WonkeyDude98's Formal Rage: Work From Home

WonkeyDude98
Hello again, everybody. After some thinking, I think 2016 has progressed pretty fast. And honestly, it's been a pretty good year. I've only barely filled out my worst list, and I've almost filled my best list out...twice over. It's truly been prosperous. That said, there were some truly vile material, since Rae Sremmurd and Soulja Boy won't go away, but you know what? I don't care, they aren't relevant anymore. How about an artist that is relevant. *sees who it is* Oh Dear Lord....

Fifth Harmony is no doubt the least interesting act of the past three years. Honestly, if it wasn't for the PussyCat Dolls' existence about a decade ago, Fifth Harmony would be infuriating, but instead they are pretty easy to ignore. Well, if you don't count their crazy nuts fanbase. But off topic, their newest hit Work From Home ft. Ty Dolla $ign (Or as I call him, Ty $) -- the only person who can pull of a dollar sign without looking tacky -- is in the top 20 now. And that's unfortunate.

This production is disastrous. Remember how I said Worth It sounded like absolute garbage? THIS IS EVEN WORSE. It's just a chintzy twinkly synth against literally nothing. NOTHING. It sounds like DJ Mustard tried to make a ballad. It doesn't work at all. And even then at least DJ Mustard had crowd chants and percussion, this doesn't even have that.

No performer here sounds good at all. Camila Cabello (also primarily responsible for bringing IKWYDLS by Shawn Mendes down) in the first verse...man she can one-up her insufferability can't she. Her voice is shrill, choppy, too high-pitched, and not controlled WHATSOEVER. CAMILA, JUST QUIT ALREADY, YOU ARE TERRIBLE! And in Worth It, AT LEAST THE PRECHORUS WAS GOOD!!!!!! THIS ONE IS BORING. As for the hook....yeah nice ripping off Rihanna's "Work", NOT EVEN TWO MONTHS AFTER IT BECAME A HIT!!!!!!! An dat least Rihanna used more than one tone. Ty $ is definitely too good for this, and better than Kid Ink on Worth It, but that's not really saying much, now is it?

These lyrics...these make Hey Mama look like We Don't Have To Take Our Clothes Off with how degenerating they are to literally everyone! So, what's it about? I'll show you some snippets, see if you can figure it out.

"I'm sending pic after picture, I'mma get you fired","Baby, you're the boss at home", "We can work from home", "I'll make it feel like a vacay, turn the bed into an ocean"

Didja catch it? If not, here's what it's about. THE MEMBERS OF FIFTH HARMONY WANT A GUY TO GET FIRED FROM HIS JOB SO THEY CAN....uh...you know. This is infuriating. Sorry to be that guy, but if he gets fired, HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SURVIVE?! What kind of sane woman would DO that?! This gets especially weird when you find out most of the writers are guys. Now, Ty $ has an almost tolerable verse, where he's simply requesting the girl to shake her butt. Nothing really to say other than TY. WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! I mean, you did out-awful Future and Rae Sremmurd, but GEEZ, why would you ruin yourself like this?

This song falls under the same representation as Hey Mama or Pretty Girls. It's not cute, it's not funny, it's not hot, THERE'S NO MERIT IN ANY OF THIS! The only reasons Fifth Harmony are popular are 1) Simon Cowell is a meathead who prefers talentless hacks like Cher Lloyd and Fifth Harmony over actual stars like Tori Kelly, and 2) Eye candy. The music video wasn't even that appealing, it was tryhard.

How can a band top something like Worth It with THEIR VERY NEXT SINGLE?! Whereas Worth It was a 0/5 when I reviewed it, this is a -1/5 for sure. Fifth Harmony are PussyCat Dolls wannabes, and even then at least they had a few good songs. (The following is not to be taken literally) Fifth Harmony can go kill themselves. And Ty $ can go bankrupt. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out.

Comments

Exactly. - RiverClanRocks

How? How are they still around? - Martinglez

Eye candy. enough said. - WonkeyDude98

What I find extremely funny is that this is only their second big hit so far and just like their last one, a clearly rips off another song. Wow, they've proven they can't even be original TWICE! - LJJ207

That's their formula. - WonkeyDude98

Simon Cowell has no reason to live. - Swellow

Well...that's brutal. - WonkeyDude98

It had to be said. - Swellow

Apparently these girls have one of the most rabid fanbases in music history. I gotta ask: Why? These girls range from just okay to flat-out awful vocally, and they have absolutely no personality besides the blatant sluttiness. - Zach808

It's an honor having one of the users I admire most comment on one of my posts. It might be because of their blatant sl**tiness. Some people find it hot...for some reason. - WonkeyDude98

Okay
I might be wrong about this, but Work From Home was actually written before Work, Rihanna just released it first
Also, 5th Harmony aren't bad Go listen to sledgehammer
With that said, this song sucks - ProPanda

I liked Sledgehammer actually. Other than that...they are horrible. BO$$, Worth It, Work From Home, I hate them all. - WonkeyDude98

2016 sucks in my opinion. Prince,Bowie,Glenn Frey,Ali,Nick Menza all died and while I've actually been able to tolerate a lot more pop music. (whether that's because pop's pickup its game or I am getting more open minded I don't know.) It's honestly been a pretty bad year. - MrQuaz680

Yeah, at this point I agree. Remember back in winter when this year had potential? - WonkeyDude98

I will defend Fifth Harmony until the day I day (or until I don't like them anymore) but even I can't defend this piece of crap. - ryansliao

Nice grammar

"day I day" - visitor

Then they made a song with fetty wap... that was nothing BUT sex appeal. Then the song gets voted 'song of the summer' (what) when fetty wap gets no credit. Even ty $ got credit for the undeserved award of whatever the f*** they got. Why! Fetty Wap's verse was what made the song up to meh tier. I mean, that song was tolerable ( Maybe? )But why couldn't they have made mamacita song of the year? - Hater

I want to kill something for enjoying this. Sing a song about wanting to have sex all day and get in the top 5. They need to listen to real music. - visitor

I'd rather listen to Work by Rihanna 100 times than this atrocity. - AlphaQ

Well, a year later, Camila Cabello made a far better song than the other girls did. - NiktheWiz

Pass me the bleach - Gangem

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