movie is just them walking around doing things and having occasional arguments! And even in the scenes where stuff actually happens, IT MAKES NO SENSE!!! The father meets a woman with a suspicious looking necklace, they talk for a little bit, and then they have sex! I am not joking! That was one of the worst transitions I have ever seen! And it leads to the dumbest Disney related joke I have ever heard! “I think you found my hidden Mickey!” That Joke was so bad that I was tempted to turn off the movie! I didn’t because I really wanted to do this review. By the way, I think I should bring up the acting. Because it’s bad! Really bad! The guy who plays the father always talks in such a whiney tone! The mother most of the time overacts! Like after the father tells her that he lost his job while in Epcot! Her reaction was so unbelievable! And the kids, well, they’re kids. That’s all I can say.

Probably the most interesting thing that happens in the movie is when the father gets captured by Siemens. The company that sponsors, or as I should say sponsored, Epcot. This scene goes nowhere! It’s absolutely dumb! And when he frees himself by squeezing something that makes it look like he’s ejaculating, that scene isn’t brought up again! That was one of the strangest scenes I’ve seen in a long time! And the guy that captured him was a robot for some reason. That was pretty stupid. But the absolute worst part of the movie is the ending! WOW!!! Talk about an ending that makes no sense whatsoever! I’m not even entirely sure what happened! The woman we were introduced to earlier reveals she used to be a fairy in the parks and said she killed a girl by hugging her too hard. I’m facepalming really hard right now. Oh, and the father goes in the bathroom to take a crap and they actually show him on the toilet and we hear the grossest sounds possible! And we see him coughing up hairballs and blood and... I’m just gonna stop it right here!

Escape From Tomorrow is a horrible movie! So many inaccuracies and it makes it seem like Disney is an evil corporation! I want to point out that this movie was actually filmed without Disney’s permission. And Disney eventually did find out about it and chose to ignore it so it wouldn’t get so much attention. I don’t blame them! WE SHOULD ALL JUST IGNORE THIS MOVIE!!! It is not worth your time! It’s a film that shouldn’t get any kind of attention! Nothing about it makes sense! It’s insulting! And that is why Escape From Tomorrow is one of the worst movies of all time!

Score: 1/10

Comments

Nice rant. And also, happy birthday to you! - visitor (10/1/2017)

It is bad - visitor (10/1/2017)

You were more angry with The Emoji Movie. Though you were pretty angry here. - DCfnaf (10/3/2017)

You were defintely more angry in this review than I was in the Boy in the Striped Pajama review. Ouch. Also, do you ever give 0? - AlphaQ (12/2/2017)

I gave a 0 to Fifty Shades Darker, the Emoji Movie, and Happy Death Day. - MegaSoulhero (12/2/2017)

Disney and Mankurt Media had a fight. This movie is very creepy! Mankrut Media makes HORRIBLE films! They did this movie to mock Disney! - visitor (5/12/2018)

Not gonna lie, this movie is a guilty pleasure of mine. Not a great film by any means, but the movie doesn't take itself that seriously (I honestly consider it more of a comedy than a horror movie) and the cinematography is quite impressive for a guerrilla film (hence why I don't mind the obvious green screening). You have reasonable points and the movie is certainly flawed, but the way it experiments and it's such a mind-bender that I can't help but enjoy it. - nerffan8000 (5/15/2018)