WonkeyDude98 Analysis: Just Like Fire, Try Everything, CAN'T STOP THE FEELING!WonkeyDude98 (Yes I know that the last review I did was an analysis, but if that ever happens, SwellowDude98 is bound to have an answer)
Hello everyone, as as I've been saying, 2016 has been a great year. The best country album in years dropped (Southern Family), Mike Posner got great, Justin Bieber became great instead of just being decent, the Chainsmokers actually broke through, Kendrick Lamar dropped an album of B-sides, Rae Sremmurd has flopped so far, Iggy Azalea faded quicker than she returned, and twenty-øne pilots are more popular than they have ever been. It's been a prosperous time. In particular, however, there's one thing about this year that has irked me.
The explosion of soundtrack fodder.
I've always had issues with songs from movie soundtracks charting. They A. Are generic and meaningless, or B. Have no relevance outside the movie. The movie industry spawned yawnfests like The Hanging Tree by James Newton Howard, Earned It by The Weeknd, Phenomenal by Eminem, and Immortals by FallOutBoy (Immortals isn't even that bad, it's just really disappointing). The only people who have made soundtrack music work more than once is Imagine Dragons, and that's because it's bound to work on more than one occasion when YOU'RE IN EVERY SOUNDTRACK IN EXISTENCE.
From 2016, three songs have defied my already low expectations of their kind. "Try Everything" by Shakira, "Just Like Fire" by P!NK, and "CAN'T STOP THE FEELING!" by Justin Timberlake, from the respective soundtracks of Zootopia (a movie I actually loved, probably going to be my favorite movie of the year), Alice Through The Looking Glass, and Trolls (ironic, since considering the hype behind CSTF, it seems like Justin trolled us with his bland trite).
Let's start with Try Everything, probably the worst of the three. Now, I consider myself to be kind of a Shakira fan. Hips Don't Lie, Wakawaka, Can't Remember To Forget You, that's just three examples of Shakira's greatness. But this....this is her worst song yet. Normally, I don't have an issue when popstars don't write their own songs, as usually the performer or writing has some kind of poise on its own. In Shakira's case, it doesn't. She didn't write this song, so it doesn't have any of her weird quirkiness that makes her so enjoyable, and the vocal production strips her of any personality. And the lyrics? Well they are incredibly standard and calculated, even by the standards of the filler that this song is. The thin "production" squeezes away whatever little memorability this song may have had to begin with.
Just Like Fire is next, it's easily the strongest of the three (which isn't saying much), and I actually liked it the first time I heard it. Then I realized NOTHING ABOUT THIS WORKS. The guitar is pointless and has no place on this psuedo-anthem, the percussion somehow overloads the mix by being barely there, and whatever melody may have existed is completely killed by the percussion. Now, I think P!NK is a phenomenal singer who is very emotional, whether she is going for the sweet endearing ballads like F***ing Perfect and Just Give Me A Reason, or cheesy/anthemic songs like So What or Won't Back Down (even though WBD bored me to tears). Any emotion she may have had either way is more or less gone here. She feels robotic.
CAN'T STOP THE FEELING! is the last on the table, the most popular, and probably the most memorable, though that's not saying much. Even as someone who has openly stated that he hates Justin Timberlake, this is his most gutless effort to date. His worst? Not quite. But as for the song, it's a mindless dance song. It even takes the percussion line from Can't Feel My Face by The Weeknd. While I may not have loved that song, at least it was tighter, had an actual melodical foundation, and had something to offer. Here, there is no melody line (unless you count that awful, barely audible runny synth on the chorus a melody). The lyrics here are the awkward and generic "come on and dance, let's touch a lot". I did like the bassline solo on the bridge, but that's it. Now I gotta ask: why was this bland shlock the hottest debut of 2016 alongside the actually incredible PILLOWTALK by ZAYN?
As for Try Everything and Just Like Fire, they are respectively Shakira and P!NK's worst song. But CSTF....it's only lower mid tier for Justin. Now, I don't hate any of these: it just bewilders me how songs so empty and hollow get so popular. Yeah, if I'm honest, it feels generous to give all of these songs 2/5s. This is WonkeyDude98, signing out.
