4X4: Panda vs. Cheap Thrills vs. Send My Love vs. Close

Spark_Of_Life
Yes, it's that time again. It's time to review four songs at once. And since none of these song titles have a least one letter common to all of them and one of them isn't in the top 20, there is no apparent theme here today. Let's just jump right in.

You know you've reached a new era in music when a song called "Panda" hits #1 on the charts. I'm not even going to drag this out any longer than I need to. I hate this song. It's the worst song to hit #1 this year so far. Desiigner is just another flash in the pan rapper we're never going to hear from again. He's one of three so far this year, with Kent Jones and Kevin Gates. In this, his voice is way too monotone and does not fit the pace of the song at all. Apparently, the inspiration of it came from a black and white car that looks like a panda. Uh... interesting theme you got there. But the worst part of the song is not Desiigner's flow or the meaningless, seemly random lyrics. It's the sheer craziness of it. Some of the background music consists of Desiigner making weird sounds with his mouth. And the creepy way he constantly says the word "panda" over and over is nightmare fuel in of itself. It doesn't help he draws out the syllables sometimes. The ONLY good thing about this song is the drum-like synth in the background, but, as we all know, that was bought of off YouTube by Desiigner for $200. So, all in all, 1/10, and that's just for the synth. Otherwise, it would be 0/10.

I might be about to commit music heresy here, but I've only heard four songs by Sia (if you don't count the ones with David Guetta and Flo Rida...shudder): Chandelier, Big Girls Cry, Elastic Heart, and this. I was not a fan of Chandelier, Big Girls Cry had nice lyrics, but was too slow and Elastic Heart, in all it's greatness, was awarded the #4 spot on my "Best Songs of 2015" list (behind "Earned It' by the Weeknd, "Talking Body" by Tove Lo, and "FourFive Seconds" by Rihanna, Kanye West, and Paul McCartney, in the that order) . But Cheap Thrills, well, this is a masterpiece. Sia's vocals are at their peak here, sounding carefree and playful. The lyrics are sweet and speak of not needing wealth or money to have fun. The synths, drums, and pinging electro sounds all come together for some very nice background music. Sean Paul elevates the song to new heights, with his surprisingly good rap verse and flow. The only blemish on this is the part of the chorus with the crowd screaming "I love cheap thrills!". It doesn't really fit the relaxed, playful tone of the rest of the song. Other than that, this is a strong 9.5/10. Sia's 2nd best song yet (Elastic Heart earned full marks).

For those of you who were living under a rock for the past eight years, Adele is a singer who got started in the UK around 2007. Her breakthrough single, "Chasing Pavements" was great, but it had it's flaws. She exploded onto the US scene in 2011 with the Grammy winning smash hit, "Rolling in the Deep". And in October 2015, she released the biggest song of her career: the memed to death, sweeping, eye dripping ballad called "Hello". One other single later (the well meaning but not terribly different "When We Were Young) , we have... "Send My Love", which is as different from "Hello" as "Respect" (by Aretha Franklin) is to "I Might Go Lesbian" (shudder). This is not necessarily a bad thing, it's just...I don't know what to make of this song. It sounds completely different from her style. It's by far the poppiest song she's released so far. And here's something I never thought I'd see in a million years: Adele working with Max Martin, of all people. So what does it all come together to be? A pleasing, but confusing 3:43. The guitar adds nothing to the instrumentals (which are ok by themselves), Adele's vocals are strangely flat (I'm not a fan of the way she over-pronounces the word "lover" on the chorus), and the lyrics are...I hate to say it, brilliant. But somehow, at the end, the bad parts and good parts come together to make a relatively good song. A solid 7.5/10.

Get your pitchforks and torches ready, cause I'm about to admit something: I'm a fan of Nick Jonas. From the lyrically awful but vocally and instrumentally perfect "Jealous", to the dark, moody masterpiece "Chains", and the fun, albeit gimmicky "Levels", Nick has proved himself to be a good singer. But his newest single, featuring one of favorite new breakout singers, Tove Lo, is amazing. This song is a vocal and instrumental nirvana. Nick's vocals are subdued but come out to full force just at the right moments(although, "ooh ooh ooh oohs" at the chorus needed a little tweaking). Tove Lo's are great, as always. The synths, electro sounds, and drum-esque beats sound amazing together. The whole thing is great... except for some problems with the lyrics. Something about "Space was just a word made up by someone who's afraid to get too..." sounds wrong. Some other lines like "oh man, oh man, oh man" and "ain't going backwards, won't ask for space" don't sound right either. This needed a few more rewrites. So, a comfortable 8/10. Needed a little tweaking, but still, wow.

Until next time.

Comments

Why does everyone like cheap thrills so much - djpenquin999

People like it because it's entertaining and upbeat, something SIA doesn't do often.
If you want a song to hate from her, have Sweet Design and Alive. - Swellow

It's not - visitor

Panda: 3/5 (I kinda like this, and it's definitely better than both Sorry and especially One Dance, both lf which hit #1 this year)
Cheap Thrills: 3/5 (original), 5/5 (Sean Paul version)
Send My Love: 3/5 (despite me liking this song, it actually measurably angers me)
Close: 5/5 - WonkeyDude98

Great review! - Martinglez

I hate panda...but I think close is not a good song either - 0744rose

Panda: 3.5/5
Cheap Thrills: 4.5/5 - Hotheart123

Panda: 4.5/5
Cheap Thrills: 4/5
Send My Love: 1/5
Close: 2/5 - AlphaQ

Panda: 4/10
Close: 5/10
Cheap Thrills: 6/10
Send My Love: 7/10 - NiktheWiz

Close 8/10
Panda 7/10
Cheap Thrills 7/10 Sia Version 8/10 Sean Paul Version
Send My Love 7/10 - JoDBoss

Whoa you really don't like Panda...I didn't find it that bad.

Edit: Sean Paul version: 5/5
Edit: Panda: pandapandapanda/5: 5/5 - AlphaQ

Why am I the only one who detest Close? - 51im_Ro55_2002

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