WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: My X

WonkeyDude98
Just as a spoiler, this is not my last Rae Sremmurd post. No, there's one more coming straight after this.

Oh no....not again...please no. I already reviewed the artist in question and their debut album. But........there was one song that stood out in its awfulness. The song's name? Quite daring of you to ask.

My X.

Where...to even....begin. There's so many places to start. You know what, this beat blows, let's start with that. I said it once, I'll say it again; MIKE WiLL-MADE IT IS THE WORST PRODUCER OF ALL TIME!!!!!!! Yes, worse than DJ Mustard, Dr. Luke, and David Guetta. What even is this. What IS this GRATING, SLOW, CHUNKY, NON-CATCHY MELODY. It's a........one note tower bell followed by a one note synth that plays the entire song. HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHAHHAHAHAHA!!!! Congrats: you made party music unfun, Mike WiLL Made-It! Even better; THERE'S NO PERCUSSION!!!!!! Even better than that, every 16 seconds, THEY DECIDED TO IMPLEMENT A SYNTH LINE WHICH IS EARSPLITTINGLY HIGH, AS IF THIS WASN'T EMBARASSING AND GRATING ENOUGH.

Don't get me started on the performers. Swae Lee sounds like a high-schooler high on weed with a wrench applied between his thighs. And he's 19. Slim Jimmy is better (barely), but he sounds so gruff that it just sucks all the fun out of the song. BOTH of them are incredibly scathing to to the ear, and definitely belong nowhere near a mic. Combine all this with the autotune drizzled on their voice at parts, it seems like they're trying to be FUTURE and are overshadowed by him! (That's impossible)

The lyrics and flow are garbage, so the best part of the song. Swae and Slim either go way too fast to comprehend, or way too slow and choppy to ride the beat or even make the song sound fun. Their rhymes are garbage. Rhyming "b***h" with itself three times, and then "checklist"? Rhyming "defected" with "Cinderella"? Rhyming "red bottoms" with "sloppy"? I COULD WRITE BETTER RHYMES THAN THESE! The lyrics are....terrible, to be as generous as possible. They use the phrase "ex" at least 66 times, and the phrase "b***h" 87 times. The hook repeats the same phrase ("My ex b***h I'm shining on my ex b***h") eight times. Multiply that by three, and that annoying phrase is repeated 24 times.

The lyrics themselves range from sarcastically regretful to egregiously spiteful. This has got to be the worst breakup song ever created. The keep lashing out at this girl for leaving them, but they clearly show that she isn't important to them anymore. If there's one thing I hate, it's self-unaware inconsistencies. These lyrics are so contradictory they have to be self-aware, but lines like "now my money long real real real long and I just couldn't give two f***s" and "my new b***h, she lookin' like Cinderella" show that they are playing this completely straight. Also, "(HOOOOAAAAHHH) YOU SHOULDA HAD A CHECK B***H/YOU SHOULDA HAD A CHECK B***H/NOW I'M WIT' MY NEXT B***H/AND YOU JUST ANOTHA NAME OWWN DA CHECKLIST". This is just pathetic.

How...do I even....finish this. Well, this is an absolute travesty, for one. This is utter tripe, a sorry excuse for a song that, along with the rest of the SremmLife album, should've never even THOUGHT about being recorded and sold to the public who pay for this with money! Calling Rae Sremmurd talentless hacks is disrespectful to talentless hacks. I give this song a -5/5. Utter garbage. This is W....wait, there's one more Rae Sremmurd rant coming right next? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!! This...is...WonkeyDude...98...signing...out.

Comments

He should have called My X-traordinary bad song - Martinglez

WOAH - WonkeyDude98

Good one - bobbythebrony

Rae Sremmurd are like the male versions of Beyoncé; Both release awful songs but people still think they are appealing and cool. - Swellow

Unlike Beyoncé, they aren't even good looking enough to get attention. - WonkeyDude98

They have hair that look too much like pasta. - AlphaQ

That is, until Lemonade, because that was amazing. - Samosaurus

Alright - In hindsight, both are VERY mediocre artists, but their bad tends to outweigh their good. - Swellow

There's a kid in the intro of the song I think. I'm scared that THEY TOOK ONE AND RECORDED IT'S VOICE. - Hotheart123

I would shoot someone if My X had a sequel called My Y. They should also change the title to My X-tremely terrible job - AlphaQ

Mike WiLL Made It is like Disney - AlphaQ

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