Try Everything: 1.5/5
Just Like Fire: 2/5
Can't Stop The Feeling: 0/5 - Elina
I can see where you are coming from. - WonkeyDude98
CSTF has no substance whatsoever, I was supposed to give it a -1 actually, but it's too bland... - Elina
That's pretty brutal for just being a nothing song. - WonkeyDude98
That's why I gave it a ZERO. It's a nothing song. - Elina
Nothing songs are usually mediocre or just below mediocre (such as Fight Song by Rachel Platten, though everyone I know thinks it's the worst song ever created) - WonkeyDude98
I actually liked Fight Song when it came out. - Elina
So did I! It was on my best list for like three months. - WonkeyDude98
A 0? Wow, that's harsh. The last 0 I gave was Tyga's Stimulated, and that had to be the worst song ever written in order to get that. - Zach808
@Zach: For people like me, Elina, djpenguin, etc., 0s don't inherently mean the true bottom of the barrel, as in two in existence. It just means a song is really terrible. To go the extra mile, we've implemented negative ratings. - WonkeyDude98
The worst I've ever seen you give a song is -5/5, is that your limit? - Elina
It's not. My X by Rae Sremmurd, one of my 5 worst songs of all time, did get that score, but it was only #5. Anaconda, my #4, Karate Chop, my #3, and U.O.E.N.O., my #2, all got -100/5.
FACK, my #1, got a negative infinity/5. - WonkeyDude98
Just so you know the "-" Stands for negative, anyways The lowest songs I've rated were Watch me - silento (-Infinity/100), B***h I'm Madonna (-100/100), Sexy and I know it (-100/100), Stupid hoe (-99/100), and Fack by eminem (-98/100) - VideoGamefan5
Now I'm starting to reconsider liking all three songs. - ProPanda
I make people do that too much... - WonkeyDude98
Good review - Martinglez
A fine mighty high-quality post as expected from you, Andrew! Keep up the good work! Man, I'm jealous of you. - ModernSpongeBobSucks
Why, thank you! *tips hat* - WonkeyDude98
Man, this summer's summer jam season is not looking too bright. If the big summer hits are gonna be One Dance, Panda, This Is What You Came For (surprised that song wasn't in here considering it's probably the most boring of them all), and the 3 songs here, might have to turn off the radio this summer. I think I preferred last summer, when the only real duds were See You Again and Cheerleader with the rest being pretty decent. - Zach808
I feel ashamed to say that I like Panda (but I have made a joke about it being the greatest and worst song ever) and This Is What You Came For. Try Everything is inevitably going to flop, it had its chance for a while now.
As for last year, we had The Hills, one of the worst songs of all time, as the big summer hit, with Cheerleader just barely lagging behind. It was a rough time. As for See You Again, I think you have misunderstood the song by a long shot, and I look forward to discussing it someday. I got sick of it, but it was a genuinely good song.
If we're lucky, Ride will have a sudden breakthrough, and give us hope for a good summer, - WonkeyDude98
And as for why TIWYCF wasn't in here, I actually liked it, and it wasn't part of a movie soundtrack. - WonkeyDude98
Well billboards final summer hits list is here
meh - ProPanda
*calls PILLOWTALK a great song and I start laughing* - visitor
It's a philosophy they call so bad it's good. Well, at least that's lyrical. It's cheesy and explosive, something ZAYN's voice pulls off. And the beat is just...amazing. Monstrous, catchy, powerful, and fits the mood.
It deserved to debut at #1. CSTF didn't. - WonkeyDude98
I just dislike it because of how overdramaticized the song is. It's literally a song about wanting to have sex yet he acts like it's this super powerful and cool thing. It's not. The vocals are ear-bleedingly obnoxious. He sounds incredibly smug, like he's so proud that he made a song where he said the f word. And that part where he keeps going "bed all day, bed all day" makes me cringe so much that it causes me physical pain. But yeah, the beat is ok, it's the only part I can tolerate. Yeah, I get the "so bad it's good" thing, but with me this song is more "cringey-bad". I save the "so bad it's good" for songs like Friday and Chinese Food. Those songs are cringey, but they aren't serious, they're fun-bad. PILLOWTALK is just dark-cringe-bad. I can't listen to it without laughing at it. Honestly, I hate PILLOWTALK more than any 1D song I have heard. And that's saying something. - visitor
Eh. To each their own I suppose. - WonkeyDude98
Yeah. - visitor
Edit: Just Like Fire: 0/5
Can't Stop The Feeling: 1/5 - WonkeyDude98
I actually love Immortals - Hotheart123
Just Like Fire 9/10
Try everything 5/10 - 906389
CSTF! : 1/5
Try Everything: 4/5 - ProPanda
Can't Stop the Feeling: 4/10
Just Like Fire: 6/10
Try Everything: 5/10 - visitor
You Forgot Friends (angry birds movie), Unforgettable (finding dory), and the other 2 weren't out when you made this post
Friends - Blake Shelton (-50/5)
Unforgettable - Sia (2.5/5)
We Know The Way (Moana) - Dwayne The Rock Johnson (3.5/5)
Hope (Rogue One A Star was story (-30/5)
For these songs
Can't stop the feeling (2/5)
Just Like Fire (2.5/5)
Try Everything (-5/5) (Worst disney song ever since LET IT GOO! - VideoGamefan5
TE: 3/10 - JamesBourne